I really needed to see this today.
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Ok i’ll call one but it has to be tomorrow :/ busy all afternoon with work
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Don’t talk yourself out of your options before you find out if they are options. I can’t tell you how many times I convinced myself I was rejected and abandoned without even giving something a shot <3
Look at the university’s website and/or call them. If they can’t help you, ask if they can refer you to who can. Most will be EAGER to help you. They do this for a reason.
Call your local community or LGBT center. You don’t have to be queer for the latter. Their front desk will tell you if they offer such services, and if not, they will have a huge collection of people and organizations to point you toward.
Apply for Medicaid and let them tell you if you’re eligible.
Don’t think of this as something to do all at once. It’s one step at a time. I like to put up a timer for 20 minutes. I don’t have to spend all day on stuff I struggle with. Set the timer and take a concrete step for 20 minutes. When it’s over, you can forget about it until tomorrow.
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+1 to the procrastination thing and hating doing administrative bullshit like filling out forms.
It’s weird that so many of us who engage in the noble art of political fisticuffs here on the esteemed Unstuck forums have this problem of wasting time and not being productive. Maybe there is some commonality between us? I can’t imagine what it could be though.
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It’s kinda a relief knowing that others ITT have the same challenges with anxiety and putting off stuff. Like, I know people in general usually leave stuff like taxes late, but I definitely have my anxiety manifest in avoidance, which is then made worse by having to deal with things last minute.
I came up with a system recently which I am trying out as a way to hopefully be a bit more proactive. Though…I kinda enjoy coming up with systems, so sometimes I think that in itself is procrastinating.
Anyway, here is loosely how it works:
I call it “5 Days”.
Monday: Career
Tuesday: Physical Health
Wednesday: Mental Health
Thursday: Finance
Friday: Play/Inspiration
I use Notes on iOS to jot down stuff all the time. I created a separate note for each of the 5 days, and Pinned it so they are always at the top and easy to find. Whenever something comes up that relates to any of those overarching topics, I stick it into that note. I also have a corresponding folder on my macbook for files and such, and a bookmarking tool for related websites (https://www.gettoby.com/).
Each note I broke down into some subsections, with a To-Do list at the top, and then other subheadings. I think one of the headings is Goals, and the others might vary a bit by note.
Anyway, for me it is definitely helping at least keep track of things better. The goal is of course that each of the 5 days a week I dedicate some time to that particular area, even if it’s only 30-60 minutes. Of course I said “goal” because I am definitely not compliant with it yet, but it’s a work in progress and I think it might be a sustainable way forward for me.
In the past I have used all kinds of things such as Trello boards, elaborate Evernote setups, etc. But notepad just continued to be my default, which is why a few months ago I decided to just try a system that centered around it.
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A great research-backed lifehack for reduced procrastination is to include a realistic time estimate for each task on your to-do list. We tend to over-estimate the effort required to complete menial tasks (especially when stressed), so this helps to keep us grounded while also making it easier to prioritize based on our available time.
For example:
Random to-do list
Post in mental health thread (5)
Unload dishwasher (5)
Lift for 20 minutes (20)
Water plants (5)
Take out trash (3)
Call Jake from State Farm (5-10)
ETA: Also break larger tasks (e.g., taxes) into smaller ~20-minute chunks on your to-do list so they feel more achievable and you’re creating a more frequent feeling of progress.
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it’s a battle for me to take care of daily household and life chores that keeps my life not spiraling into a hellhole. It happened at my last place - I let things get pretty bad. I don’t know why it is so hard for me. I live alone so it kind of exacerbates the problem because I obviously don’t have guests because of corona, so a lot of times I don’t feel any urgency to picking up or cleaning.
I’m doing a lot better lately, I did some yard work to remove some overgrown weeds and grasses that have kind of taken over the backyard. I didn’t finish but I did start it, which is good for me usually.
Things tend to just sort of pile up on me and I get paralyzed. I feel very much like that right now but it has been better than it’s historically been. When it gets super bad I can’t even talk about it like this.
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And on another topic, living alone is really brutal lately. I typically enjoy my own company - more than most, definitely - but I have felt starved for social interaction after WFH for the last 4 months. My roommate moved at the end of last month so I am about 3 weeks in to living alone again and I have to say it feels like I am going a bit stir crazy sometimes. I don’t really know what to do about it, other than once a week I take the small risk and go golf. It gets me out and seeing friends. But it is still only on sundays and even then not every sunday.
I don’t have a lot of friends or a girlfriend so it’s really just me all the time in my own thoughts.
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All that time between sets 
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Do you have a fur baby?
I had a cat but I had to leave her with my neighbor when I moved late last year. I miss her a lot.
Aw man. I would too. I’m sorry to hear you had to leave her. What was the reason? Are you unable to have a pet no? I get the feeling of loneliness. I had my dog certified as an emotional support animal so she can live with me anywhere (for free).
It was really complicated. She was an outdoor cat her whole life at the place I lived. She’s 9 years old and was approaching senior age, and I felt since she was purely outdoor she would run away and get confused if I uprooted her. In fact I am pretty sure of it. My neighbor was EXTREMELY attached to her, and didn’t want me to take her anyway - so taking her felt really cruel and stupid. it was a pretty logical decision to leave her, but it hurt a lot. I had her since she was a kitten.
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Oh man. I did not know about that. What a tough decision.
Does this mean you could have a new fur baby now???
If I wanted, yea. But since I’m not really sure how long I’m staying here or if I’ll move again, I don’t really want to emotionally invest in another pet. Maybe something like a snake or a lizard would be cool.
Ah I see what you mean. I take for granted that I’ve been able to take my dog with me to just about anywhere, and I’ve lived a lot of different places over a short amount of time.
I swear we can just chat if you prefer. I can’t help but explore how to get a pet friend back in your life. Perhaps if you were a foster? That way you can feel an equal amount of gratitude and loss when you send them to their forever home knowing your love helped those pets start off on the right paw with their new family.
I’ve talked to my bf about fostering pets and his response is “So you want a new cat/dog?”. A very unsubtle hint that I’m a huge sucker for animals.
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I recently moved and took my cat with me. We lived in a tiny cabin for five years and Gonzo had a door and would come in and out as he pleased. It was pretty much the perfect cat life, hunting small rodents in the woods and sleeping under trees, but also coming in when it snowed and always having food.
Anyway, when I moved into the new house I brought him with me. I’ve felt really guilty about this–frankly, more guilty than I should. I have this feeling that he misses his old life, and that living in this new house, where he doesn’t go outside because of a busy road, is miserable for him.
But. He’s a cat. And I remind myself of this–and that his life is still really good, albeit with less stimulus.
But I definitely understand the decision, @jmakin. And how hard that can be. … Cat’s are really amazing, imo. A dog is just too much responsibility. But I can’t imagine my life without G in it. He’s definitely my adventure buddy. We camped once, somewhere in PA, when I was splitting time between upstate NY and DC. I left a window cracked and went to register at a state park site.
The ranger asked if I had any pets and I said no. Not sure why, just instinct. Anyway, he pauses and looks at me and then says, “so what’s that?” And I turn just in time to see Gonzo worming his way out of the gap in the open window and run into the woods. Fun times. … “Uhhhh. I thought you just meant dogs since he never leaves the van. Usually, anyway.”
Pets are awesome for anxiety and mental health. For me, he is an excellent reminder that I’m a good and decent person. Some days I need that.
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Great post.
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I had a little corn plant (not the vegetable) for a year or so but it died after covid started because I kept forgetting to take it outside for light.
I’ve always wanted to try my hand at growing weed - maybe i’ll give it a shot.