Thank you CM. We have actually been in couples therapy for about two months now. Previously my husband was not willing to go therapy. He thought we would be fine on our own. However, I explained that it couldn’t hurt and he agreed finally. We are willing to do anything we can to improve our relationship. My husband has been an active participant in therapy which makes me very happy considering his initial hesitancy. I think he even enjoys it! Each session we come away feeling stronger.
I am so happy to hear that you have had positive experiences working on yourself and learning to be on your own again. Regardless of how long you two were together, being on your own again can be a daunting idea. Keep up the good work!
2 Likes
Thanks. This was nice to hear and needed after a rough day. The wife has recently started dating the affairee again after they stopped seeing each other during our separation period. So a bit of a fresh wound opened up, and hit me with a pretty strong blast of loneliness. Luckily the work ive done in therapy the last few months is being very effective. Preventing spiraling and thoughts like “Ill be alone forever” or “shes going to marry the guy she cheated with.” To focus more on the what im feeling and why. In the past even typing those things would have led to a spiral but therapy has truely helped me find ways to cope with things even when they kind of flip your world on its head.
3 Likes
Oh man. I am so sorry. That is rough. However, good on you for remembering what you have learned in treatment. That is easier said than done. I know I can still spiral under the right conditions.
Learning to be ok with being alone and learning to love yourself is more important than finding someone new, IMHO. I believe that in order to meet the right person and be in the right head space for a new relationship, you need to be first solid with yourself. Otherwise, if you are not, if is like starting off on a negative. So how is that going to turn out successful? Again, that is my opinion.
I think that is why me and my husband have been as successful as we are in reconciliation. I have worked on myself, my independence and my happiness with myself. And, should reconciliation fail, I know I will still be okay on my own so it is like a win win scenario. It is an ongoing piece of work though. It, me, requires ongoing maintenance. Sometimes it is very tiring and I just wish my life was normal. Who wouldn’t right? But is anyone’s life normal? We all have our burdens to bear.
Here’s to all of us fighting the good fight.
2 Likes