yea I definitely meant more so envision i guess and yea i agree with the married young thing.
I guess i meant C as more of you anticipate/look forward seeing them and that sort of thing?
Had to block someone today for … well, the first time. Totally not my “fault,” unless you count dating someone who I recognized was not a healthy individual. … I’m genuinely uneasy this person is going to just show up at my door or harass me in other methods. … this is an excellent lesson. So thanks, Universe.
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Grunch. Total a****** move on her part. You said she was young but she’s not 16 years old! And leaving your keys hanging on your door! That’s not very good security.
I know how you feel. I haven’t felt like it in 30 years, but I know it sucks. But I also know you’ll be fine. When covid is over I’m going to van life myself over to Utah and cheer you up. Maybe we’ll do shrooms or something.
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Grunching,
Someone I slept with twice who ghosted me about two years ago out of nowhere messaged me on instagram the other day asking why I didnt block her on there but have blocked her on fb. Then she apologized for ghosting me. I didnt know how to nicely say “you dont really matter to me that much so it never occurred to me to block you everywhere” so I was cordial and we had a nice chat which ended when she left me on read.
I was fairly active in the dating world for many years. Been ghosted plenty, some with more obvious reasons, others not so much. Not so much dating these days, but I would not call what happened to you a true ghosting. Like, I dont know how young this person was but leaving your shit at the door was a thing that most serial ghosters of the age group I’m thinking (20-25) wouldnt even bother with. I know it feels really shitty and this doesn’t help much, but that was a courtesy.
Ghosting is such a weird and annoying thing to me. One I remember clearly, I had hit it off great with this girl and we had similar interests, both found each other pretty attractive, talked on the phone and through text a bunch. Then poof. I dont know why this incident stands out to me but every previous time I had been ghosted there were clear indicators that it was going to happen.
Usually it’s because they found someone else. In your case that seems pretty obvious.
On both those ghosts, if they were me, I’d assume that it was because we didn’t end up having sex. I have had the “didnt have sex when i probably could have” ghost before.
You guys make me remember how much I dreaded dating…
And how fun it could be.
Between the two options though, give me the married life for sure
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As someone who has had women in his room who surely wanted sex and didn’t get it more times than anyone on the forum–I hope–the punishment for being in a spot where she wants sex and you either don’t want it or are too socially awkward to make it happen is immediate and severe. I know there are exceptions, but it’s pretty common for them to write you off for good and to be actively disgusted by your presence, if you should have the misfortune of ever seeing them again.
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Ha. Yeah. This is very true. Getting married young and feeling youve missed out makes for bad relationship, no matter how good the match. Been there.
Older and wiser. Its pretty much never on all 3.
Well she did warn me.
M [driving]: *flips off guy who drifted into our lane* I’m an asshole, you know.
Me: Pshaw, no you’re not.
She is ~median age of posters on this forum. So, younger. The key was in a bag, not visible. There is a code-entry door thing for the building. Few tenants walk past my door. That part didn’t bother me. See my reply to jmakin below tho.
I know how you feel. I haven’t felt like it in 30 years, but I know it sucks. But I also know you’ll be fine. When covid is over I’m going to van life myself over to Utah and cheer you up. Maybe we’ll do shrooms or something.
Thanks, man. Beer is more my speed but we’ll see.
She’s late 30s. I didn’t care about that stuff, key included. She could have kept or thrown it out afaic. I might be taking it differently than it was intended but leaving it like that felt like a slap in the face on the way out. Unnecessary.
Usually it’s because they found someone else. In your case that seems pretty obvious.
Occam’s razor say’s that’s it, end of story. But it bothers me that this is so out of character for her. She’s fiercely loyal to her friends. My read could be off but if it’s off by this much, well that bothers me too. I’ve never had a relationship, friendship or romantic, end quite like this.
Anyway, thanks everybody for sharing your stories.
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That little guy probably has some great motion.
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My current relationship is the best that I’ve ever been in, and that isn’t just recency bias talking. High levels of compatibility and mutual respect.
I’ve always struggled with understanding and picking up on social cues and norms, which I’m sure has frustrated past partners. So, this time, very early on in our relationship, I just flat out told her(I don’t remember verbatim): “If you want us to work, you have to be explicit with me. If you want or need something from me, then tell me exactly what it is. Don’t expect to drop hints and have me pick up on them, even ones you think are super obvious.”
It’s working great so far.
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Sure, but the other one may help finally get the frog out of your throat.
How did she respond to this price of admission?
What strategies and compromises have you negotiated?
Really glad to hear it’s working great for you so far. I love that you were direct about your need and limit. A person could spend a lifetime telling themselves they’re not allowed to even admit the limit, let alone tell the other person that’s just the price of admission if they want to be with you.
I keep a big fat heavy aluminum flashlight in my car. It’s not there so much for the photons as for the potential punch it packs.
I have a dating/sex story from this past weekend that seems relevant to some of the themes being discussed. Starts as a brag but quickly turns into a beat.
So I’m on a 4th date with this cool, smart, hot foreign service officer, and we’re at her place. Things are going great, we’re having drinks and being flirty and playing jenga (lol). Anyway, she beats me and before I know it she LEAPS on top of me and aggressively starts making out with me. We head into the bedroom and have sex. She’s on her period so it’s a little awkward but still hot. I stay overnight. She keeps grabbing me to cuddle. All seems good.
I leave the next morning and text her a day later to make plans again. She replies back that she “has enjoyed getting to know me but isn’t feeling a romantic spark and doesn’t think we should see each other anymore in a romantic context”.
…what??
No idea if she didn’t like the sex and bailed or used me for sex or changed her mind or was seeing someone else or what, but I’ve never had something like this happen before. And although I had doubts about her as a long term match, the rejection still really stung, especially since it was so unexpected.
Anyway, the whole thing confused the hell out of me. Like most here, I’m highly analytical and always want to know why people act the way they do. I think that can make dating incredibly frustrating at times, since you can never know what the other person is thinking, whether they’re dating other people, their history, etc. It’s so easy to turn this confusion inwards and start having thoughts like “what did I do wrong?” and making it about you when it may have nothing to do with you at all.
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She liked the sex and just wants to keep it to sex only, probably being nice about how she doesnt like you. It stings but I’ve been used for sex plenty and there are much worse situations lol.
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Maybe? I’d be up for that but honestly am afraid to ask out of fear of being rejected again.
I dunno, don’t think I’d use the phrase “romantic spark” like that if I just wanted sex, but maybe you’re right.