She liked the sex and just wants to keep it to sex only, probably being nice about how she doesnt like you. It stings but I’ve been used for sex plenty and there are much worse situations lol.
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Maybe? I’d be up for that but honestly am afraid to ask out of fear of being rejected again.
I dunno, don’t think I’d use the phrase “romantic spark” like that if I just wanted sex, but maybe you’re right.
Wait a little while, play it cool and then just invite her over (and make it clear what your intentions are without explicitly saying so). worst case she doesnt respond, best case you have a hot fuck buddy. Those arent always easy to come by.
I’m pretty sure from the way you described the situation that there’s a decent likelihood she is up for it.
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When people do something for the first time, detectives always get curious. --Columbo
To add to this, we’re all the heroes of our own stories. Other people have stories too but are also characters in our story. If someone we care about breaks character, then that messes up our story, sometimes to the extent that we’re forced to revise it. This is why we’re compelled to understand why other people do what they do.
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Some stereotypes hold. She can outdrink me. She’s fearless. Says she’d make a good assassin. That she can’t face me to tell me what’s up doesn’t add up. Other cliches don’t apply so well. She’s a terrible liar. Not sure she realizes that though.
You got me to lol, you gigantic loveable bastard. But by next Christmas she’ll probably have been married a year so that would be awkward. And unless civilization has collapsed, farming’s for chumps imo.
I responded in this thread instead of the age one for reasons.
I agree with all of this and usually phrase it as the ‘stars of their own movies’ but it’s the same gist.
jj just liked my post I made initially to you and I then reread it.
I think it still boils down to misunderstanding women. You’re missing your friend but that doesn’t break character for a woman when she will drop everything in her life and become devoted to the man she’s with. This may be sexist and it’s why I hesitate to say things and be rebuked but seeing your pain makes me want to say what I’ve learned in life. Obviously people vary, but high school never really ends. In the same way that a girl will drop everything and her life will revolve around a new bf, so will it be true with certain women. Some of that will be due to their own proclivities naturally, and some of that will be an informed behavior due to a litany of personal experiences.
A woman on the market will have her heart open to a lot of relationships that suddenly become meaningless once she gets settled in with someone — especially the opposite sex (if they’re a good person and aren’t looking to keep future options open). Women are cats and guys are dogs, dogs like to travel in packs and are much more simple. I’m sure we’re still confusing to cats tho.
I understand the insecurity you had with not wanting to make a move with an age gap. I can relate as I have a story that I’m not looking to get into with an extremely hot 19 year old that I fooled around with in my late 20s that I worked with. Last pang of heartache and disappointment too.
Is she actually from Russia? If so, whatever, I don’t know that I can speak too much about someone with a different nationality when I’m leaning on anecdotal experience. I’d think the human nature would still hold but Russians are fucking tough and cold man, I don’t bet against them in MMA (outside of the fact they’re all super high priced bc everyone else has caught on so any value is on the other side, but I digress).
It’s probably because she actually cares deeply about you and doesn’t want to hurt you. Being tough and good at drinking doesn’t mean she’s callous to your feelings and willfully going to hurt both of you more. Your read about her feelings for you are right, but she knows (in her opinion) she can’t continue to be your friend and the whole thing sucks so she just split instead of crying and that making her question her decision about everything in general or telling you some harsh things needlessly.
There’s no real benefit of any goodbye outside of her not being something of the villain she is now and she was willing to have that trade-off. Maybe I’m a bit autistic and look at it differently than you but I think I get her angle where you’re confounded.
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Her parents are from Russia. She was born in one of the Soviet satellites. They came to the US as refugees when she was quite young. She gave me a pic of her with her sister from that period.
Devil: How come you guys aren’t smiling?
M: Nobody smiles in pictures in Russia.
I think the cold Russian stereotype is only very superficially true, to judge by her family. They are warm, generous and kind. I think her mom loves me. They hate socialism though. I was careful not to get into politics with her dad, other than listening respectfully.
Worked with a couple of Russian immigrants in construction, gregarious and hard working af.
The couple was literally a couple. Olga was right there with her man, cutting him pipe. Don’t remember his name but he was missing half his top teeth from some type of politically motivated beating he took, which was his impetus for the move.
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Yeah, her parents are hyper patriotic Americans now. They were persecuted for their religious beliefs in Russia. I’d have to say they took it personally. Which I can understand. M will get into it over politics at times with her dad but it tears her up so tries to avoid it.
She’d pull a cuse without telling Devil.
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HELL NO.
I did make the mistake of telling her about this place, so who knows. She was at one time highly political and very lib. All that remains of that is artsy hipster stuff which I occasionally made fun of her for. She mostly wants to enjoy life now.
I can’t believe when I met her I thought she was annoying. I don’t know what’s happened to me.
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What? Is cuse still here? I mean I hope so. It’s a Dvaut-level loss for this place for him to go.
If this was a buddy comedy this is where we’d do an intervention and be like, “WE NEED TO GET YOU LAID!”
I’m sorry Devil.
It’s a fundamental problem but I don’t want to have a sex-only relationship. I tried when I was younger but I pretended to like that person more than I did and ofc hurt that person’s feelings. I don’t want to repeat that. I’d rather accept no sex. The bigger downside is, a couple of times I’ve fallen in love with friends and that’s caused pain too. Usually just when I think I’m out of the romance business, they pull me back in!
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Right, you’d be a bad lead.
We’re going to cast suzzer.
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I quite like the movie/story model of behavior. It’s the topic of the book, The Science of Storytelling, which I have recommended numerous times in other threads.
I agree a younger, more charismatic actor would be a better choice for this project.
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I said suzzer.
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