Looking for advice from anyone familiar with estate law.
My wife’s mom died a few months ago, in her 60s. She had aggressive cancer that took over and killed her much sooner than expected. She had three children: Wife, Brother, and Sister. During her last few months, she repeatedly dictated to her children that she wanted her estate (house, cars, accounts) to be split evenly. However…
Upon her death, the children agreed to split things evenly and chose Brother to be the executor. He contacted attorneys and started the process. Then, two months in, a photocopy of a will appears (through some sketchy circumstances, which I could expand on if it matters) that designates Sister as the executor and gives Sister the house.
We just learned that Sister also liquidated at least two accounts that had designated her as the sole beneficiary. She did so without telling her siblings, and even withheld that information while sitting with them while we were all scouring through paper records in their mom’s house trying to determine which accounts even existed, and where. Sister also grabbed the two family heirloom rings, and refuses to give one to my wife because they were “for her.”
The attorneys won’t accept the photocopy and want an original, so they still haven’t designated an executor and haven’t filed for probate (?). My wife is obviously absolutely devastated, both the disregarding of her mother’s wishes and the shady bullshit coming from Sister.
What options do Wife and Brother have here? Seems they’re going to be SOL. Obviously they view this as a complete betrayal and will be going NC with Sister if she goes through with this.
I am in Canada, so it’s a different legal system, but here your only recourse would be to lawyer up bigly and contest everything. Make records of everything (keep anything Sister texts or emails, any time Sister says something to you write it down in a notebook and date it).
Dividing estates destroys families all the time. It’s a sad part of the Boomer experience, lots of boomers are leaving big inheritances thinking that they are doing their kids a huge favor, but without proper estate planning as often as not any significant estate will destroy the family.
Without a valid will or her name on the deed, Sister can’t legally sell the house.
If your mother previously named Sister as sole beneficiary on forms with her financial institutions, these proceeds likely would be considered legally hers, regardless of your mother’s stated wishes.
I can’t imagine that when someone dies in testate the grown children can simply choose who should be the executor. Technically, none of you really have the right to do anything with any of her assets until a probate judge becomes involved.
However, I imagine that probate judges don’t want to deal with “who gets which trinkets” when someone dies in testate. Consequently, it might be best to let the rings go, and take what you want from the house.
Thanks all. We’re trying to get a meeting with the lawyers this week to discuss the status and the new info. I’m trying to understand what options even exist; if it’s hopeless then we don’t want to waste time/money contesting.
Not even sure how to explain it. I don’t think this info matters to the issue at hand and don’t want to over-share, so I’ll summarize:
Brother contacted attorneys that MIL was known to have used, hoping one might have filed a will. No luck. Then, a “friend” of MIL, who also happens to be a real estate agent and would presumably be the selling agent if Sister gets the house and immediately sells it, gets in touch with one of the lawyers, Shady Lawyer, who had told Brother that he didn’t have a will. Shady Lawyer provides Friend with a photocopy of a will that gives Sister the house, and Friend gives that photocopied will to Sister. There are other parties involved, like Sister’s fiance (who was in prison less than a year ago for not paying child support, and proposed 5 weeks after MIL died) and ex-StepDad, father of Sister, who defrauded MIL for 6 figures while married and presumably thinks that the more Sister gets, the more he can grab.
Just really shitty people all around, revealing themselves to be shitty people.
That’s what sister is counting on. How was that relationship before?
Of course getting Mom to get a formal will would have helped.
My Dad inferred some things to his live in girlfriend that did not jibe with what he had written down. Thankfully the bank was the executor and she executed the will to the letter which is best for us 4 brothers.
No, but she says that she did. My wife, despite opening and running her own business, flew across the country at her own expense and with a complete loss of income, to take MIL to doctor’s appts and care for her. Sister stepped up at the very end and so says she did more, but it is becoming clear that she’s a perpetual victim and will make up whatever reality necessary to justify her narcissistic actions.
I guess it should be left to lawyers, but a lawyer’s letter mentioning that faking the will or getting her mother to sign something when she clearly wasn’t competent is a serious crime (I’m sure it is) might be necessary.
The will is from 4 years so if it’s real, it’s legit, and they’re all at her mercy. It just feels shady as hell, that the lawyer wouldn’t give it to brother but gave it to real estate agent friend.
And even if it’s legit, it’s so fucked up to just grab everything and tell your siblings basically “fuck you”, in addition to being contrary to MIL’s stated wishes that all parties supposedly agreed with.
We went through this when my grandmother died. Everybody in the family knew her wishes but after her death the daughter that lived in the same city basically divided everything the way she saw fit. My mom got basically nothing of the things she was promised. Nothing of real value worthy of lawyers so eventually she walked away and in the end after another argument never spoke to her family again.
So besides valuables and sentimental value be careful to fight over things as it can really destroy the family forever.
Yea honestly I think the family heirloom rings (from their grandmother) hurts her the most. Two rings, two daughters, both promised them, but Sister got her greedy hands on them first and refuses to give one. That was the point where Wife and Brother realized they were dealing with a selfish monster.
This confirms that your only solution is to hire a lawyer if you don’t want to give up.
I guess wife, sister, and brother have at least two different fathers between them? What’s the age difference? What were their relations before mother died?
I can’t answer any actual questions, especially without knowing the state she lived in. I do know that a photocopy is not necessarily considered acceptable in some states. It’s probably not valid if it lacks appropriate witnesses. I assume the attorneys have questioned the witnesses and I wonder if they might be from the subset of shady associated people.