Fuck you.
Feel like I need to second this.
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And I’ve said this multiple times on this forum but everyone should just listen to Savage Love Podcast, it’ll make you a better person in relationship/sex areas.
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How did I renounce my position? Even if we accept the brain science it is also averages and can’t speak to individual scenarios. Society has chosen 18 or 21 as ages of being an adult. This is widespread. Ages for sexual consent are often lower.
I suggested a new postulate for discussion. I didn’t renounce anything.
My argument all along still stands. Knowing nothing else, there is nothing inherently wrong with relationships between people of widely differing ages, even those under 25.
I thought this was you changing from 20 to 25.
I said “could” in the preamble. I should have used a question mark to be more clear but it was me asking if people would have no issue with a 25 year old dating a 70 year for example.
Well, what do you mean by “issue?” Do I care what the actual people do? Not really unless they are actual friends/family. Was the humor/spotlight poked at Anna Nicole Smith unfair? Not at all imo.
Do you not see how these ideas around sex are harmful, especially to women?
You claim I like to die on this hill and I’ll admit I do but only because too few others are willing to do so. We all have very well calibrated racism radar but when it comes to issues of sexuality there are a lot of blind spots here and people who unthinkingly adopt old conservative ideas about sex. This is especially true around female sexuality. The notions often strip women of their sexual agency or treat them as unable to consent.
This is almost always triggered by someone we hate on the right doing something sexual. Then too often our progressive morals go out the window.
I think real world harm is done to people, on a massive scale, with these ideas around sex. The data backs me up. Therefore, I’ll continue to die on this hill.
I hope at some point I won’t need to just as we don’t need to about racism within this community.
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I know sex is like, your thing, but the majority of this discussion has been about relationships, not strictly sex.
You have frequently talked at me, and like microbet said, have a very real problem following a conversation. You are having the conversation you want to have, rather than talking with microbet and I. Do better.
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C’mon man, don’t say stuff like this and then claim that Clovis isn’t following the conversation or talking with you.
edit: oops, the good dr chesspain has nothing to do with my post
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I’m still going to bill you for the hour.
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I feel like I should respond, but don’t know how. I’m surprised you’re so mad.
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What data backs up that there is nothing wrong with a relationship between a 50 yo and a 20 yo?
Sincerely asking.
In fact the social stigma is often cited as the main complicating factor.
This doesn’t speak to those ages exactly.
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I was asking what data backs up your claim that there is nothing wrong with a 50 yo having a relationship with a 20 yo.
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Young people are indeed vulnerable and should be treated in a way that is mindful of that…
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My statement was replying to Clovis. You can’t state that a 20 yo is ready for a relationship with a 50 yo and in the same breath say that the 20 yo needs to be treated differently because they are not ready.
Age is really just acting as a proxy for wealth and savvy, right? And Clovis is saying that sight unseen, there’s nothing inherently wrong with a thirty-year age gap. It’s a pretty modest claim that doesn’t really speak to the objections most people are raising, which are presumably rooted in the greater spending power and not-being-a-sapness implied by being older.
But it’s also surely about skepticism that a 50-yo can feel a genuine, peer-like rapport with a 20-yo. Probably not, right? And if they can it’s probably indicative of some deep-seated immaturity or nefariousness attracted by the very lack of cop-on a 20-yo is apt to have. Doesn’t seem like a stretch to draw some fairly unflattering conclusions about the older party.
Admitting that it’s the older parties job to use the “campfire theory” or whatever the hell everyone is talking about proves that there is a power dynamic in play.
Otherwise the older party wouldn’t have to be mindful of that.
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