When did you help buy the house? Could be nothing they can do for now if it was before interest rates spiked and they can’t afford a mortgage at higher rates. Is it really that important to you to get a house now?
yea my therapist always pushes me to resolve this situation and i say something similar every time. what’s the rush, really? this isn’t an “urgent” situation by any means and could actually still work out fine. this could theoretically be fine for a while, it just causes a lot of undue stress. like, what if the market crashes? tax implications (i havent even looked at this yet, it terrifies me) what if there’s a fire and the house is lost? earthquake? idk man, it just feels like such insane risk to me just leaving it out there.
there’s not a “need” to buy something per se but I’m at such an insane crossroads in my life, if I had the option right now, I would totally buy a home in butt fuck montana or something and just disappear for a bit and get my head straight.
every single friend I’ve had in CA has either moved away or I ended the friendship. family all moved away too. there’s nothing for me here and i want to leave.
LOL I have no idea what this means but it cracked me up anyway, thank you
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he lost his fam, and he says ‘there’s nothing for me here now’ when he gets back to Kenobi
just take it easy, mang. you’ll get it worked out
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haha ok that’s what I thought.
On taxes, a) looks like nothing to worry in first place in non-recourse states like California, you are not liable for the shortfall so no windfall to be taxed when the debt is extinguished after you give up the house in foreclosure b) even in recourse states, up to $750k in forgiveness is not taxable through 2025. Was a big problem after 2007 so Congress passed something and keeps passing short term extensions.
Still think you are fine. Tough thing is you don’t really need it to go away financially but understandably want it to go away because the uncertainty is obviously not good for anyone.
On their end, I’m sure they really want to get this resolved too. Balancing point is pressuring them to refi if it’s merely annoying to them rather than financially disastrous or not even feasible because the bank won’t give them the loan.
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completely agree, which is why when the mom explained that she didn’t have the credit score yet to get the loan she wanted, I understood, which I had told her from the beginning was extremely unlikely in april. as long as they show good faith i am willing to give them time they need - but I do have a very real clock ticking on my end, which I am trying to communicate to them as well. my personal situation, what I’ll say publicly about it, is not great at all
I feel bad that my brother moved back to Utah before I could hang out with you. Any interest/ability to come out to Vegas?
vegas got a bit… dark last time. after the sister shit i called out of work immediately and just drove to vegas. what happened that trip we will not speak of but just imagine hangover-esque and tone it down a tad and it’s probably fairly close.
but yea, i’m down. i had planned on playing WSOP this year but it’s just not gonna be practical. I want to go out to see my boy howard and maybe a few others that are playing this year so I’ll probably end up out there at some point.
oh yea i mentioned it in a handful of the drama threads but my therapist finally got me to accept that I am on the spectrum. She’s been trying to tell me for 3+ years and for whatever reason I wouldn’t accept it. Finally, I joined a few high functioning ASD groups and was quite startled. The big one for me was a thread on synesthesia - look it up if you dont know, it’s quite common in ASD types. Well, I have it with numbers, and I could never really describe it but when I see a number it’s quite more than just a few digits. They take on shapes, personalities, vivid imagery - to the point where I can do stuff that even to me is quite unexplainable sometimes. Good example was several months ago there was a work chatroom where they were trying to track down the origin of a certain IP address and couldn’t. I saw it and immediately recognized it like you’d recognize an acquaintance you saw a few months back. “Oh yea that’s mr russia server 43”. Everyone thought it was impossibly weird but I ended up being right, and given the fact I’ve had such severe memory issues the last year or two I couldn’t quite explain that til now.
I’ve had it since I was a kid and it’s very obvious now. Every single person I’ve told has been like “Well, yea? We thought you knew.” Lol. It’s quite a fucking relief because a problem that has plagued me my entire life is what I consider quite a mean question posed to me insanely often and I only rarely understand why it’s asked, or when I analyze it after the fact - “What the fuck is WRONG with you?” Now I have somewhat of an explanation. I am opening interactions now by telling people I am a bit on the spectrum and have trouble understanding boundaries and norms and just need things clearly stated to me. it’s worked BEAUTIFULLY so far.
my answer to that q was always “I dont know.” I always felt different, I always felt weird, from like day 1. My mom bullied me mercilessly over it, and I was bullied pretty bad in school early on until I compensated by getting crazy good at sports and used my athleticism to bully people on the sports field. I got some respect and even became fairly popular late in highschool, which is why I always immediately ruled it out.
people frequently describe me as charming, charismatic, well spoken, etc. I realize lately now that it’s just a mask. My natural self is not this way at all, and what covid showed me 1000% is that when you throw me into an environment where I dont know the social expectations or norms, I’m gonna do really fucking awful until I figure it out.
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Love u bro
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this is the one i was thinking of playing, i am told i can just walk up and register if i want
https://www.wsop.com/pdfs/structuresheets/structure_4943_20332.pdf
i am super rusty at a lot of these games and probably dead money but i have won a few horse tournaments over the years and it always surprises me.
I plan on playing that event.
well, you’re welcome for donating then. think im gonna do it, I just have to maneuver my on call schedule to get out of that day.
if i TID, i will quit my job and play in the HORSE championship and let it ride
If you could come out earlier, the Orleans has a 600 stud on the 13th and MGM has a weird razz omaha8 NLHE stud 8 mix on the 14th
i forgot about my cat - im gonna have to figure that out
one of the more fun things i worked on recently was a geneology(sp? buckle up, it’s gonna get misspelled a lot) project that started out quite innocently but turned into something way bigger very quickly.
i never much cared for history, but what started out as a seemingly innocent question someone had asked me at one point, “how do you know your family is black?”
I’m white as hell, I’m sure you all know what I look like. when challenged over the years I simply ask people to do a search on my surname and see what color people pop up. it’s almost all black. so of course, I know somethings there, in addition to my dad being quite dark/tan and with black “features” (before he went bald he rocked an afro).
i learned very quickly tho it’s quite a sensitive topic in my immediate family on that side, who are for the most part a mix of virulent racists or at best quite ignorant about it. how that happened i can get into a lot, but I actually blame white people for that too.
anyway even my own father didnt know til quite late in his life, when his dad (my paternal grandpa) came clean because his mother had passed (a white woman) and they found his birth certificate in her belongings and it listed his father’s race as “negro.”
so that’s all we had for a while, a single name of this guy and my grandpa refused to talk about it ever again other than to mention the name. if you asked him what color his dad was, he’d get violently angry and say “HE WAS THE SAME AS ME.” my grandpa wasn’t dark at all but probably would look native american to a lot of people and thats the lie he told his whole life.
anyway i had connected with people of my surname via facebook and chatted with them over the years. there’s seriously only a few thousand of us left in the whole world, which makes it one of those rare surnames you can actually find quite a lot about if you go digging, which I didnt know. we all knew we had come from slave lineage and we even had extensive journals (the slave owner guy’s actually quite famous in the louisiana region he lived, which is the lake charles area - little was known about frontier life at that time and this weirdo kept daily logs for like 25 years of life on his farm).
I’ll try not to make this too long but although we knew the link was likely and we all knew we were related somehow no one could trace it despite several attempts, and after getting drunk and bragging to this lady about what an elite h4cker d0xxer i am, I realized, actually i could “doxx” my own lineage possibly.
i started on ancestry but realized they were giving me results based on their own interpretations of the data. i went straight to the source. census records and anything public that I had access to. my grandpa was fucking don draper dude. i swear he was a ghost. i could find nearly anyone in my family somewhere in these records, even his alleged father - not him. he was a ghost. i even could track his father all the way to the matriarch slave (i’ll get into this later) which no one had yet been able to do, and the trick was just using some data analysis techniques. the trick was i suspected very very early that since my name is quite weird and often misspelled it was probably mispelled in census records quite often, especially reconstruction era censuses. i did a simple regex on my last name and boom, jackpot.
anyway they were all excited about that but my puzzle was still not solved. i could not yet prove i was related to any of these fucking people.
part two coming.
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quite an uncomfortable question early on was… am I from the slave lineage or the slave owner’s “legitimate” lineage? we knew from analyzing his journal that he was not the typical slave owner you really might imagine. he was a highly educated schoolteacher and not a lot is known about him (YET, I havent done my digging there yet) other than the extensive journal he kept which is now a valuable historical record for that entire region. he often wrote of one slave in particular, which I’m not gonna name because it’s way too easy to doxx me if i do, but I’ll call her Gaia because I think that’s pretty. anyway, this log is quite funny because it’s so insanely boring. he rarely misses days but it’s often bland stuff like “bought barrels of molasses $50 from mr pickey” but he was so meticulous about it that it actually reveals a lot.
one thing we all noticed is that he’d so casually mention losing children to illness without ever mentioning they were even ill, so casual that it was quite hilarious in my opinion, but Gaia could barely sneeze without him suddenly writing extensively about it, often paying huge sums of money in that day to have her treated.
clearly she was special to him, and we learned that she was actually gifted to him as some type of dowry by his father in law, who seemed very likely to be a prominent slaver (in fact, this slave owner guy’s father also seemed to be heavily involved in the slave trade - the degree of which made me quite disgusted when i went reading so i stopped).
afaict that was the only slave he owned other than her offspring, who were all listed in slave censuses as mulattos (racist term for mixed race if you didnt know). we connected enough dots there to figure out what happened.
anyway yea, my great grandpa all i had was a name and the missing link was my grandpa, who as i said appeared to be a fkn ghost til he was 18 and joined the military, and later became a cop in a small california rural town. i had loooooong suspected he was not born under the name he ended up taking, which is my surname, but how the fuck do i figure out his born name? even tracking down his mother was rough. It’s insane how little my aunt and uncle knew about him or their grandparents, they didn’t even know anything but her last name, which ended up being from a third marriage and the name i was given was mispelled.
i wont get into how i found her but it was rough dude, I went down a lot of false paths but finally hit paydirt when I went digging in newspaper records. Local papers are a fkn gold mine for finding out family stuff, because they tend to catalog major events like marriages and deaths quite well, and obituaries always list surviving family, which allowed me to connect the dots to her brother with her eventual final married name, which gave me her maiden name.
solved, right? just search for my grandpa under that maiden name. well, no, by the time he was born she had exited a marriage under quite mysterious circumstances that I still cant figure out, and somehow ended up in this area in central california where we all spawned. so i had to track down THAT whole mess.
thinking I could just go into census records and find them ended up being impossibly silly. She existed in a few places, but it was quite spotty (as well as records of my paternal grandfather around that time, very very spotty). Then the woman, who has been acting as kind of a mentor to me over race stuff, which I found out I was insanely ignorant about - posed a question to me that set off a lightbulb in my brain.
“Black family histories are often complicated. You will find that things you grew up believing, even things your grandparents grew up believing are completely false and wrapped up in elaborate lies. I want you to entertain the possibility that these people are hard to find not because the story you were told of your great grandma being a prostitute and your great grandpa being a homeless alcoholic john is true, but maybe, just maybe, these people were all living together quite happily for a time but were hiding it carefully because in that day, interracial marriage was not only illegal but could get you killed.”
holy shit. i had to look it up but interracial marriage was illegal in CA for a shockingly long time. I didnt even know. With that as my working theory - I started to find everything. so many dots connected that I couldn’t find before. so, stupidly, I got very excited and tried to tell my aunt - the reaction made me extremely depressed. She shut down and told me very seriously “you need to stop digging.”
well, fuck you, and I’m really sorry this is hard for you but this is important to not only me but other people as well, so I told her I wouldnt mention it anymore but I also wasn’t going to stop.
part 3 incoming
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