Is Mitch Dead?

Starting to think the guy is legit dead. Let’s speculate baselessly.

1 Like

I believe the correct term is brumation.

1 Like

Riverman curse has led to a sudden recovery

8 Likes

No pole. Sad.

I’m going with witness protection.

1 Like

World’s oldest democracy, senators go missing for weeks and no one knows if they’re dead or not, good stuff.

1 Like

Despite recent evidence to the contrary, Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear isn’t so sure that Senator Mitch McConnell is actually alive.

Speaking with journalist Katie Couric in an interview published on YouTube July 15, Beshear explained why he had requested a formal update from McConnell’s office earlier this month. In his explanation, Beshear revealed that he had received information from multiple officials indicating that the 84-year-old Republican had passed away.

“It had been a month before anything had been put out, not even an official statement from Senator McConnell,” Beshear recalled. “In fact, I’d gotten two calls from different agencies—not state agencies—suggesting he’s passed.”

He’s gone to Spain to visit with General Franco.

1 Like

Live griftin’ Die griftin’

US is nowhere near the oldest democracy, it only qualifies in a very narrow concept of the term.

If he’s dead, and if he’s been dead for a while, how do they eventually explain that? Is the Medical Examiner on the take too? I think it’s more likely that he’s brain dead, but real dead obviously can’t be ruled out.

Was he ever alive?

Schrodinger’s McConnell

5 Likes

Ain’t nothing in the constitution that says three small children wearing Mitch McConnell’s skin suit can’t serve in the senate

5 Likes

Yeah, he’s tubed up. He tried to walk to the light but was too weak, poor thing broke a hip

1 Like

1% Chance he’s dead dead.
30% Chance he’s brain dead and the proof of life photo was a hoax.
60% Chance he suffered such a serious medical emergency that he’s no longer capable of performing even basic functions and we will never actually see or hear him publicly again.

9% Chance the official narrative is true and he’s recovering normally.

Koss, the new Kalshi oddsmaker

a man in a suit and tie is giving a speech and says he 's dead .

4 Likes

Obama should come out and say, ‘We made him a one-term life support patient.’