But the yield is .24%?
I don’t get how this is even possible. Is physical water actually traded on any markets?
Do you even bundle water-backed-collateralilzed-obligations bro?
More importantly - I have a plan how we can dump govt-subsidized water in the Middle East into the ocean to drive up the price and make $$$. You in?
If you can work in the word derivatives, I’m all in.
We got water derivatives out the wazoo. We even have synthetic water derivatives.
Do you have a hedge fund where I can go long on water and also short milk?
Next up to join the commodity list:
Air
Dirt
Children
Fetuses
Women
Uteruses
2 Likes
TSLA is the stupidest fucking thing i’ve ever seen
1 Like
S T O N K S
I’ve never shorted a stonk but if there was ever a time to short, I think it would be the day on (or after?) TSLA gets added to the S&P500. Hopefully I don’t take the time to read up on how to do it and execute though, since i’m probably wrong because stonks only go up
Market cap of $608 billion.
That is roughly the value of JP Morgan Chase and Bank of America, the two largest banks in the country, COMBINED.
Separately, LOL UBER
They’re “selling” their self-driving unit, which they’ve dumped who knows how many billions of dollars into, by…giving it to a competitor along with $400 million of Uber’s money. lolololololol
3 Likes
Good move, selling off the only endgame you have to try to turn a profit.
I already short water most weeks by drinking tap water and probably not enough.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… the instant I understood what Uber was doing in my industry I knew there was no secret sauce. From start to finish the whole deal was about performative startup behavior to fleece Softbank into giving them billions of dollars.
What they are doing in freight brokerage is some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen. It only makes sense from their perspective because my industry generates high gross sales (because of lousy margins ldo).
1 Like
The bros have spoken and this is fine!
News: Uber, having never had a profitable quarter, sells off the only real chance it has at profitability in a deal that gets the CEO a significant stake in the buyer’s company, while injecting $400M for a 26% stake for shareholders.
Meanwhile, Uber is trying to cut costs to find a way to be profitable even as demand is down due to the pandemic.
Bros: Right on, -1.96% from ATH seems fair!
(And it’s trending back up now lol)
Like isn’t the whole idea with something like Uber to have virtually no overhead? Independent contractors use their own cars, you run the app and do background checks, set prices accordingly and profit.
But nah they’re trying to create robocars, a flight service, and get into freight brokerage? Lol
The problem is that Uber had no real network effects. They’re just a taxi company. So instead of getting all the free growth that you get from real network effects they had to spend obscene amounts of money on marketing as they rolled out in these markets.
Combine that with the fact that they have multiple competitors in the ‘just a taxi company but without regulations because it’s an app I guess’ space… and it’s not pretty.
The only argument they had for having ever been a good investment was that they would eventually capture a ton of market share, which they would somehow retain as self driving cars arrived… and they would end up owning a good sized slice of transportation. Of course the problem with that theory is that Uber wasn’t ever a real competitor to be the first to self driving vehicles… and the day someone got the first self driving taxi the app they hooked it up to would have real network effects from control over the supply (robot drivers don’t defect to other companies because they pay more per ride). That company just developed software that can drive a fucking car well enough to be allowed to operate a taxi service. Pretty safe to say they can make a shitty ride matching app themselves without cutting in Uber.
And of course the company most likely to get to real self driving at real scale first is Google. They would just integrate the ability to call a Google taxi into maps. I’m going to guess maps has massively more users than Uber everywhere on earth in every way you can measure it.
2 Likes
Isn’t a fair headline something like “Uber gives up on self-driving cars, and also invests $400 million in an autonomous driving startup?”
Day 1 of undergrad business classes teaches “sustainable competitive advantage.” Like if you are Microsoft and everyone uses Office so its impossible to switch, even to something equally good and free, that’s called a network effect and that helps you make money! Uber, Airbnb, Door Dash, basically every one of these stupid ass unprofitable companies not only loses money but has no way to keep competitors from entering the market the instant they try to raise prices. They are a pure commodity. LOL Softbank and anyone buying shares in these awful companies.