GOP Insanity Containment 2: This is the Place. This is the Time, Cowboy.

The thing that could sell a lot but isn’t being taken advantage of is over-caffeinated tea. $7 coffees are a joke and Starbucks deserves to be dethroned, but it ain’t happening with coffee. Instead, someone needs to push the health benefits of tea, but while sneakily spiking the product with a shit load of caffeine since AFAIK it’s not regulated well at all. That way Karens, hippies, and generally health-conscious-but-not-poor folks can feel better buying their caffeinated beverage somewhere else but are secretly becoming physically addicted to the new hot beverage they enjoy.

Needs a name for the chain tho, nothing great coming to me.

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Teavana was having success, then Starbucks bought and killed it.

Tea UV

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Spiking the caffeine is super important in my business model. I should probably research the legality of that but my gut tells me there’s a lot of latitude due to caffeine not being treated legally like the drug that it absolutely is.

I remember seeing a tweet from a lady who was working remote and would go to Panera during the day to get out of the house. She would get some lemonade drink while she worked and eventually she realized there was a massive amount of caffeine in each drink, like 400 mg or something.

  • Crack Tea
  • Street Tea
  • Street T
  • HotT (pronounced hott)
  • Mr Tea
  • MissT

See You In Tea

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TeaCafe
TeaCaf
CoffTea
CaffTea

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Teas the Season

Mooncoins (got to go as far as you can with logo and styling without getting sued by starbucks for this one)

Teaspensary

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Tea Teas

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I think you should lean in to the right wing grift with a “hyper-masculine” brand, like TEAMAGEDDON -made from liberal tears

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My tea has no pronouns!

Tell the liberals they can have their lattes - TEAMAGEDDON!

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RightTea

“Don’t be a lefty”

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BlitzTEA
TEAKRIEG

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I dont think it needs to be right wing. But Teamagedden is the clear winner here. I’m in to invest.

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a large 30oz “charged” lemonade at Panera Bread has 390mg of caffeine!

just to explain further - there are 3 different lemonade type drinks in one dispenser, 2 of which have a massive amount of caffeine, and the labeling is pretty small and easy to miss.

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Yeah and she would drink a couple a day or something, insane that they’re allowed to put that much in there. Withdrawl after consuming 800 mg of caffeine a day for a while would be real nasty.

I used to do 400 a day and cut down to 200 years ago, 100 in the morning and 100 in the early afternoon.

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The Tea Bag

I even have a great logo.

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Yeah Panera has a drink club thing where you pay like $10-$15 a month for unlimited refills. (Don’t know actual price). Obviously they hope once in a while you buy food too.