Funny Things You Thought Were True But Weren't

This thread is inspired by Will from Chapo Trap House who thought the rain on the wedding in November Rain was acid rain.

I was cracking up because I thought something that stupid when I was a kid. I sincerely thought that Egyptians actually walked like people in “Walk Like An Egyptian” by The Bangles

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I thought Cats in the Cradle was recorded by Cat Stevens but someone (I think SUB himself) set me straight.

LOL, I too remember watching that video as a kid and also thought half of Stephanie Seymour’s face was missing in the casket.

When I was a kid and my dad explained how there was something called evolution that meant that humans used to be apes, I was convinced he used to be a monkey.

We also had a colleague of his from Virginia stay with us, and I was convinced he was The Virginian (from the TV series that I loved) and kept asking him about Trampas.

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I feel like songs shouldn’t count (music videos are fine) because everyone must have dozens of those, like I thought this:

was just a song about there being a rat in some guy’s kitchen and what was he going to about it.

I guess my Dad tried to explain the sun and the moon to me, and I came away from that sincerely believing that if you could somehow throw a stone hard enough to make it travel all the way around the world, it would keep going forever. Like, if it fell short by an inch or two, it would roll to a stop, but once it made it over the line it would just be whizzing around the Earth forever. The only obstacle was that no-one was strong enough to do that.

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Coming in hot as a haddock

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That’s not wrong except for air resistance and having to duck every once in a while.

I feel like it’s majorly wrong in numerous regards lol.

Not sure if these count because I was fairly young.

One time when watching an old western I went to my mother to ask her when the world stopped being black and white. On another occasion I asked her why people agree to be in movies in which they are going to get killed.

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I grew up in NJ and the only time I had gone to another state, I crossed a river. Hudson River going into NY and Delaware River going into PA. One time my family went on a road trip to Ohio and I refused to believe we were in Ohio because we didn’t cross a river between PA and OH.

I also thought A1 sauce was called Al sauce.

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Well this is pretty embarrassing but I used to think life was fair.

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I thought the USA was a representative democracy.

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Up until my early 20’s I thought the S on Superman’s chest was an abstract logo that was everything but the S. Like, that shit was way too obvious and not “super.”

Also, with regard to the film “Rosemary’s Baby.” I swore when Mia Farrow is finally allowed to see the baby that you see the baby’s face and I imagined these menacing demon baby eyes. But you never actually see the baby’s face. (This was apparently a thing)

I don’t think I am alone in this but as a kid I thought alzheimer’s disease was old timer’s disease.

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Not completely wrong.

In earlier Superman stories, the logo was simply an initial for “Superman”, but in the 1978 movie, it became the emblem of the House of El, the family of Superman.

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If this includes things we thought when we were really young, I have a couple funny ones.

When I was 5 I used to want to be a leaf collector. I thought they only worked for 4 weeks out of the year and got to be with their family the rest of the year. I was pretty upset when i found out it was the same people who do trash collection.

A little before that we had an exchange student from Norway living with us for a year. She had a pringles can in her room that she used as a coin and small bills bank. One day I was in the grocery store with my mom and started begging her to “buy money” when I saw the pringles display.

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lol in america #1 thats pretty fucking common.

Yeah was pushed into Catholicism from a super young age. I found it all boring and pointless but my parents (mostly my mother) were pretty serious about it.

Pretty much I’m the only one in my family who is pretty open with their atheism. My sisters are non-believers but kind of feel guilty about it because of our upbringing. So they still have vestigial religion-based beliefs.

Weird, I still do the exact same thing with misled. It’s the only word I’ve ever had this issue with. I pretty much have to read it twice whenever I see it.