I don’t think you’re very likely to get busted for this but I also don’t think this has any upside at all. Getting the bump is way more important than how long ago it occured. In fact getting the lead bump followed by the supervisor bump in that rapid succession is probably more impressive to most readers anyway.
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This is the right take.
What would you assume given these circumstances?
Had my final interview for the job Oct 29. Few days earlier I told them I had another offer and would like to understanding timing of final decision. Was told it should be quick - two finalists were interviewing the same day. A week goes by - nothing. I email hiring manager again stressing I have another offer but they are my first choice. Get a PTO bounceback.
Hiring manager emails back today - they are going through all feedback this week and “hopefully” can give me and answer late this week and early next.
I tried to push them on timing. They know I have another offer. I would think if I was their first choice, they would have said it or communicated more positively.
That was my thought. Keeping me warm while they wait on the other.
I decided to stay at my current employer. I know it could backfire but I feel too confident that it won’t to not take it. It’s my one way out of my current job and I’ll be in a role with way higher upside. I built up a ton of “career equity” here and I’m cashing it in. They would not have jumped through the hoops they did to get me to stay if they didn’t actually want me. Thanks everyone for the opinions and advice. This was probably very anticlimactic.
I just pressed send on a very uncomfortable email.
“ I regret to inform you that I will be withdrawing my acceptance of the position. I understand that the timing of this is not ideal but my situation has changed and I must do what is best for my family and I. I’ve enjoyed my communication with you and the X team and should things shift in the future, I will most certainly keep X in mind. I wish you and X nothing but the best and I appreciate any understanding.
Sincerely,”
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I think you made a good choice, good luck
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Congrats. I too think you made a good choice.
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I’m reminded of possibly my favorite quote in all of literature (from Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being)
“There is no means of testing which decision is better, because there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning.”
Best of luck with everything.
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Love the quote. Appreciate the words everyone!
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GL Tilted.
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Yeah that was a very very strong counter offer. It had strong ‘we can’t replace this person’ vibes going on so I doubt very much they’re going to retaliate or renege. If anything the next time they’re deciding whether to give you or someone else a promotion they’re going to give it to you to be safe.
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They’re probably thinking to themselves “Wow, we dodged a bullet hiring this guy that doesn’t know grammar!”.
But really, the easiest way to remember if it’s I or me is to take out the other object “my family and”, and see which one makes sense. “…must do what is best for I.”, “…must do what is best for me.”
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I think this is almost always the wrong decision, (as you can probably surmise from my earlier posts), but I do hope it works out for you.
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I think it’s most likely you are the second option, but they have a wide range.
Businesses are slow and non responsive for a ton of different reasons. Maybe someone is on leave. Maybe someone forgot the email twice because they are busy. Maybe they are waiting on some kind of internal approval process or administrative step. Maybe theres an internal dependency about structure or people that you dont know about.
Stuff like this is fairly unknowable.
I can understand why you might feel awkward or uncomfortable sending that email, but you shouldn’t feel bad about it. The whole employment market is completely fucked up so that if you never have these uncomfortable moments then you end up underpaid so some sociopath can make a little bit more. Fuck that.
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Yo dawg…couldn’t help myself and responded “lol”
It might actually be that they are very slow. I learned tonight that the hiring manager in Europe reached out to my old boss in US (same company) just today to chat about me. Why that hasn’t happened in the last 3 months, I don’t know, but makes me think they haven’t made a decision yet.
I might have backed myself into a truly f’d up situation. I have resigned from current job, and accepted new job which starts 2 weeks from today. If I am offered Europe job, no way does that all fall into place in the next 2 weeks, and I’d find myself having to resign a job I just started. Ugh.
Since you just started, you can just be really obnoxious on the job and tell everyone to go fuck themselves whenever they ask you how your day is going. Then resign with a letter that says it was the most unfriendly workplace you’ve seen and you can’t imagine staying at this shit job that you regret having taken.
Put it on them.
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Actually one of the least disruptive times to resign from a job is in the first few weeks. People there might be “WTF he just got here” but on the other hand they won’t have really built up any big dependencies on you that early. You can just tell them that it wasn’t what you expected. It’s unusual, but it’s not that bad for them.
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