Biggest Assholes of All Time Draft

[superuberbob]

By picking LUCA, I am picking every single asshole who has ever existed in one single pick

[Danspartan]

But you are also claiming everyone is an asshole?

[superuberbob]

If the human race was a single entity, it’d be the biggest asshole ever.

Honestly, I’m getting a first overall pick with the final pick.

[Danspartan]

As far as the planet is concerned, we are the disease and need to be eradicated. Coronavirus is just the latest tool.

[superuberbob]

Man my pick is better than I thought and I already believed that it was the best pick in this draft.

It might be the best pick in any draft ever.

[MattyLice]

Alright, it’s been 5 days. I ain’t sniping a pick b/c none of you thought of this.

The Manhattan Project. Under the guise of FREEDOM, these motherfuckers created an object that can destroy humanity. An object that we will have to live with for the rest of humanity. BUT JAPAN! Yea, fuck that. We would have kicked their asses either way. Instead, we now live in a world where Little Rocket Man might send a nuke over for shits and giggles. It’s only a matter of time before someone does send one over. GJGE.

Oh and for you that say “Well that’s a group of people. This is an individual award”, I give you Klaus Fuchs. This fucker was involved with the Manhattan Project and worked at the Los Alamos National Laboratory and gave the Russians classified information from not only the US, but other countries as well, such as Canada and Great Britain.

Sounds like an asshole to me.

Oh and by the way, not only did these guys figure out the bomb, they realized that the best way to detonate it was like 3 miles above the Earth and point the energy downward. No sense to letting the bomb blow up at the surface and the ground absorb most of the energy. What’s the fun in that?

[superuberbob]

Wait. Thought this draft was over

[Chuckleslovakian]

@superuberbob

Wait. Thought this draft was over

I think we are on the part of the draft where anyone can just writeup any fucking asshole they want to.

[smrk4]

I owe four write-ups, fak. I really want to write about why I chose St. Augustine, hopefully it drops before the President’s health care plan, which I know is coming on January 19th just in time to start his second term.

[R.C]

did anyone draft the Dulles Brothers?

[nobody]

@Chuckleslovakian

I think we are on the part of the draft where anyone can just writeup any fucking asshole they want to.

Jerry Springer, The Real World creator and whoever created realty TV in the first place.

[LFS]

@nobody

@Chuckleslovakian

I think we are on the part of the draft where anyone can just writeup any fucking asshole they want to.

Jerry Springer, The Real World creator and whoever created realty TV in the first place.

The creators of “Cops” would be a good choice in this genre, and not just because of their role in inspiring reality TV. Although they’re probably not dead.

[anon10387340]

@nobody

Jerry Springer, The Real World creator and whoever created realty TV in the first place.

Jerry Springer unfortunately isn’t dead. (The others are probably not dead either.)

But a nice substitute and kind of a predecessor to Jerry Springer is Morton Downey Jr. What a fucking asshole. And a proper dead asshole.

[superuberbob]

Sidney Gottlieb, coordinator of Project MK-Ultra

Seriously, read Poisoner-in-Chief and tell me that I made a mistake not drafting him.

[CanadaMatt3004]

Isnt Luca still alive?

Chessmate

[Danspartan]

Saw a cops parody on public access way back in the 90s

All seen from the camera point of view

Camera guy is running after the cops. There is a shootout. The camera drops to the ground.

The cops run up and you can see their shoes

Cop1: you idiot you shot the cameraman
Cop2: he was in the line of Fire
Cop1: I think he’s dead
Cop2: fuck
Cop1: what are we going to do
Cop2: the perps ran away there arent any witnesses.
Cop1: let’s hide the body
Cop2: is the camera still running?
Cop1: fuck. Get the tape
Click

[VoteForSocialists]

tons of value just picking up top lieutenants for most of round 1 picks. like this guy, who somehow dabbled in repressions, genocide, AND the development of the atomic bomb. And was a serial rapist and murderer to boot. Undeniably Stalin would not have gone as high up in this draft without Beria.

Lavrentiy Beria

At Beria’s trial in 1953, it became known that he had committed numerous rapes during the years he was NKVD chief.[51] Simon Sebag-Montefiore, a biographer of Stalin, concluded the information “reveals a sexual predator who used his power to indulge himself in obsessive depravity”.[52] After his death, charges of sexual abuse and rape were disputed by people close to him including his wife Nina and his son Sergo.[53]

According to official testimony, in Soviet archives, of Colonel Rafael Semyonovich Sarkisov and Colonel Sardion Nikolaevich Nadaraia – two of Beria’s bodyguards – on warm nights during the war Beria was often driven around Moscow in his limousine. He would point out young women to be taken to his mansion, where wine and a feast awaited them. After dining, Beria would take the women into his soundproofed office and rape them. Beria’s bodyguards reported that their duties included handing each victim a flower bouquet as she left the house. Accepting it implied that the sex had been consensual; refusal would mean arrest. Sarkisov reported that after one woman rejected Beria’s advances and ran out of his office, Sarkisov mistakenly handed her the flowers anyway. The enraged Beria declared, “Now it’s not a bouquet, it’s a wreath! May it rot on your grave!” The NKVD arrested the woman the next day.[52]

Women also submitted to Beria’s sexual advances in exchange for the promise of freedom for imprisoned relatives. In one case, Beria picked up Tatiana Okunevskaya, a well-known Soviet actress, under the pretence of bringing her to perform for the Politburo. Instead he took her to his dacha, where he offered to free her father and grandmother from prison if she submitted. He then raped her, telling her: “Scream or not, it doesn’t matter.” In fact Beria knew that Okunevskaya’s relatives had been executed months earlier. Okunevskaya was arrested shortly afterwards and sentenced to solitary confinement in the Gulag, which she survived.[54]

Stalin expressed distrust of Beria. In one instance, when Stalin learned his daughter Svetlana was alone with Beria at his house, he telephoned her and told her to leave immediately. When Beria complimented Alexander Poskrebyshev’s daughter on her beauty, Poskrebyshev quickly pulled her aside and instructed her, “Don’t ever accept a lift from Beria.”[55] After taking an interest in Marshal of the Soviet Union Kliment Voroshilov’s daughter-in-law during a party at their summer dacha, Beria shadowed their car closely all the way back to the Kremlin, terrifying Voroshilov’s wife.[ citation needed ]

Before and during the war, Beria directed Sarkisov to keep a list of the names and phone numbers of his sexual encounters. Eventually, he ordered Sarkisov to destroy the list as a security risk, but Sarkisov retained a secret copy. When Beria’s fall from power began, Sarkisov passed the list to Viktor Abakumov, the former wartime head of SMERSH and now chief of the MGB – the successor to the NKVD. Abakumov was already aggressively building a case against Beria. Stalin, who was also seeking to undermine Beria, was thrilled by the detailed records kept by Sarkisov, demanding: “Send me everything this asshole writes down!”[54] Sarkisov reported that Beria had contracted syphilis during the war, for which he was secretly treated (a fact Beria later admitted during his interrogation).[56] The Russian government acknowledged Sarkisov’s handwritten list of Beria’s victims in 2003; the victims’ names will be released in 2028.[ citation needed ]

Evidence suggests that Beria murdered some of these women. In the mid 1990s, the skeletal remains of several young women were discovered in the garden of his Moscow villa (now the Tunisian Embassy).[57] According to Martin Sixsmith, in a BBC documentary, “Beria spent his nights having teenagers abducted from the streets and brought here for him to rape. Those who resisted were strangled and buried in his wife’s rose garden.”[58]

The testimony of Sarkisov and Nadaraia has been partially corroborated by Edward Ellis Smith, an American who served in the U.S. embassy in Moscow after the war. According to historian Amy Knight, “Smith noted that Beria’s escapades were common knowledge among embassy personnel because his house was on the same street as a residence for Americans, and those who lived there saw girls brought to Beria’s house late at night in a limousine.”[59]

[superuberbob]

This thread will be bumped the moment Henry Kissinger dies

[LikeClockwork]

[CanadaMatt3004]

I wonder what it must feel like to get stage 4 cancer and know for the remaining time you are alive that millions of people will celebrate your death.