Biggest Assholes of All Time Draft

Kevin Sorbo died?!?!?!

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No, but Risky may have inadvertently killed another pick

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Kirk Cameron is dead?!?!?

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I’m teasing, but I did consider Nietzsche briefly, but I’ve settled on another “philosopher” to fill out my team

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Oh good, Im not the only one going for a diverse roster.

I could pick 30 politicians, but Im not gonna.

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While this next pick can’t compete with the sheer numbers of the earlier selections, I would argue that his combination of cruelty combined with his utter lack of utility makes him, pound for pound, the biggest asshole in this draft so far.

He also reminds me the most of Trump with his vanity and absurdity.

With the 17th pick of the 2020 draft, team FunCrusherPlus selects the most depraved of all the Roman emperors; Caligula.

Write up incoming…

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It’s either that or [redacted].

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Columbus, Pizarro, Leopold easy top3 atm. This is not a body count competition, amoral/immoral psychopath-despots are dime a dozen. Crowd wants blood!

edit: In the old place, SE Death and Destruction draft always brings a smile to my face.

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Come now, my dude would kill people in one of the worst ways possible, often times just because.

What an asshole

Respecting this call for more blood, I’m picking Ivan the Terrible at 20. However, also having a unconventionalist streak in me, I’m picking St. Augustine at 21. Write-ups will take a little time, talk amongst yourselves.

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Nice. Let’s keep it rolling @FuncrusherPlus

Bump for more assholes.

@FuncrusherPlus

Fred Trump

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That was unexpected. @WichitaDM, lets do this

and by @WichitaDM I of course mean @eyebooger

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Actually did have Fred Trump as a possibility later on.

I’ll start writing up my pick now, but will be eating soon. Should have it posted within the next couple hours.

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Am I up? I am ready to pick but can’t do the writeup today.

You come after me I think. EB, Then me and you

I’m not selecting the first US president of this draft, but I’d say he’s the biggest asshole.

Andrew Jackson

This guy is a dick for many reasons even before he got to the presidency, but I’m just going to focus on that part of his life.

Now it’s well known that the political structure in the United States didn’t exactly treat the natives well. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson among others thought that the best way to handle the native tribes was to “civilize” them in the ways of the white man. These civilization steps included the acceptance of Christianity and learning to read and write English. As absurd as these requirements were, some of the natives actually did adopt these customs and became known as the “Five Civilized Tribes” in exchange for being considered largely autonomous from the federal government.

But that wasn’t good enough for my 3rd round pick. These tribes of the southeastern US controlled a lot of very valuable farmland that white settlers could use to grow cash crops, with the (I guess we’ll call it) assistance of some black people that they owned.

So Jackson had an idea: Move the tribes to Oklahoma.

He got the Indian Removal Act (great name, huh?) passed in 1830 and the forced relocation process began. The Cherokee fought this act all the way to the Supreme Court, and even earned a few victories. In response one of these cases (Worcester v Georgia), Jackson’s response was “(Chief Justice) John Marshall has made his decision; now let him enforce it”.

Despite some resistance, such as the Seminole Wars, the relocations continued throughout the 1830s. In what is now known as the Trail of Tears, up to a quarter of these tribes died in their march westward, mostly from disease. Those that survived found the climate of Oklahoma much different from that of their lands they had occupied for centuries and struggled with their agriculture.

And while there’s not a continent-wide admiration for Jackson like there is with Columbus, his name still graces many parts of this country, including a state capital, the largest city in Florida and counties in 21 states. And to this day, he’s still on the fucking $20 bill.

And if any of this didn’t convince you that he’s an asshole, I’ll leave you with one last fact: Andrew Jackson is Donald Trump’s favorite president.

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