Bob thought of Sackler when he sent me his initial list. I thought he might go under the radar and fall to the late 2nd round.
Can confirm. Had Sackler top 5 in my initial list but after that the list started growing and I started learning more about other assholes, he slipped a bit.
Sniping is when the owner immediately before you makes the pick you wanted to make
There’s gonna be some unbelievable value towards the end of this draft
I had the picks listed after me as late 2nd or 3rd round picks. Huge assholes to be sure but this is a world full of far worse people.
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Strategically it’s interesting, because you don’t just have to consider the biggest assholes available, you have to consider whether you think other people rank them similarly. There is going to be lots of potentially first-round asshole talent left in the later rounds.
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There are ample assholes to choose from. Scarcity won’t be a problem.
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Can the OP be updated with current results? Or maybe we do a Google doc.
So many to choose from, but I’m going to make this personal and select a complete piece of shit who unfortunately shares my alma mater. He is a five-tool asshole with global reach and will be the anchor of my team:
- Former investment banker
- Antisemite, anti-Islamic, all-around racist
- Domestic abuser
- Pioneer of the modern conservative tactic of flooding the airwaves with bullshit
- Compared himself to a famous Nazi propagandist
- Promoter of right-wing nationalists in elections worldwide
Steven Kevin Bannon was born in 1953 in Virginia to a working-class pro-union family. After graduating from Virginia Tech in 1976 he joined the Navy, serving as an officer for seven years. He was deployed during the Iran hostage crisis, which he credited with changing his political worldview and turning him into a “huge Reagan admirer” (his words).
After the Navy, Bannon got an MBA from Harvard Business School and joined Goldman Sachs as an investment banker before leaving to launch a media-focused boutique investment bank. One of his early deals got his company a financial stake in five television shows, including Seinfeld. That’s right, every time Seinfeld is aired Steve fucking Bannon receives cash residuals. Keep that in mind next time you watch it.
During this time, Bannon was charged with domestic violence, battery, and dissuading a witness after his second wife accused him of domestic abuse. The charges were dropped when his wife didn’t appear in court, which she later stated was due to threats made to her by Bannon and his lawyer. Bannon also allegedly made antisemitic remarks about his wife’s choice of schools for their children, complaining that there were too many Jews at the school and that Jews raise their children to be “whiny brats.” Unsurprisingly, this wife divorced him (as did his third wife later).
For the next decade or so Bannon was involved in the entertainment industry, including making a 2004 documentary about Ronald Reagan. Publisher and notable asshole Andrew Breitbart later described Bannon as the Leni Riefenstahl of the Tea Party movement, and Bannon once described himself as the “Riefenstahl of George Bush.” That’s right, he favorably compared himself to a literal Nazi propagandist. I assume most here are familiar with Breitbart News, a racist, sexist, xenophobic, antisemitic commentary website. After Breitbart’s passing Bannon took over Breitbart News, declaring the website in 2016 “the platform for the alt-right.”
In 2007 Bannon wrote an outline for a new documentary called Destroying the Great Satan: The Rise of Islamic Facism in America (sic), which claimed that “institutions such as the media, the Jewish community, and government agencies were appeasing jihadists aiming to create an Islamic republic.”
Bannon co-founded the Government Accountability Institute, a tax-exempt think tank known for such quality publications as Clinton Cash. He also served as vice president of the board of Cambridge Analytica, a data-analytics firm which pioneered the use of illegal tactics to target voters during the 2016 election.
Speaking of the 2016 election, Bannon was the chief executive of Trump’s campaign (later becoming chief strategist and senior counselor after the election). Bannon responded to criticisms by saying “Darkness is good: Dick Cheney. Darth Vader. Satan. That’s power.” After a year supporting Trump’s campaign and early presidency, Bannon left in 2017 with the intention of supporting conservative nationalists worldwide and movements like Brexit. The list of organizations that he has supported is fucking insane and I do not have enough time to go into all of them, so I’ll just list some highlights here:
- France’s National Front
- Hungary’s Fidesz
- Italy’s Five Star Movement
- Alternative for Germany
- the UK Independence Party
- Israel’s Likud
- The presidential campaign of Brazilian asshole [UNDRAFTED]
- (Seriously there are at least a dozen others.)
Between his work with Breitbart, his work with Cambridge Analytica, and his work with the campaign itself, Steve Bannon may be the individual most responsible for Donald Trump’s presidency. This alone would make him one of the most influential assholes of our time. The fact that he has since lent his services to right-wing nationalist movements worldwide make him truly one of today’s top assholes, actively working to make the entire world a worse place. Die in a grease fire, Steve. Get complications from COVID, Steve.
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Shit, I completely forgot about him.
Don’t @ me, I know I’m next.
Do we vote on a winner each round or sumthin’? Or participation trophies all around?
The fun is reading (and making) the write-ups imo, but towards the end we will likely debate some power rankings for all-around teams
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I will look at how to make tables itt and then add it to the OP.
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Sniping is where you take someone else’s pick before it’s their turn. There’s no way to know you’re doing that, it’s just fun to make a pick and then see someone lose their shit because that’s who they were going to pick.
It’s okay to wait more than four hours if the middle of the night as I think most participating are USA time zones. Daytime hours are glgl.
If people could call in bids from anywhere it would be way higher.
It’s like a version of Hostel, except instead of eviscerating young tourists, billionaires pay for the privilege of kicking assholes in the balls.
Separate your columns with pipes and your rows with dashes
| col 1 | col 2 | col 3 |
| --- | --- | --- |
| stuff | stuff | stuff |
does this:
| col 1 | col 2 | col 3 |
|---|---|---|
| stuff | stuff | stuff |
Or you can write them in HTML if you know how.
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Thomas Massie may have made one grandstanding attempt at assholery in the House of Representatives recently, but this man has a history of years of Congressional contrarianism. As a silver-haired septuagenarian, he made a quixotic presidential run, fueled by grassroots funding and supported by a rabid band of mostly white, mostly male, internet-savvy Koolaid drinkers who bought into his cult of personality and treated everyone else in the same part as the enemy while whining that the media was against them.
He is a proponent of one of the most insidiously harmful and vile religions known to mankind, by which I mean Austrian economics. His movement was a nexus for white nationalist racism, conspiracy theory hawking, and anti-government sentiment that prefigured the rise of the alt-right. With people like Murray Rothbard and Lew Rockwell, he provided the pseudo-intellectual underpinnings and inspiration for something that has metastasized into one of the bases for Trumpism.
To show that retirement is no impediment to being an asshole, he recently called Anthony Fauci a fearmonger and suggested that the COVID-19 pandemic was a hoax.
In many ways. this pick is about indicting the entire libertarian movement as inherently assholes by picking the most prominent libertarian, whose legacy extends to a future generation of assholes, not just his hell-spawn in the Senate and not just confined to those who can strictly be called libertarian. (The aforementioned Massie, by the way, was endorsed by Ron Paul.)
You could say that this is a very personal pick for me as I am anti-libertarian to my core and have spent decades arguing with his supporters since the '90s. If I were to write a book expounding my political philosophy, it could be credibly titled “Why Libertarians Are Idiots”. Of all the people I have personally met and wished to punch in the face, he has inspired the most, by far. It is this asshole multiplier effect which makes him worthy of a first-round pick, although I suspect this will be seen as a massive reach by some. Even though I suspect I could have waited until the last round, this pick is for my own satisfaction.
With the sixth overall pick in the 2020 Biggest Assholes Alive draft, I choose Ronald Ernest Paul. Maybe Rand can congratulate him by breaking quarantine to give his father a big hug.
@LFS is on the clock.
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Shout out Borodog
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That is the kind of book title and concept that would be easy to sell.
Not first to market, but I would buy it!
The seventh pick in our draft is cartoonishly evil and corrupt. The total body count we can ascribe to his actions is difficult to determine with accuracy, but it is at least in the tens of thousands, and possibly hundreds of thousands. His radical and extreme dedication to authoritarianism touches each of us every day and permanently harmed our country and the world. Also, he shot a guy in the face.
Ladies and gentlemen I give you the 46th Vice President of the United States of America:
Richard Bruce “Dick” Cheney
I’m going to copy the conclusion paragraph from this good article (Remembering Why Americans Loathe Dick Cheney - The Atlantic), which you should read because it runs down all his crimes:
Dick Cheney was a self-aggrandizing criminal who used his knowledge as a Washington insider to subvert both informed public debate about matters of war and peace and to manipulate presidential decisionmaking, sometimes in ways that angered even George W. Bush.
After his early years of public service, he capitalized on connections he made while being paid by taxpayers to earn tens of millions of dollars presiding over Halliburton. While there, he did business with corrupt Arab autocrats, including some in countries that were enemies of the United States. Upon returning to government, he advanced a theory of the executive that is at odds with the intentions of the founders, successfully encouraged the federal government to illegally spy on innocent Americans, passed on to the public false information about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, and became directly complicit in a regime of torture for which he should be in jail.
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