| Asshole Draft | ||
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Superbooger | Donald Trump |
| 2 | Chuckles | Mitch McConnell |
| 3 | CanadaMatt | Sean Hannity |
| 4 | Zikzak | Richard Sackler |
| 5 | Hokie | Steve Bannon |
| 6 | NotBruce | Ron Paul |
| 7 | LFS | Dick Cheney |
| 8 | Tim | Goatse |
| 9 | True North | Rupert Murdoch |
| 10 | Riverman | . |
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Yup, on you for two picks
HYPE
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Trump is a bigger danger to the republic but I honestly can’t decide if he or Cheney is the bigger asshole
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Murdoch is a great pick. Also if any of you non-Muricans railing want to join my team let me know, it’s definitely a weak spot for this draft.
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A shameless cross promotion since no mod has appeared to make a banner
In terms of sheer body count, non-dictator division, this guy has to be near the top of the list.
Despite being born a German Jew in 1923 (evil people NEVER DIE), this unmitigated piece of shit had a career defined by a complete lack of empathy for other human beings.
Absolute first round material here: Henry Kissinger
Lets just skip to 1968. Kissinger, working on behalf of Richard Nixon, deliberately sabotages the Paris Peace Talks in order to prolong the Vietnam War. Then, over the subsequent four years, Kissinger directs massive bombing campaigns throughout Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia, resulting in massive civilian casualties in (at least) the hundreds of thousands, and more than 20,000 additional American deaths.
In addition to Vietnam, Kissinger directed numerous other atrocities, including:
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Providing arms to Pakistani thugs during their ongoing perpetration of a genocide, which Kissinger definitely knew about. At least THREE MILLION DEAD and 400,000 rapes.
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Directed the assassination of Chile’s democratically elected leader, handing power to Pinochet, a mass-murdering dictator.
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Supported Indonesia’s invasion and subsequent occupation of East Timor, resulting in over 100,000 deaths.
I could go on. But why listen to me when you can hear it from Anthony Bourdain!
“Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands. You will never again be able to open a newspaper and read about that treacherous, prevaricating, murderous scumbag sitting down for a nice chat with Charlie Rose or attending some black-tie affair for a new glossy magazine without choking. Witness what Henry did in Cambodia – the fruits of his genius for statesmanship – and you will never understand why he’s not sitting in the dock at The Hague next to Milošević.”
and
“Any journalist who has ever been polite to Henry Kissinger, you know, fuck that person,” he said, his indignation rising. “I’m a big believer in moral gray areas, but, when it comes to that guy, in my view he should not be able to eat at a restaurant in New York.”
Well said.
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Let like not that he runs similar chanels in other countries. The doesn’t even meant completely now.
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Bourdain no longer being with us when Kissinger will seemingly never die is one of life’s great injustices.
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Ugh Riverman I knew you were a risk to snake Kissinger, goddamnit. I thought I could grab Cheney and get Kissinger coming the other way.
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Next pick has been decided upon. Researching / writing now pending my kids’ behavior.
Which kid will be your pick?
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This is fucking great. We need more of these and a list of the results like fantasy sports rags do with mock drafts.
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Sometimes you just have to go best player available.
This individual is a world class scumbag. After being tapped by outgoing leadership in 1999, he was narrowly “elected” in 2000 with 53% of the vote in an election marred by, uh, irregularities. An election monitor said the following: “Given how close the vote was…fraud and abuse of power appear to have been decisive.” And with that, the world was formally introduced to…
Vladimir Putin
I honestly don’t even know where to start with this guy. Mass murderer, kleptocrat, the dude checks all the boxes. A partial summary includes:
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Bombing two large apartment complexes ahead of the aforementioned election to make himself look strong in response (hundreds of dead civilians)
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Invading Crimea (15,000+ dead)
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Supporting UNDRAFTED, who is responsible for the use of chemical weapons on civilians and hundreds of thousands of deaths
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Killing hundreds of political opponents
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Stealing over $100 billion by extorting Russian oligarchs and instituting a national Paulie from Goodfellas “fuck you, pay me” economic policy (including $20 billion from the Sochi Olympics)
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Shooting down a commercial aircraft (Malaysia Flight 17 - 300 dead)
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Massive bigotry campaign against gay Russians
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Got #1 overall pick Donald J. Trump elected.
Without question, a world-class asshole.
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I gathered :(
I was taking Putin next if available.
Should have something in a few minutes.
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In case anyone had him on their list, he is no longer eligible
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One of 3 senators to vote against the congressional insider trading ban. Hyper religious, gay bashing VALUES guy, of course.
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I wasn’t planning on taking another businessman, but I just hate this guy so damn much that I couldn’t help myself.
Also representing his late, unlamented brother David:
Charles Koch
Another libertarian, free-marketeer, “drown the government in a bathtub” billionaire asshole. And if we just left it at that, probably not enough to make the list. But, of course, we’re not just leaving it at that.
Career lowlights:
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Instrumental in creating and funding the Tea Party, a group devoted to burning the government to the ground.
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Led the charge in climate denial, bankrolling a number of groups devoted to creating industry-friendly climate research designed to confuse and muddy public opinion. But only in the interest of science, you understand — certainly not to protect billions in oil money! When the planet becomes a furnace, you’ll have him to thank.
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The money behind the heinous Right to Work laws that have virtually annihilated the labour movement in many states.
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Took the most advantage of the Roberts Court’s reprehensible Citizens United decision to flood politics with dark money, mainly through the astroturfing Americans for Prosperity, to advance their preferred asshole candidates and asshole issues.
Oh, and his father made his money in part by doing business with the Nazis. (Allegedly.)
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