“It’s got to have sex appeal. And a catchy name.”
"$pringfield, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling"
File this one both under “Homer takes on a new career” and “the Simpson family is helpless without Marge.” Although the main reason I picked it is because it’s just jammed with classic bits and lines.
In the midst of an economic downturn, Springfield decides to adopt legalized gambling to drive economic activity. Mr. Burns sees it as a chance to tighten his stranglehold on this dismal town, but pretty quickly devolves into later-years Howard Hughes. Homer gets a job as a dealer, which he’s terrible at (“Uh, let’s see. 18, 27, 35-- dealer bust! Looks like you all win again”). Marge gets addicted to the slots and starts neglecting her home life and responsibilities. Homer, of course, is terrible at said responsibilities, and finally after a couple of failed attempts successfully pulls Marge away. Some highlights:
- The opening filmstrip
- Homer taking Henry Kissinger’s glasses (“No one must know I dropped them in the toilet. Not I, the man who drafted the Paris Peace Accords”)
- “I’ve lived through 12 recessions, 8 panics, and 5 years of McKinleynomics!”
- “Lisa, just because you’re ten feet tall doesn’t mean you can tell me what to do.”
- “At the risk of being unpopular, this reporter places the blame for all this squarely on you, the viewer.”
- Mr. Burns’ flashback to his childhood on the boardwalk (“What was I laughing at? Oh, yes, that crippled Irishman!”)
- The pitches for casinos (especially the Sea Captain)
- “Your lifelong dream was to become a contestant on The Gong Show, and you did it, remember?” “We got more gongs than the breakdancing robot that caught on fire.”
- Otto punching out Gerry Cooney
- Bart starting a treehouse casino
- “I remember that meeting, and I have a photographic memory.”
- Homer arguing with Rain Man
- “We’re required by law to ask every 75 hours. Get her another free drink.”
- “You gotta improvise, Lisa! Cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust… There’s no reason to–” CRUNCH “Let’s go see Mom.”
- “I think you may have a problem.” “I won $60 last night!” “Woo-hoo, problem solved!”
- “BOOGEYMAN!? You nail the windows shut, I’ll get the gun!”
- Robert Goulet playing Bart’s casino (“Your manager says for you to shut up!” “Vera said that? Huh.”)
- “Lisa, your mom still loves you. It’s just that she has a career now. She’s a slot jockey.”
- “Oh, it’s always something, isn’t it? First I have to drive your pregnant mother to the hospital, now this!”
- “We’ll take the Spruce Moose! Hop in!” “But, sir–” click “I said hop in.”
- Homer babbling “Homer, what is it? Slow down.” “Yera gedda ferda redda oura.” “Think before you say each word.”
- “You made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She’s such a trooper.”
- “Maybe I should get some professional help.” “No, no, that’s too expensive! Just don’t do it anymore.”
- “I’m Idaho!”
In conclusion,
