I guess as some sort of platonic ideal, you’re probably not wrong. This was true for the couple I knew that was the most connected (they also ran their own small business together, so pretty much all labor was shared).
I’m not sure how feasible this is for most couples, though. So, some loss of connectedness for greater efficiency make make sense for those people. And despite the loss, they could still be plenty connected.
It may also be possible that maximally sharing tasks is suboptimal and maybe having some separate work is healthier for the relationship.
Totally. In the couples I’ve seen that are most symbiotic, they didn’t start out that way. Not by a longshot. They grew into it, day by day, moment by moment. What marks all of their personalities is openness, and I think that may be what led them to not allow some “inefficiencies” to preordain who (alone) does what.
Absolutely. Everyone needs a private sphere. It wasn’t as if the people I knew worked together. They just kinda did all the house and planning and kid stuff together.
When we bought our current (first) house I told my wife that I wasn’t mowing the lawn. I didn’t care if she did it or we paid someone, but I didn’t want to. So she did it for a summer or two, then we’ve paid someone since then.
She does most of the laundry, but I’ll do an occasional load. I am, though, the official folder of sheets. She is terrible at it.
Asking for email instead of phone number is pretty suspicious and does suggest that you are trying to open up a more secretive line of communication. At work, you don’t want anyone to call you because you want to be able to ignore their emails. Why the fuck would you want to communicate about a kids party over email? Also, have you ever heard of a fucking birthday invitation?
I hate all social interaction and I hate all of my friends, family and acquaintances in the abstract so if it were up to me nothing social would ever happen. I let (force?) my partner handle all the social arrangements so that we can do a normal human amount of socialising. And you know what often when we do something she has helped organised I do end up enjoying myself despite my own weirdness.
All invitations these days are via email. Paperless Post etc. Wedding and bar mitzvahs still sometimes old fashioned paper but not always. Y’all Christians can weigh in on confirmations or whatever else you’re up to.
Someone broke into my wife’s car last night. They stole her laptop and rummaged through the dash. There isn’t anything personal they can use to make my life hell in the car documents right?
Interesting. My view of phone vs email is 180° different from yours
I consider email less potentially nefarious b/c it leaves a paper trail of what was actually said.
Also, even for non-nefarious reasons having a paper trail is good because it allows the person organizing to have a record of the RSVP’s so they have a headcount of who is coming. And, for the guests, most evites let you set reminders and add the event to a electronic calendar with a single click, which makes it easier to remember than if you have to manually enter it in after a phone call.
You can email an invite to everyone at once instead of calling each person individually. So, more efficient (and also less likely to lead to shady convos)
Email is asynchronous, which gives the person receiving the invite a chance to check calendars before responding. If you call, I bet that well over half the time they either don’t even pick up the initial call and the organizer has to call back, or they do pick up but say they have to call back when they get home b/c they can’t remember if little Timmy’s game is in the morning or afternoon that day.
No but a house down the street has one, seems to do a pretty good job. The first couple timed we walked by it with the dogs they were very interested in it
These takes ITT just seems absolutely bonkers to me. I don’t have kids, but if I did, I’d definitely be the one to be the contact person for stuff like that. I’d have no intention of hitting on the mom and my wife would never think that I would.
Am I just naive about this stuff? I really don’t get it.
I have kids. My wife and I have a joint email address for shit like this. But I stand by my statement that 100 percent of men giving that woman a private email address in that situation are hitting on her later. Maybe 99 percent.
I think there’s a big difference between doing work/political / whatever meetings 1 on 1 with other women when you are married versus doing purely social stuff 1 on 1 with other women when you are married.
