God could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and not lose any worshipers.
I am like the most anti-authoritarian person on earth except for two things:
- people unjustifiably parking in handicap spaces
- shitheads with loud trucks/mustangs/motorcycles
these vehicles should all be crushed and melted with the owners in them
Gas powered leaf blowers
Straight to execution
while I’m at it, anything F-150-sized or bigger should require a commercial drivers license and have to pay 10k/year in taxes to be operated inside the city limits
also no vaccine mandate, but if you get jabbed you get exempted from my new oxygen consumption tax (which is indexed to your net worth)
BRAG: Won a poker tournament last night for $1025 (chopped heads-up). Almost first live event since pandemic.
BEAT: Spent the weekend in Laughlin.
VARIANCE: Didn’t know it was bike week, approximately 20,000 Harley-Davidson enthusiasts in town. Much tattoo, very leather.
(Masking effectively 0% )
Thread for anyone not already feeling awful today.
https://twitter.com/chenchenzh/status/1520718632577388544?t=e7Jy9HtqoSok_q-vKHsG3w&s=19
N00bs
https://twitter.com/abba_annabelle/status/1520563083344707584?s=21&t=3yXtvUt8NngjBwEGCJO93g
https://twitter.com/getoffmyhack/status/1520791953926803457?s=21&t=3yXtvUt8NngjBwEGCJO93g
Nancy Pelosi with some poker advice for you guys.
https://twitter.com/i/status/1520799319435231232
Telling Ukrainians currently facing extermination that you can’t fold to a bully while telling Americans we need a strong republican party and writing strongly worded letters about trump’s attempted coup. Thanks nance. Great work.
They’re never going to die. They’ve all been there since the Eisenhower Administration. Go away. Please.
I would’ve guessed Sleater-Kinney but the point is Trump drumming in the background lol
lol apparently Hellmuth went on a live stream and both got run over by recs and pulled a blatant angle shot, what a guy
Scott Adams with an exciting new version of the helicopter joke!
https://twitter.com/pbump/status/1521106708273242113?s=21&t=GsrEemLs3GXetGwzGG5i4Q
I can’t recall the last time Dilbert was funny. Maybe the early 90s.
The list of cartoonists who had the good sense to quit before wearing out their shtick is quite short. Bill Watterson, Gary Larson, maybe Aaron McGruder, and I think that’s about it? Everybody else spends like 40 years milking the same 5 jokes.
I’m not sure what you mean. Today’s Garfield was about how he hates Mondays, which when you think about, is soooooooo true
Did he eat any lasagna?
Right after punting Odie