A well-earned <3 clovis 
1 Like
Can we have more âreal takes from the swingers clubâ to help keep my mind off our impending death?
Ask away
Is it possible to change my username?
More funny or amusing stories, like the previous pot one.
Even if you have to make them up.
1 Like
Is anyone taking minutes at the board meetings?
how about questions about your Poly/open lifestyle? Can you give more detail on how you manage that? what your setup is?
Last year I was at a party and heard some screaming in another room. It wasnât the good kind of screaming so I decided to stop spanking my date who was, incidentally, tied to a cross on the wall, and find our what the commotion was all about.
The other room had a very large bed. Like huge. Double king. Sometimes you need extra space as this isnât the kind of place where only two people need to fit.
I get in the room to witness my very own live rendition of Boratâs fight. Only this time is a heavy guy fighting a super short dude, maybe 5â2. They are both completely naked but not playing around. They are all out swinging. Fists not sex organs!
Me and another guy jump in to break it up. Me naked. Him half naked. It takes us like 60 seconds to pull them apart. By this time I had a bleeding nose and the two guys are bloodied a bit too.
Their two dates are crying and screaming hysterically.
What where they fighting over you ask? Obviously itâs some heated sexual jealously you say.
Nope. Their kids played hockey together and the fat guys kid checked the small guys kid too hard earlier that day which somehow translated to to four middle-aged men wrestling naked in a suburban basement some 5 hours later.
They were all suspended for 6 months.
I felt most bad leaving my date tied up for 10 minutes before I remembered to go free her!
17 Likes
We donât take minutes as its a voluntary club funded by members. Anyone can come to the meetings is they want.
So if no one really talks about fight club so to speak, how do you get new members? I assume you donât advertise like the for profit ones you alluded to earlier.
We are pretty vanilla poly Iâd say. We have been together for 21 years. Not married and poly like 18 of those. We have both had long term secondary partners during that time. Her longest was 6 years. Mine 3 years. Her partner lived with us for 18 months about 10 years ago.
We play with other people several times a month. Sometimes at a club sometimes at home. She is allowed to go to clubs alone. Iâm not. She prefers to be there when Iâm at clubs. When Iâm with a serious secondary partner she is fine with me being alone.
At first we had some jealously. Now there is none unless one of us gets serious with a secondary. Sex itself creates no jealousy. If one of us gets serious with a secondary partner they have to give the other more time and attention as our primary relationship is always, well, primary.
Basically word of mouth but local sex shops know about us and we attend the local sexuality convention sometimes.
With members being so discreet it seems hard to generate a lot of word of mouth, but those other avenues make sense.
I wasnât there for this one but a small party was happening at a local club. This club is in the basement of a big suburban house. You wouldnât know it was there unless you knew it was there.
About 6 people were playing and decided it would be a good idea to go outside and cool off. The backyard is covered by a roof so you canât be seen therefore nobody decided to put on clothes. They all go out chat for a bit then decide to head back in, but waitâŚ
âWe have locked the door. We are all naked and no pockets so no keys and no phonesâ
After about 10 minutes they Rock Paper Scissors for the guy who has to go next door with a lawn chair cover around his waist and ask to borrow a phone! I think the secret club was exposed at that point.
6 Likes
I had to call a locksmith once to have a lock picked to free a guy after his girlfriend locked him to a table but lost the key!
When the guy came he said it wasnât the first time he had to free someone locked during sex.
Moral of the story is your local locksmith might have some good stories!
3 Likes
Yeah but what happened with the locksmith?
4 Likes
Well played sir.
Clovis, if you were at a party with 20 people where the nature of the gathering would allow for and encourage some ribald conversation and was told one of them shared your sexual lifestyle, whatâs the probability you would figure out who it was without directly talking about it?
Clovis needs an AMA
Stories have been great so far