This isn’t helping
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I’m 30 so I am too old to go back to college
And am too old to post in BBVL
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It’s not your age they care about. If you can pay, you’re in.
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I’m sure somewhere out there, there is a cop thinking, “This is exactly why you need to shoot.”
https://twitter.com/LembaniTraveler/status/1398230577543794688
Would be a bad time to flood the motor, or run into another bunch of hippos head on, or a ton of other things that could go wrong.
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Explaining what’s likely a terminal cancer diagnosis to a 90 year old woman who is sweet as can be….
And the first thing she says is, “I’m so sorry that you have to tell people these things.”
That’s a level of kindness that I can’t fathom.
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bloody hell 
My wife has spent her entire career working in geriatric healthcare. People at or over 90 often seem to be very ready to clock out. I hope this woman goes peacefully with all the drugs.
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This is very wise. Also, a related thing I have learned is that you don’t really have to work relentlessly day by day on long term goals. By their nature long term goals are often achieved more by good habits (think auto investing with cheap default funds) instead of continuous relentless focus and action (think daily trading of stocks). So you can kind of set the long term wellness stuff (saving, exercise, healthy eating) on autopilot with good routine habits, and on a daily basis focus on being present and mindful as you describe.
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The great thing about habits is that they don’t cost willpower. The single biggest thing I figured out in my early 30’s that straight up changed my life is treating willpower as an extremely finite resource and optimizing around not using it for anything. Basically it’s something want to leave in reserve for situations where you really need it. Any part of your routine that requires a ton of mental energy to do should be substituted for something almost as good that doesn’t cost willpower.
Just about the only situation where I’m willing to burn willpower on a daily basis on something is when there’s some good behavior I want to turn into a habit… because habits don’t cost willpower you just kind of click whirrr do them on autopilot. That’s what a habit is lol. I also have a mental rule where I only work on one habit at any given time and decide whether I had a successful day or not entirely on the basis of how I executed that new habit I’m trying to build. When it becomes automatic it’s time for a new habit.
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If you’re constantly trying to achieve, you’ll never be content or happy. This is strangely limiting in most lines of work. Extremely driven people always tell themselves they’ll slow down when “x” happens, but they never do and are often miserable.
Michael Lewis wrote a great book on this topic, “The New New Thing.”
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It’s really important to set a trigger where you tell yourself ‘that’s enough I did good today’ and give yourself permission to check out on achievement stuff.
That being said I would argue that everyone is miserable in their 20’s so there’s basically no downside to going pedal to the metal because it sets you up for a wonderful 30’s… you just have to get to a perch where you feel pretty safe and can chill the hell out.
This is also something that is super tough to do if you try to stir up the willpower necessary to do it every single time.
I am lucky because I really like working out. I am basically looking for the opportunity every day to drop work and pick up a dumbbell. My wife has a hard time making time for exercise so she books three personal training sessions per week. Its expensive but its basically the only way she won’t keep putting it off.
Hit me right in the 90s funny bone
I actually don’t mind my 30s. It’s a very different feeling from your 20s where you’re talking shit, gettin drunk, hooking up and not caring about the future. My 30s have been a more wholesome time filled with more meaningful accomplishments than my 20s. They’ve been more professionally fulfilling and involve more mature and pragmatic thinking about your life.
In short, my 20s was a fun diversion in my life and my 30s was my real beginning to adulthood.
I got my Master’s at 32
You are totally right, habits and routines are so powerful. If I have 10 beers in the fridge at the beginning of the week I’ll drink at least 5 that week. If I have 2 beers in the fridge I’ll drink 2. If I want to cut back on my beer consumption its insane for me to buy 10 and then spend all week reminding myself not to drink more than 2.
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WV Trump could be in big trouble.
Yeah 20s was goat. Dropped out of college to play poker for a living, made pretty damn good money, partied all the time at literally the best place on earth, hooked up with chicks way out of my league on the regular, and didn’t have a care in the world. Threesome’s, doing lines of molly of titties, only laying poker like 100 hours a week because at 50 and hour it was plenty. Traveled, went on adventures.
30s had some of that but 30s is when I started dating super shitty women who were narcassists and no fun and I couldn’t parties like I used to plus yeah started to have to plan for my retirement and take life seriously.
My 20s were fucking insane and incredible. I got wild stories for days.
That said early 30s tainted my mom getting sick then covid then having to get a normal job. So we will see what my later 30s is like.
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These alcohol anecdotes feature adorably small quantities.
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For clarity, I in no way relate my drinking to people with serious drinking problems and I hope it didn’t come off that way.
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