2 Likes
Black Orcs make really good blockers and are a key position for a successful Orc team. They are great value which above average strength and high armour, whilst not paying extra for movement and agility that they will rarely use.
I approve the lack of movement, but ‘not paying extra’ sounds like the white man profiting off the black orcs once again.
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Yeah look, the entire fantasy genre has a lot of problematic stuff baked in. Take that up with JRR Tolkein.
Me and Funcrusher might holdout till we get paid. #BOLM.
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The heck is with this lineman crap? I wanna be a cheerleader!
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You guys make 30k more than the linemen! Stop complaining!
The heck is with this lineman crap? I wanna be a cheerleader!
You gotta buy some DLC for orc cheerleaders.
Nice, I approve.
You made me the worst player on the team!
I guess you figured I’m as expendable as the colleges think their players are?
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You knew the risks when you signed up!
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2 Likes
Hell yeah, gimme that Troll money
Yeah you tried to convince us to be the troll
I don’t really understand what’s going on itt, but I know I’m not putting a ball and chain on my nipples.
Listen: having a speedy, agile player on an orc team can be a game changer. You might blitz a QB or you might be a key part of a prevent defense or you might actually catch a forward pass and score a touchdown (lol, this will never, ever happen). You knew the risks when you signed on.
Trolls is expensive, but do you have any idea how hard it is to teach trolls how to play football? And you’re still going to get confused and space out a good percentage of the time.
So, it’s a classic rivalry match on opening day. UP kicks off the ball.
The Armored Marauders inexplicably left a gap in coverage, allowing an unblocked goblin to rush their ball carrier. It didn’t work, Nicholas the goblin got injured and was out for the rest of the game.
Marauders charged up to midfield but couldn’t make further progress. There was a key opportunity near the end of the half as the ball got knocked free. G’goero tried to pick up the loose ball but completely bobbled it, score at the half was 0-0.
2nd half was textbook orc football, Conman and U’ber Bob clear open a running lane and G’goreo walks into the end zone. Then the orcs ran the clock out UP wins, 1-0. Next game, we’re up against some dwarves, who always play smashmouth football.
Star players:
3 Likes
I always knew I could be a 2 way player in the trenches! My HS coach just couldn’t see it. Sure, my explosiveness is what you would expect from someone with an 11 inch vertical & 5th percentile acceleration, and I weighed 140 lbs soaking weight; but he lacked the vision or imagination to gameplan around my skillset. I appreciate you coach Trolly for believing in me.
Oh yeah. I demand a renegotiation of my contract.
Today’s game is another classic rivalry, orcs vs. dwarves. Thin Slicing is out for the game with a pinched nerve, so 000Cooler000 is picked up out of free agency to be the bench warmer.
Right from the kickoff, we’re in trouble. The dwarves have built some kind of steamrolling machine that pushes the line forward, even Canada Matt the troll gets pushed back by this thing.
After a long struggle, the dwarves open up a running lane on the right side, but their steamroller wanders off to beat up orcs on the left side of the field. The AI for this game is just not very good. Then --the orcs get a series of lucky dice rolls and knock the ball loose!
These kinds of opportunities are exactly why we have an agile little goblin on the team; @Nicholasp27 grabs the rock and sprints toward the endzone and…
…and the clock runs out just before he can make it, inches away from a touchdown. It’s 0-0 at the half.
At the start of the second half, the orcs get another break: the refs decide that the steamroller is illegal and it is ejected from the game. Even better, the dwarfs deliver one of the worst kickoffs I’ve ever seen, and the ball lands in midfield. Nicholas pounces on the ball and move it upfield, only to be socked by a dwarf.
Chaos ensues, G’goreo gets the ball and gets sacked. One of the dwarves manages to knock down Canada Matt the troll? Eventually, the goblin gets another opportunity to grab a loose ball and…
TOUCHDOWN! Finally, the little guy has his chance to shine. Orcs kick the ball back
to the dwarves and they come out furiously smashing through the line, injuring a number of orcs. But they’re not fast enough to get to the endzone, game ends with a 1-0 win for UP.
Our next opponents are going to be tricky; it’s a weird team composed of goblins, giant rats, and a troll. They’re almost surely going to pull off some shenanigans.
5 Likes
Just wanted to say that I really admire you guys.
1 Like