You may or may not want to actually listen to the concept as applied to this movie before answering yourself, but the show that inspired this thread has done Alien.
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• Most Rewatchable Scene
Sigourney in that one scene. You know what I mean.
• The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie
You bitch!
• What’s Aged the Best?
Visuals and effects. Looks fantastic for a movie its age.
• What’s Aged the Worst?
Nothing, everything rules.
• The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance
idk what this means
• The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award
Four way tie: Harry Dean Stanton, Sir John Hurt, Ian Holm and Yaphet Fucking Kotto, all the minor characters are “Oh snap, it’s that guy!” guys.
• The “Ruffalo/Hanna/Rubinek/Partridge” Overacting Award
Ion Holm?
• Casting What Ifs
What if Ray Harryhausen instead of H.R. Giger?
• Half-Assed Internet Research
Is there any other kind?
• Probably Unanswerable Questions
Is the movie Outland in the Alien universe?
• Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All Black Remake
Prequel: Heartwarming buddy movie about Harry Dean Stanton and Yaphet Kotto making a living being working class contractor bros.
• Apex Mountain
When Yaphet is all like “I’m all about killing that thing” Hell yeah.
• Who Won the Movie?
Jonsey, obv.
• Picking Nits
None, perfect movie
• The “Den of Thieves Benihana” Award for Scene Stealing Location
The big thing with the eggs.
• The “Great Shot Gordo” Award for Most Cinematic Shot
Opening establishing shots of the film, A+
• The Vincent Chase Award: Are We Sure This Character Is Actually Good at Their Job?
We know for sure Harry Dean Stanton and Yaphet Kotto are slackers, they lie to Ripley and pretend the ship is more damaged than it really is, they whine about their job, they are crap employees. I was basically like these guys at my last job when I was a contractor.
• The “Big Kahuna Burger” Award for Best Use of Food and Drink
Breakfast with my man Sir John Hurt
• The “Butch’s Girlfriend” Award for the Weakest Link in the Film
Veronica Cartwright, why is she even here.
• The “Ron Burgundy Flute” Award for the Best Time for a Pee Break
When they’'re on the colony.
• Is There a Better Title for this Movie?
idk
• The Steven A. Smith Hottest Take Award
Hot Take: Alien Resurrection rules.
• The Teddy KGB Award for the Actor in a Completely Different Movie
idk, HDS in Paris, Texas?
• Hall of Fame Plaque
what?
• Just One Oscar
huh?
• Best Double Feature
Alien/Aliens, duh
• Best Race Horse Name from this Movie
Crew Expendable
• What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?
Cpt. Dallas’s jacket, that drip is incredible.
• The “Andy and Red – Zihuatanejo” Award for What Happens the Next Day?
Man nothing happens for like decades.
• The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson
Do not work as a space contractor, bro. That industry sucks.
• The “Slow Ride” / “Kid Cudi – Pursuit of Happiness” Award for Best Needle Drop
Don’t think there is one.
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Lol this would be pretty good. Would fit perfectly with the new Disney overlords.
If you listen to enough Story Break, instantly breaking stories becomes an instinct.
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Did request so lets go. Rewatched Aliens for the first time in forever a month or so ago. Been a long time since I watched Alien but excited to watch it again here in a day or so.
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I’m saving reading the other responses until after I post this, so any overlap is coincidental (and I’ll probably think it’s cool).
• Most Rewatchable Scene
The obvious answer is the finale, though I’m kind of inclined toward the self-destruct sequence that precedes it. For such a basic practical effect, Ridley Scott’s use of strobelights was really effective in this film.
• The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie
I won’t lie to you about your chances, but…you have my sympathies.
• What’s Aged the Best?
Letting a woman take the lead as the badass hero.
The directorial impulse to build suspense by not showing the alien very often, which can frequently work to greater effect than overexposing it over the course of the film.
The tactical use of tense scenes with no musical score underlying them. Very effective. It’s fucking creepy to know that there’s very likely danger lurking, but no musical cues to confirm it. Like the preceding point, it’s a simple thing but it shows good restraint and instincts.
• What’s Aged the Worst?
Specifically the alien in the chest-bursting scene does look pretty bad. I don’t think the effects look bad in this movie in general, but I can acknowledge that this iconic scene has its magic broken up a little bit by this appearance. It’s honestly probably better-suited to picking nits than this category.
Speaking of the chest-bursting scene: someone starts choking while eating next to Parker, and he somehow doesn’t recognize that something’s wrong? “The food isn’t that bad, baby!” Kind of a dumb line to include as a first reaction.
Another “aged the worst” is passing off Ian Holm as anyone that isn’t a hobbit. Sorry man; you did a great job, but I can’t see anything but Bilbo Baggins.
• The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance
I don’t know; some characters are more minor than others, but all the secondary characters get enough time and development that I’m pretty unconvinced that there’s a Dion Waiters in this film. Maybe the cat? I’ll go with the cat. Cat was used well.
• The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award
Think it’s gotta be Harry Dean Stanton. Prior to Paris, Texas, I’m not sure he had his own name. After that, he probably does. At this point he’s just making appearances like being one of the G-men guarding Frankie Pentangeli in Godfather II.
• The “Ruffalo/Hanna/Rubinek/Partridge” Overacting Award
N/A. Everyone was good, nothing was over the top.
• Casting What Ifs
According to this link, Meryl Streep was the first choice for Ripley, but this was being made in the direct wake of the death of John Cazale, who Streep had been with for a long while. That created Weaver’s break.
I imagine some would say that this was just as well because they can’t imagine Ripley as anyone but Weaver, but let’s face it: it’s Meryl fucking Streep, and she would have been awesome in this, maybe even better than Weaver. Would have been interested to see what it did for the sorts of roles she would have done afterward.
• Probably Unanswerable Questions
I haven’t seen Aliens in so long that I don’t remember the segue between this one and it; it probably answers a fair number of questions.
• Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All Black Remake
Obviously it spawned a bunch of sequels. I’m probably never picking limited series or all-black remake for anything ever, and in this case I can’t see the point in a prequel, so the sequel choice was a good one.
• Apex Mountain
Seems like this is still kind of it for Weaver? She got other high-quality roles (shoutout Ghostbusters), but her run as Ripley is defining.
I’ve still got it as apex mountain for alien movies, as much competition as it has in that category.
No for the supporting actors. Probably a no for Ridley Scott from a status standpoint, even though this is probably his best film.
• Who Won the Movie?
Inclined to go Ridley Scott here. Of all the big-name directors from our lifetimes, Scott is the one who seems to miss the most often, and when he misses he can REALLY miss badly. His legend comes from the really high highs he has achieved, and this is one of those highs that continuously keeps his legend afloat.
• The “Den of Thieves Benihana” Award for Scene Stealing Location
I guess the shuttle? I don’t know.
• The “Great Shot Gordo” Award for Most Cinematic Shot
I hate that streaming services effectively stop you from executing screen-grabs, making it a crapshoot as to whether I can ever get the shot I’m thinking of.
But I think it’s from the strobelight work during the climactic sequence.
• The Vincent Chase Award: Are We Sure This Character Is Actually Good at Their Job?
I’m honestly not sure it applies here. The crew aren’t represented to be particularly competent. Once we know Ash’s motivations, I’d say he was pretty damn good at his job overall, even if he didn’t fully succeed in the end. And Ripley was good at her job.
• The “Big Kahuna Burger” Award for Best Use of Food and Drink
I think the temporary food use right before the chest-bursting might have been the only eating or drinking, I guess not counting Harry Dean Stanton trying to drink the rain or whatever.
• The “Butch’s Girlfriend” Award for the Weakest Link in the Film
What’s the point of that whole bit where two of the characters are being paid partial shares, then try to bargain to get full shares, then just immediately get shot down on the basis that they apparently signed an unconscionable contract that would theoretically take their money away if things got dangerous enough? As far as I can tell, it was in service of nothing. Maybe I’m missing something. But it seems like it could have been lifted out.
• The “Ron Burgundy Flute” Award for the Best Time for a Pee Break
This movie is pretty tight and focused; I don’t think there’s a great time to step out.
• Is There a Better Title for this Movie?
Negative.
• Just One Oscar
Ridley Scott. Shameful that he wasn’t even nominated.
• Best Double Feature
Rather than just going chalk with the sequel, maybe a modern alien movie? I’ll go with Signs. I prefer Nope to Signs, but it’s touching on totally different things; Signs is a theme fit because there’s a more clearly hostile invasion at work.
• Best Race Horse Name from this Movie
Nostromo
• What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?
Ian Holm’s disembodied head.
• The “Andy and Red – Zihuatanejo” Award for What Happens the Next Day?
[category sucks when there’s a sequel]
• The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson
Everyone you deal with on a daily basis might be a droid who is indifferent to your death.
• The “Slow Ride” / “Kid Cudi – Pursuit of Happiness” Award for Best Needle Drop
None exist, and it’s hard to imagine that a needle-drop could have been good in this movie. It has a good score, and it also has a good impulse for using silence in service of atmosphere.
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Nostromo is a great horse name.
I didn’t think about Ian’s disembodied head. Great memorabilia to snatch.
I didn’t know that about Meryl Streep 
It’s a really intriguing thought. Far as I know, she never really took on a role like that. But it’s impossible for me to imagine it being anything but great.
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Listening back to the Alien episode. Bill says, “we’re dipping all the way back into the 1970s. Some people get upset when we do that.” Chris Ryan says, “not this one.” Sean Fennessey chimes in while CR is responding, and with more appropriate force: “fuck those people.”
It’s distressing to hear that they might get negative listener feedback when they go pre-1980, but I suppose if your main feeder into the listener base comes from listeners to the Bill Simmons Podcast…
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Also apparently they forgot that their show is called The Rewatchables, because next up is Manchester By the Sea.
Good enough movie, but I ain’t rewatching that yet, if ever. I’ll just listen to the episode cold and remember whatever I remember.
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lol are there film bros out there who don’t want to see movies from the 1970s?
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I think “film bros” and “casuals who love Bill Simmons and like movies” probably have limited Venn overlap. Simmons himself doesn’t seem like a film bro, and he controls what goes into the feed. Most of what they draw from seems to be stuff that he saw in between his childhood and the end of his college life. I don’t know that I’ve even really heard him acknowledge even seeing a movie pre-Godfather. Except that I think he once mentioned that his parents really talked up Psycho to him, and then he found it boring.
It’s forever the conundrum of this show. Simmons is the best source of entertainment value, but his range is awful. The other two main contributors (Sean Fennessey and Chris Ryan) will happily discuss films from all eras on Fennessey’s podcast, but the Rewatchables has a self-imposed ceiling.
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The last one I listened to (Internal Affairs?), they talked about having an unwatchables month, or more accurately a one-time-and-done month. Manchester By the Sea is a great pick for that month. Great movie, no desire to see it again. I’d also put Uncut Gems in that category. When a Man Loves a Woman is a movie they’ve mentioned a couple of times that might fit, but I actually enjoy it enough to have seen it multiple times.
Semi-related, my favorite part of that episode was when they were talking about a particularly negative category and who they could get for a sponsor (it might have been unwatchables, maybe something else, but a category that no company would want to be attached to), and Craig whips out, “Boeing?”. I was running, and that killed me.
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I remember Bill once floating that they could do Terms of Endearment as part of “sad month.” CR jabbed him with, “Sad month? From the same people who brought you, ‘Wait, that movie made HOW much?’ month.”
I’d rewatch Uncut Gems sometime. Requiem for a Dream is one of the first I think of in terms of being a great movie that I want no further part of.
Anyway, I’m not sure this one goes any further than being a Massachusetts movie and Bill giving preference to those.
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Uncut Gems is a great rewatch.
I wouldn’t call myself a film bro but i watch a decent amount of movies. Unless I want to revist a movie I’ve already seen I’m basically not watching anything made pre 1980. I haven’t seen most of the old classics and have no desire to.
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It’s JUDGEMENT DAY, mfkers! Terminator 2 has arrived.
CATEGORIES
• Most Rewatchable Scene
I’m a big fan of the mental health ward prison break sequence. A bunch of cool blue shots of our heroes and the liquid metal T-1000.
• The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie
“I’ll be back.”
Or
“Come with me if you want to live.”
• What’s Aged the Best?
Arnold has aged the best. He embodied the role in a way no one expected.
• What’s Aged the Worst?
Nothing about this movie has aged poorly. It’s a perfect movie.
• The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance
I don’t think anyone in the movie fits this category. Maybe give it to the actor playing Sarah Connor’s therapist.
• The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award
This guy from Salute Your Shorts.
• The “Ruffalo/Hanna/Rubinek/Partridge” Overacting Award
Give it to little Edward Furlong and his incessant screeching.
• Casting What Ifs
Singers Billy Idol and Blackie Lawless were considered for the role of the T-1000. I love Billy Idol, but that would have been very strange.
Denzel Washington declined the role of Miles Dyson.
• Half-Assed Internet Research
It took a long time before Linda Hamilton was confirmed to return for part 2. I can’t imagine the movie without her.
• Probably Unanswerable Questions
What would have happened if the Terminator hadn’t killed itself? Did they really prevent Judgement Day? If the lesson from part 3 is that they can only delay it, never stop it, doesn’t that mean the T2 Terminator could have stuck around?
• Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All Black Remake
The closest we got to this was Terminator: Genysis recasting the T-1000 with an Asian actor.
• Apex Mountain
Whether you believe this or part 1 is the better movie, I don’t think there’s any question that this was Apex Mountain for the franchise.
• Who Won the Movie?
Arnold won the movie. He’s been coasting on the success of this (and many other great movies).
• Picking Nits
It’s hard to find any nits to pick over this movie.
• The “Den of Thieves Benihana” Award for Scene Stealing Location
The scene showing a bombed out LA after Judgement Day.
• The “Great Shot Gordo” Award for Most Cinematic Shot
I give the Great Shot Gordo award to the nuclear explosion. Eat my mushroom cloud, Oppenheimer.
• The Vincent Chase Award: Are We Sure This Character Is Actually Good at Their Job?
Is Sarah’s psychiatrist any good at his job? He’s so indignant and condescending that it’s easy to judge him a fool. On the other hand, if he really thinks Sarah is delusional…
• The “Big Kahuna Burger” Award for Best Use of Food and Drink
The award goes to John Connor’s foster parents. She cuts up a bunch of vegetables, then gives a nice finish with a bloody carton of milk.
• The “Butch’s Girlfriend” Award for the Weakest Link in the Film
I don’t know if there’s a weak link in this film. Some people might say the middle of the movie sags. They go to Mexico, they’re safe for now from the T-1000, and suddenly we’re not sure what direction the movie will take. Will they continue to run from the T-1000? No, the movie says not only will they not run, they will make an attempt to stop Judgement Day altogether.
• The “Ron Burgundy Flute” Award for the Best Time for a Pee Break
The middle of the movie in Mexico is a great slow time. You won’t miss much except some great character moments.
• Is There a Better Title for this Movie?
No?!
• The Steven A. Smith Hottest Take Award
Some critics said Sarah Conner was a bigger action star character than Ripley from Alien.
• The Teddy KGB Award for the Actor in a Completely Different Movie
Robert Patrick took his performance to Daniel Day Lewis levels of preparation. He became such a fast runner that he could outpace John Connor’s motorcycle, so they had to increase the bike’s speed.
• Hall of Fame Plaque
This deserves to be on James Cameron’s Hall of Fame Plaque. It is among the finest movies he’s ever made, and he’s made a bunch of bangers.
• Just One Oscar
Having said all of that, I don’t know who would get an Oscar for this movie. Was it ready for Best Picture? It would have been up against JFK, Bugsy, The Prince of Tides, Beauty and the Beast, and the Silence of the Lambs.
Only one I can see it being worthy competition to is Silence of the Lambs. The others would not have won against T2.
Let’s give this one Best Picture?!
• Best Double Feature
Watch this either with T1 or his other sequel Aliens.
• Best Race Horse Name from this Movie
Model 101
• What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?
I want that T-800 arm and brain chip.
• The “Andy and Red – Zihuatanejo” Award for What Happens the Next Day?
There’s not a lot to question here except which sequel you take as canon vs forgotten. The story has gotten very muddled.
• The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson
There is no fate but what we make.
• The “Slow Ride” / “Kid Cudi – Pursuit of Happiness” Award for Best Needle Drop
Does this movie have any needle drops? The only real “omg wtf” reveal is when the T-1000 kills John’s foster parents, because stabbing the dad happens off-screen until the camera pans over.
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• Most Rewatchable Scene
When they’re being chased by the T-1000 and he’s turning his arms into pry bars and stuff. Woah.
• The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie
“I’ll be back”, obv
• What’s Aged the Best?
Honestly, visual effects stand up better than they should.
• What’s Aged the Worst?
Dunno holds up well overall
• The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance
Uh, still don’t know what this means.
• The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award
I got nothing
• The “Ruffalo/Hanna/Rubinek/Partridge” Overacting Award
The kid, honestly
• Casting What Ifs
What if we replace Arnold with Jean-Claude?
• Half-Assed Internet Research
huh?
• Probably Unanswerable Questions
None, really. The universe has been over-explained as-is with all the sequels.
• Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All Black Remake
The all-black remake. Why are all the terminators the machines send to kill John Connor black? Did something happen in the future? Are the machines racist? Are you the weirdo for even noticing?
• Apex Mountain
Hospital escape scene, right?
• Who Won the Movie?
Humanity, obv
• Picking Nits
I got nothing
• The “Den of Thieves Benihana” Award for Scene Stealing Location
Steel factory, ofc
• The “Great Shot Gordo” Award for Most Cinematic Shot
Intro sequence, so great
• The Vincent Chase Award: Are We Sure This Character Is Actually Good at Their Job?
Arnold’s one job is to kill the kid but he’s been reprogrammed to do the exact opposite so in a sense he really, really sucks at his job.
• The “Big Kahuna Burger” Award for Best Use of Food and Drink
Was there any
• The “Butch’s Girlfriend” Award for the Weakest Link in the Film
I got nothing
• The “Ron Burgundy Flute” Award for the Best Time for a Pee Break
Don’t think there is one?
• Is There a Better Title for this Movie?
nah, solid title
• The Steven A. Smith Hottest Take Award
• The Teddy KGB Award for the Actor in a Completely Different Movie
• Hall of Fame Plaque
• Just One Oscar
uh, I got nothing
• Best Double Feature
T1/T2 seems too obvious. Gonna go with T2/Predator
• Best Race Horse Name from this Movie
Liquid Metal
• What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?
A skull from a T-800, heck yeah
• The “Andy and Red – Zihuatanejo” Award for What Happens the Next Day?
Damn, the kid probably has to go to school tomorrow or some bullshit.
• The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson
Don’t trust the cops.
• The “Slow Ride” / “Kid Cudi – Pursuit of Happiness” Award for Best Needle Drop
BECAUSE YOUUUUUUUUUU COUUUULD BE MIIIIIIIII-III-IIIIINE…
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• Most Rewatchable Scene
I think Arnold’s re-arrival at the start of the movie where he gets his outfit, bike, and gun may win the prize here. But most of this movie is damn rewatchable.
• The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie
I’ll bookend it with
“What’s wrong with your eyes?”
and
“I know now why you cry.”
The emotional range of the movie lives in those lines.
• What’s Aged the Best?
Given its age, this movie looks amazing. AMAZING. If all I knew was that I’d be watching a nearly 40-year-old movie with a liquid metal droid in a key part, I would be pre-reconciling myself to the fact that it would look dumb. Nope!
The “re-program the villain from part one into the hero” should be absolutely horrible, should feel like the cheapest plot device ever, but it somehow works here.
• What’s Aged the Worst?
The whole Ed Furlong performance. Granted, a teenage boy is basically always going to be annoying and it’s all just a matter of degree, but my primary takeaway from the first time I watched this movie was, “So, the story is that a kid ruins a robot?” Some people are undoubtedly charmed by him teaching Arnold these SUPER COOL catch phrases. Me? I want to puke at how annoying that sequence is.
• The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance
I’m not sure I can think of one? Interested to read others’.
• The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award
I mean he plays a big part here obviously, but I had to look up Robert Patrick’s name even though I know him from way more things than just T2. So I guess that’s my vote.
• The “Ruffalo/Hanna/Rubinek/Partridge” Overacting Award
Linda Hamilton really has to go into crazy overdrive on a number of occasions here, so under the Simmons interpretation she seems like the clear winner.
• Casting What Ifs
This would go back to the original casting in the first movie of the franchise obviously, but according to the Blank Check podcast, Julia Louis-Dreyfus was the alternate to Linda Hamilton for Sarah Connor. In a vacuum, I’d love to see it. But since we know the direction JLD’s career took, I don’t want to lose any of it, and therefore I’m glad they went Hamilton. She was obviously great.
• Half-Assed Internet Research
Linda Hamilton has an identical twin who was used at times in this movie.
• Probably Unanswerable Questions
Part of a franchise, answers things…moving along.
• Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All Black Remake
Also N/A because of franchise placement and because I’m never picking series or all-black remake.
• Apex Mountain
Seems like a yes for Arnold? At least in acting. He was Governor of California. Has to be yes for Linda Hamilton. No for Cameron.
• Who Won the Movie?
Cameron. I mean, it’s usually the director. But part of it being Hamilton’s and Arnold’s acting apexes is that this movie did not launch them into a higher place. Arnold settled into comedies and lesser action movies, and I’m not entirely sure what Hamilton did.
• Picking Nits
Arnold plainly disobeys John Connor’s order at first by resisting his efforts to steer them toward John’s mother, before then informing him that he has a directive to follow all of his orders, and then begins following them all. His own hard-wiring fails at the very first conflict.
• The “Den of Thieves Benihana” Award for Scene Stealing Location
The biker bar.
• The “Great Shot Gordo” Award for Most Cinematic Shot
• The “Butch’s Girlfriend” Award for the Weakest Link in the Film
Ed Furlong.
• Is There a Better Title for this Movie?
no
• The Steven A. Smith Hottest Take Award
All of the catch phrases are fucking awful. “Hasta la vista, baby” is the scourge of the earth.
• Just One Oscar
Cameron, but abduct him beforehand so he can’t give an embarrassing speech like his Titanic speech.
• Best Double Feature
Dead Reckoning because of the thematic throughline of the machines taking over.
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Lol that would have been great.
Lol!!!
That is the actual plot of the TV show Sarah Connor Chronicles.
Fuck me, Jean-Claude should have been the cop, that would have owned so hard.
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