The prophecy has been fulfilled
PSA: apparently Risky Business is the next Rewatchables dropping tonight. I thought they’d already done that one, but I guess not. It’s on Paramount in the US.
(It’s outside of what we’re doing here, but I figure this might be the thread with a higher percentage of people who might follow that podcast, so I’ll just drop advance announcements in here when I see them if people are interested.)
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I re-watched Road House since I saw it pop up as a Rewatchables episode (haven’t listened yet, but am looking forward to Kyle Brandt especially). But that movie, whooooooo boy. I remembered it as a fun movie about a bouncer who cleans up a sketchy bar and falls in love, kind of like a Cocktail-type vibe. I told my wife, “This is a great 80s movie, let’s watch it as a family.” And it went from “Hmmm, this isn’t really family appropriate” to “Holy shit this is a very bad movie” to “OMG this last 30 minutes is almost literally a remake of the Commando finale.”
Just a wild trip.
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I’ve not seen this movie (it’s on Prime) and I’m kind of tempted to watch it purely on the basis that CR publicly logging it tonight makes me think it’s next.
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It’s about damn time. They sing that movies praises.
I was really into this for the first hour+. Then it got pretty stupid during the back half. I guess it’s still decent? Looking forward to the podcast anyway.
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I’m watching this right now and am in the back half. It’s definitely getting stupid and I’m struggling to call this rewatchable even with a pretty stacked cast. (Nancy Travis!)
Only thing to add is that Andy Garcia’s hair is terrible.
Edit: lol this got measurably dumber in the time it took to post this.
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Gere goes from being a good dirty cop to being an absurd cartoon character at some point along the way. It’s wild to see just how badly it goes off the rails.
I assume they’re covering it because they love it, but there’s no shortage of absurdity for them to make fun of.
I doubt this will be a Van Lathan episode, but I did have the thought midway through that he would be perfect for it in some ways. Van has that special touch where he can defend terrible male characters and have the take be hilarious no matter how wrong it is.
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I approve of my wrongness.
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It’s time for…ALIEN!!1!!!1
CATEGORIES
• Most Rewatchable Scene
Gotta be the chest burster scene. Word is that the actors didn’t know what exactly was going to happen, so their shock and fear is real.
• The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie
[Ripley has tried to disengage the Nostromo’s self-destruct sequence]
Ripley: Mother! I’ve turned the cooling unit back on. Mother!
Mother: The ship will automatically destruct in T minus five minutes.
Ripley: You… BITCH!
[smashes computer monitor with flamethrower]
• What’s Aged the Best?
Xenomorph special effects. The thing still looks real and terrifying.
• What’s Aged the Worst?
The franchise itself has aged damn poorly. Though there is lots to love about Alien 3 and Resurrection, every new installment never comes close to the heights of Alien and Aliens.
• The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance
I give it to Veronica Cartwright as Lambert, one of the only women on board the ship. Half-assed internet research reveals this character is actually a trans woman.
• The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award
This one is hard to knock since the movie came out several years before I was born, but I think the award has to go to either Yaphet Kotto, who had just appeared as the villain in a Bond movie, or to Harry Dean Stanton, who is a character actor who always makes me go oh hey it’s that guy!
• The “Ruffalo/Hanna/Rubinek/Partridge” Overacting Award
Can we give this to the xenomorph? Come on, close that mouth for a second.
In all seriousness, I think it goes to Ian Holmes, who is a marvelous character actor and does a great job in Alien, but is also chewing some scenery.
• Casting What Ifs
I didn’t see any strong alternate casting possibilities. The thing to note about the cast we got is that the script was written so that every character could be played by a man, woman, or non-binary person, so it would have been easy for the cast we got to be very different but just as deliberately switched between genders.
• Half-Assed Internet Research
Half-assed internet research shows that Lambert and Captain Dallas are both trans characters.
• Probably Unanswerable Questions
What would have happened if the Company had managed to kill the crew and get the xenomorph for research? Suvey says things would have gotten bad fast.
• Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All Black Remake
We’ve gotten plenty of sequels and prequels that show this franchise is missing what made the first movie great. The intergalactic nature of the world building means we could get a great limited series or all black remake, though I’d wonder how they’d stretch a good Alien series into seven hour-long episodes.
• Apex Mountain
Many would argue this is the apex mountain for the xenomorph and the franchise, though many would also say Aliens is either as good or a close second.
• Who Won the Movie?
Ripley!
• Picking Nits
Would Ripley really go back for a cat?
• The “Den of Thieves Benihana” Award for Scene Stealing Location
This award goes to the field of xenomorph eggs where they first discover the alien.
• The “Great Shot Gordo” Award for Most Cinematic Shot
Iconic. Just iconic.
• The Vincent Chase Award: Are We Sure This Character Is Actually Good at Their Job?
• The “Big Kahuna Burger” Award for Best Use of Food and Drink
Best use of food or drink comes once again from the chest burster scene. Notice how calm and confident the scene feels as he piles his plate full of food.
• The “Butch’s Girlfriend” Award for the Weakest Link in the Film
I love cats, but Jones is the weakest link. Constantly screeching and running away. I need the fur baby to be like my dog and come jumping into my arms, not leading me to certain death.
• The “Ron Burgundy Flute” Award for the Best Time for a Pee Break
I’m not sure there’s a good time to pee in this movie outside of the very first opening scenes. Maybe go while they’re first examining the face hugger while Kane is in a coma.
• Is There a Better Title for this Movie?
Absolutely not.
• The Steven A. Smith Hottest Take Award
Virtually every Alien movie after Aliens has not justified continuing the series. The worst were the Aliens vs Predators movie. If only those had been good.
Hottest take that’s not mine comes from all of the critics who gave the movie a mixed or negative review when it first came out.
• The Teddy KGB Award for the Actor in a Completely Different Movie
John Hurt’s performance as Kane puts him in a completely different movie. He’s a central part of the movie. If he doesn’t work, the movie doesn’t work.
• Hall of Fame Plaque
Hall of Fame plaque for Sigourney Weaver movies. She’s been in a bunch of bangers, but not all of them presenting her as such an inspiring hero.
• Just One Oscar
Alien won the 1980 Academy Award for Best Visual Effects and was also nominated for Best Art Direction
• Best Double Feature
Alien and Aliens LDO
• Best Race Horse Name from this Movie
And it’s XENOMORPH by a nose!
• What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?
I’d want the little alien worm that bursts out of Kane’s chest.
• The “Andy and Red – Zihuatanejo” Award for What Happens the Next Day?
We are going to find out what happens the next day with Alien: Romulus, which takes place between Alien and Aliens while Ripley was in hypersleep. I suspect they are following the storyline of the video game where the main character is Ripley’s relative, I think her daughter? That would be awesome as it would let them use the “RIPLEY!” line again.
• The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson
No matter how suicidal it may seem, there’s always time to go searching for the cat.
• The “Slow Ride” / “Kid Cudi – Pursuit of Happiness” Award for Best Needle Drop
When the alien reveals itself in the final moments from its hiding place.
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[cough]
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Sorry! Spur of the moment. Our next movie is… not the new Road House.
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It’s cool, of course. I just imagine with a few days of lead time on these, I’d be more likely to watch before the discussion begins and then participate timely instead of frantically trying to catch up (or not, if I end up feeling like I fell too far behind and missed the moment).
And yeah, I’m definitely reading the tea leaves about the new Road House and skipping it.
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Let’s do a James Cameron double feature next with Aliens and T2.
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I actually did just watch T2 within the past couple of weeks. That one I’m ready for.
I’ll work on Alien and Aliens. Those have been on my radar independently for rewatch anyway.
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Fuck me, Alien is maybe my favorite movie, how do I play this game?
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Just copy the categories from the OP and insert your answers
CATEGORIES
• Most Rewatchable Scene
• The Neil McCauley “A Book about Metals” Award for Best Line from the Movie
• What’s Aged the Best?
• What’s Aged the Worst?
• The Dion Waiters Award for Best Heat Check Performance
• The Joey Pants “That Guy” Award
• The “Ruffalo/Hanna/Rubinek/Partridge” Overacting Award
• Casting What Ifs
• Half-Assed Internet Research
• Probably Unanswerable Questions
• Sequel, Prequel, Limited Series, or All Black Remake
• Apex Mountain
• Who Won the Movie?
• Picking Nits
• The “Den of Thieves Benihana” Award for Scene Stealing Location
• The “Great Shot Gordo” Award for Most Cinematic Shot
• The Vincent Chase Award: Are We Sure This Character Is Actually Good at Their Job?
• The “Big Kahuna Burger” Award for Best Use of Food and Drink
• The “Butch’s Girlfriend” Award for the Weakest Link in the Film
• The “Ron Burgundy Flute” Award for the Best Time for a Pee Break
• Is There a Better Title for this Movie?
• The Steven A. Smith Hottest Take Award
• The Teddy KGB Award for the Actor in a Completely Different Movie
• Hall of Fame Plaque
• Just One Oscar
• Best Double Feature
• Best Race Horse Name from this Movie
• What Piece of Memorabilia Would You Want From This Movie?
• The “Andy and Red – Zihuatanejo” Award for What Happens the Next Day?
• The Coach Finstock Award for Best Life Lesson
• The “Slow Ride” / “Kid Cudi – Pursuit of Happiness” Award for Best Needle Drop