Oh he was definitely talking out of his ass. There’s no way he actually wants that job. Matt Gaetz doesn’t want to do legal work. This makes it even more hilarious. He was just spouting off some bullshit over a year ago trying to suck daddy off, and daddy remembered that.
I remember in what feels like a century ago, donald trump doesn’t actually want to be president was a bullshit take people had for a long time
gaetz absolutely wants to be AG
no he doesn’t want to do work, but he wants the position
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Whoever wrote this market should really have clarified this. I’d guess you’re right, but I wouldn’t be shocked at all to see the UMA resolution go the other way.
https://x.com/JakeSherman/status/1856859774211563535?t=vZzVPvdZ2gU_rFsuLHcLaA&s=19
Seems plausible this is a troll nomination to squelch any Congressional report. There will probably be a new nomination in a month.
Kevin McCarthy, I assume. But honestly, now that we’re in full-time calvinball, I don’t think anyone is out of reach.
Kylie Minogue for her Locomotion cover
Karl Malone for obvious reasons
Kelly McGillis for not participating in Top Gun: Maverick (not her fault - she wasn’t asked)
Kevin McHale for being an annoying Boston Celtic
Ken Mattingly for getting exposed to measles and not being on Apollo 13
Ken Marino for being too awesome on MTV’s The State
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed for, um, plotting 9/11. (This would be deserved imo)
Kellie Martin for not really doing anything after Life Goes On
Kevin Murphy (the USC economist, not the UChicago economist)
Kate Mara because I always get her mixed up with her sister Rooney
Kate McKinnon for that Hallelujah performance on SNL after Hillary lost the 2016 election
really there are too many to guess. (Would be super funny if it were my wife, but that’s probably not it.)
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Lauren Boebert for Secretary of Education is making the rumor rounds. If they’re doing troll nominations that would certainly fit the bill.
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I mean, if they’re going to treat this as a giant goof, then I think we’re in the top 5% of possible outcomes. Sure, put Boebert in charge of DoE. Put MTG in charge of HHS and mandate crossfit for everyone. Consider me well and truly pwned.
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They can’t lose any more house members. They can’t lose the three they already lost.
He’s kinda “sex trafficked teenaged girls” evil
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I mean, if I’m a Dem Senator on the committee considering his confirmation, we are talking about nothing but that I will not yield my time
Gaetz for AG is the most epic troll in human history. I honestly almost like Trump for how insanely brazen of a fuck you this is to the system.
Then I remember he likes to fuck kids. Dammit
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Apparently it’s Kulkin, Macaulay.
yeah, Kevin McCarthy
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they’re definitely gonna try the recess appointments for all of them all at once
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Popehat says it with more elegance:
It is not implausible that something useless and annoying, generally an impediment to humanity, could save us. I speak, of course, of human frailty.
Are we not routinely saved from disaster by our most petty and regrettable human qualities, which seem to serve no purpose? How would World War II have turned out if Hitler were not a monomaniac who invaded Russia? Would the Germans have been able to plunge far into the Russian heartland — thus tying up vast quantities of men and materiel on the Eastern Front — if Stalin hadn’t been an egotist refusing to believe that Hitler would betray him? Would Nixon have fallen if he were not paranoid and resentful? Are not Bond villains routinely thwarted by their tendency to boast about their sinister schemes? Am I not routinely distracted from picking stupid online fights by sloth, gluttony, and occasionally lust?
So: in a month with few bright spots, here is a glimmer of hope: Team Trump’s most human failings may thwart some of their most evil plans.
Take, for instance, appointing Representative Matt Gaetz to be the Attorney General of the United States. If this is a sincere appointment — in other words, if it isn’t a head-fake to get the Senate to accept another candidate later, or a ruse to let Gaetz resign from Congress and avoid a damaging ethics report1 — it’s an example of self-indulgence thwarting malign intent. Gaetz is a buffoon. He has absolutely no qualifications to run the Department of Justice. Can he wander around firing everyone? Yes. Does he understand how the Department of Justice works in a way that would allow him to maximize its potential for abuse? No. Is he smart enough to figure it out? Also no. Is he charismatic enough to persuade insiders to help him use it effectively? Very much no. Gaetz as Attorney General will do petty, flamboyant, stupid things in clumsy ways. Some of those things will be very bad. But clown shoes are preferable to jackboots. We’d be in much more trouble if someone evil in a smart and competent way who understands how the machine works — say, Jeff Clark or Ken Paxton — took over. That would be terrifying.
Trump’s decision shows his tendency to vent his spleen. Appointing Gaetz owns the libs, humiliates the hated Justice Department, elevates someone who is a vulgar elbow-thrower like him, and is a thumb in the eye to the Republicans who hate Gaetz. It’s not a decision reflecting self-control; it’s a decision reflecting unconstrained anger and resentment. It’s like making your horse a Senator. The point isn’t that the horse will vote the way you want it to. The point is to humiliate the senate and show them you can do what you want. It’s bad, but it’s not smart bad.
Many of Trump’s appointments so far seem to be made out of frailty and not out of calculation. Kristi Noem at Homeland Security is a lightweight whose dubious competence will interfere with plans to genocide immigrants. Pete Hegseth’s chief qualification to be Secretary of Defense is that Trump saw him on the teevee a lot and his tattoos are not, technically, Nazi symbols. Mike Huckabee is a wholly owned trademark of Jack Chick Enterprises Inc. All of these people are ostentatiously evil and shame the institutions they will lead and are a disgrace to the Republic and so forth but do they have the skills or patience to achieve their weird goals? Institutions are very difficult to change. The populist sentiment “send in an outsider and have them clean house” requires an outsider smart and disciplined enough to overcome the fact they don’t understand what they’re changing. Otherwise the inside stubbornly and passive-aggressively thwarts the outsider. You can burn the institution to the ground but that doesn’t leave you with an institution you can use effectively as a weapon.
Trump’s choice of all of these people reflects his resentments and pathologies and insecurities and those of his closest advisors. Plus these nominees all have their own issues. Do you think Matt Gaetz is going to work the hours necessary to not just learn DoJ but run it in detail? All of the interns are college graduates. Does Kristi Noem strike you as someone who handles stress well? Does war crimes enthusiast Pete Hegseth have the people skills to manage the viper’s nest that’s the Pentagon?
Trump’s laziness, poor attention span, tendency to be distracted by petty grievances and threats to his ego, and total lack of loyalty to anyone will be impediments to his agenda. The people he picks tend to be a grab bag of personality disorders who squabble and fight for power, he tends to screw them over when they annoy him, and they’re all quite annoying.
I’m not saying that things won’t be bad. As I’ve said recently, I expect things to be very bad for a long time, possibly a generation, as a result of America’s choice. What I am saying is that perhaps they will not be as bad as they could be because God, in His wisdom, has chosen to make these people weird freaks along the way to letting them run the place. This is a time to cherish every hope and embrace every ally. Trump and Trumpists are dysfunctional weirdos and that fact is our ally. Cold comfort is still comfort.
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None of that makes sense. What jurisdiction? What kind of damage? If it’s damaging info, there’s no reason they couldn’t still release it regardless of whether he’s in Congress or not, especially if it’s criminal shit.