I’m too angry. I need love! Join me, help me. I intend to stay inspired and not relapse into despair.
We love itt. We share our daily interactions with others itt, and focus on the positive. We aspire to go out on a limb, get out of our comfort zones and into a more vulnerable, real space. Being angry is comfortable, and not just for me lol
My bro and I had a text exchange earlier today. We were in disagreement about something, and I had to cut the chat short for work. He said, “I love you, bro,” and it hit me how when I get singularly focused on some bullshit, I miss what’s important. I almost teared-up then, and now typing it.
I’m sorry for being a pretentious jerk dillweed. My hurtful posts damage me. You guys are mostly lol all mature adults, and see my behavior for what it is, so this is just gratuitous acknowledgement of that fact.
Like the guy described by Steve Buscemi’s character in Con Air, “He’s so angry, moments of levity actually cause him pain.”
It’s not nearly that bad, but the fact that I’ve had that line committed to memory for so many years, means it resonates for me.
We are all under a lot of strain nowadays and many of us are guilty of overreacting to things that in days of yore might have just seen us calling someone an asshole and moving on instead.
EDIT: I take that back you asshole - you voted for The Rain Song instead of Nobody’s Fault But Mine
Did 3 jobs between 11 a.m. and 6 p.m. Then there was a lull that allowed me to have dinner at me folks. Had salmon, half a small, lean pork chop, and cucumber, cauliflower and corn salad.
Got dispatched to a job a little after dinner, and had to pee once there, so that’s good, considering I stay max-hydrated in this heat. Sometimes I’ll sweat everything out and not have to pee.
So, hydrated and after dinner, got on the scale an hour ago, and weighed in at 229. So that’s my benchmark starting weight. Expect it to be lower in the morning, even if I can’t resist having a snack at some point.
woot woot. my inner monologue today was often negative, owing to my ingrained thought patterns and moments of frustration behind the wheel, traveling from job to job. Even at dinner, I was a bit aggressive in some of my comments lol. My sis and her family had driven from DC and spent 5 weeks at the folks, and my Mom was lamenting how my sister had basically thrown away stuff that my Mom felt she still needed: a bowl Mom used to mix haroset in particular. I said something stupid like, “Mom, you’re the head of this household. Do not let ‘Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong’ dictate things.” lol
Anyway, I was always aware of my mood, and conscious of the need to improve my inner voice throughout the day, and pretty immediately several times when I was having bad thoughts. It’s gonna be a struggle of course. Decades of thought patterns aren’t easy to repair. I need psychedelics maybe!
'Bout to start my work shift… out of the shower and on to the scale … 225. And I pretty much had a cheat meal last night, too, so that’s good lol.
Work was slow yesterday, so had a chance to eat lunch at the shop and visit with one of my supervisors lmao. We had fun. Then my ‘team-lead,’ who’s another great guy came by and had a laugh. Supervisor said we are having a deep dive into Riv lol goofy
anyway, here’s a photo from a few days back. Saturday iirc… me and a coworker… additional reference point. Oh and there’s a video in the golf thread from a few weeks back that showcases my exquisite golf swing, exquisite cubic zirconia, and my flabulous body at that time.
you’re thinking of my brother. He moved out to Central Missouri at one point, in order to date some gal. He ended up working at some Tyson pig processing plant for a spell, and loooooooooool 1 photo I saw of him. He had assimilated into that environment like a boss. a boss with a mississippi mudflap
mmmmm ok. special order, substituting mushroom for chicken… normally a jalapeno chicken dish. no longer. trying to eat less meat. I’ve been going to this chinese place for years, so they took care of me.
I worked an abbreviated shift today and then golfed Goat
met a kindred spirit in one customer. Old lady, half a hoarder. She was thrilled just to have someone to talk to. She inquired on my progress replacing her tub spout, and I’m all, “I should’ve been done 5 minutes ago, but I made a miscalculation with my math. Measure once, cut twice.”
then we got talking lmao and I told her I was getting old, and my memory isn’t as sharp. I told her I’d recently started smoking a little weed and did a google search on how it effects memory lol
she said she went to Cali once to buy acid.
she tipped me a crisp 50$ bill. straight cashe homie
