If trans people overwhelmingly find that it’s a signal of being an ally that is sufficient. Shame on me for trying to project my dumb insecurities regarding social customs onto others.
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Serious question. Has anyone come across someone who prefers a combination like this in real life (i.e., something other than he/him, she/her, or they/them)?
The closest I’ve come is someone who uses both she/her and they/them. But that’s not one of each.
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I think the whole idea of giving both the subject/object pronouns is mostly to cover the xe type situations where people legit might need to know two words they’re not familiar with at all, and in other cases just makes it clear what it even means. Otherwise if my email sig just says “Joe Schmo, he” then some people will be like “what’s the H.E. department?”
Yes I have seen she/they.
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And it wasn’t a troll?
Not a troll. I think the younger generation just uses “they” as either plural or singular so it isn’t that weird. She/they is pretty much the same as she/her, or at least that’s my guess.
I feel like that’s different then, it’s not mixing the subj/obj pronouns, it’s the person saying they’re ok with either set (really it’s just shorthand for she/her/they/them).
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It sounds like you’re saying they use she/they because they suck at speaking English.
Would they take offense at “her” and correct you? That’s what I’m looking for.
Also as gman points out she/they isn’t the same as she/them.
Using “they” as a singular pronoun is not a sign you suck at English. You’re about 10 years out of date.
I don’t think she would be offended at “her” but not really sure. I just use people’s names as much as possible heh.
Well obviously when a trans person uses as a singular pronoun, that’s fine. But that’s only because it’s the best we’ve got (and some of the newer terms people use haven’t become widespread yet). There are some other limited uses I can think of that are probably fine. But it’s generally a plural pronoun. No one says “they is”. At least no one that doesn’t suck at English.
You don’t talk to many young people, I take it. “They are coming over” is a perfectly acceptable way to say my cis sister is on her way.
As a reformed grammar prescriptivist my self, I get your instinct, but it’s wrong. We lost this battle.
Yeah, I definitely don’t talk to many young people. If someone said that, my first thought would be, “Wait, who is coming with her?”
“She is coming over” ought to be standard in this situation. “They” sounds super wrong there. But maybe it’s just me.
I’ve always considered myself both a he and a they for as long as I can remember. I pass as extremely male so I’ve rarely expressed it outwardly but if I was a forced to display my pronouns I’d probably put both. Always more comfortable considering myself a singular than any particular gender but 99.9% of people would assume I’m a dude or that I was trolling.
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She/They doesn’t count. I’m looking for she/them.
No, he’s just not correct. They/their has become an acceptable substitute for the phrases “he or she”/“his or her”. It has not become an acceptable substitute for singular pronouns when the gender of the person you’re talking about is known.
Also if you are using as a singular presumably it should be “they is coming over”.
Sincere question. What if I really do not care how someone refers to me? Like at all. I have no preference.
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try this stuff in Hebrew, where every action is gender specific.
Yes, exactly that. If it never occurs, then it ought to suffice to say, “My pronoun is he” (or whatever the case may be).
People who like she/her and they/them do exist, but they say all four or, like Halsey, they say she/they. I’ve never encountered a she/them in the wild.