The Confederacy of Donald J. Trump: A Confederacy of Dunces

joe biden has the massive heart of an elephant. the tremendous footprints of, an elephant. the huge brain of an elephant. the strong durable skin of… an elephant. and don’t even get me started on his nose, his nose is so unbelievably long and powerful, like that of an anteater

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This joke is probably one level too high for me. Who the fuck is sleeping with Florida Man on the reg? Nothing is worth that.

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Bowels of an emu!

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“Stamina of a zebra” WTF this dude might be trolling. Melania “heart of gold” lol cmon

I think zebras are just notoriously shitty animals, like people tried to domesticate them repeatedly but they just gave up because they won’t stop biting people and being assholes.

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That guy writes like Ben Garrison draws.

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The unsettling posture and gait of a Cassowary.

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Im pretty sure he means she’s a prostitute

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The unmistakable odor of a musk ox

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https://mobile.twitter.com/PamBorgelt/status/1342559223759204353

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there was supposed to be “digger” at the end of that but it got cut off by twitter. thanks section 230!

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The virility of a sperm whale.

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Where’d the “$1,400” come from?? (insert Trump cannot do math joke here)

And he’s hung like a horse!

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A couple months ago I was chased off by a zebra in Santa Ynez, CA. For reals.

image

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I once got knocked over by a lama. Bastard got me while I wasn’t looking. My coworkers had backed off to a safe distance. How about a heads-up, fuckers?

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it’s a The Undoing reference

Why did I just watch a video titled “Emu taking a poop”?

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No kink-shaming includes not kink-shaming yourself.

I’m right there with you. I also touch things that have a “wet paint” sign on them.

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