@Riverman you been summoned.
I feel like we could help this guy punch up his script.
He posted the first three scenes.
https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showpost.php?p=58207161&postcount=65
That is really poorly written and is incessantly breaking description rules. How would those scenes sell the script? All the characters sound like theyâre coming out of one mouth.
Riverman looked at the script, said âitâs no good and will never ever be a movie. Sorry.â Gerry said, âno need to be sorry if thatâs your opinion. But I just have one question: are you a lawyer?â
Already sounds like a better movie in the making.
Yes!! The way KevinB deflected all available criticism set a standard even Trump canât match.
I followed the thread at some point but it was so absurd with no put up for so long I think I tapped out around when Riverman agreed to read it.
It existed for a long time just under the original title of âPoker Movies,â which sounded like an uninteresting enough thread that I just skipped. But I did increasingly go, âWhy does this never leave the front page? How the fuck can there be tens of thousands of posts about poker movies? Thereâs, like, less than 10 of them!â
It was so, so bad. Indescribably bad. In hindsight it was really stupid of me to even agree to read it.
I wanted to be a screenwriter when I was a teenager. I am considering giving it another go. I feel like this might be a good time for it since we are moving away from the studio film (besides shitty comic book movies) and more towards streaming, stuff made by Netflix, which means that if you can write something that is filmed in a few locations with a few gotchas, it can work. I am thinking of stuff like:
Ex Machina
Companion
The Voyeurs
Better Watch Out
Blink Twice
Bodies Bodies Bodies
Not too often does a review make me love a movie more but the filmcast review of Wake Up Dead Man does that. @RiskyFlush did you listen? Curious if it increased your appreciation of the movie?
Way back then, I had an idea for Rounders 2, which basically makes Worm a variation of Dutch Boyd and his failed online poker site and Mike having to bail him out again.
I listened to the first half but havenât gotten to the featured review yet.
Too niche
Rounders lost money in the theaters (obviously later cult classic) and Rounders 2 would probably have triple the budget just on the actorsâ salaries alone. It would probably cost about $80 miillion and a poker movie ainât ever clearing $160m as far as I know.
Get writing and Iâll read it and try to give constructive criticism.
You should get Fade In as your script writing program.
KevinB was a perfect combo of internet troll and legitimately mentally ill weirdo. Top ten oot poster imo.
If I ever bink the Powerball I will bankroll his movie
He was serious though. He pays for IMDb Pro and has a page with nothing on it except a bio talking about his script.
Here, Iâm gona re-write his first paragraph into something more acceptable. I have no idea why he has some stuff all caps that probably shouldnât be but Iâll leave it alone.
Gerryâs Version:
FADE IN:
SUPERIMPOSE: Las Vegas, 2005
INT. BRAD AND KARENâS BEDROOM - SUNDAY MORNING
BRAD WALTERS, is a 26 yr. old professional poker dealer who works at the Mirage Casino. Brad is currently sound ASLEEP in bed. Bradâs pretty wife, KAREN, wants to wake him, so she lets their faithful dog âDOYLEâ into the bedroom. Doyle goes straight to his masterâs face and starts LICKING it.
nunnehi re-write:
FADE IN:
SUPER: Las Vegas, 2005
INT. BRAD AND KARENâS BEDROOM
BRAD WALTERS (26), deals 3-6 limit hold em poker at the Mirage Casino. He sleeps soundly. Bradâs pretty wife, KAREN (93), mischievously uses their faithful dog DOYLE to wake him up. Doyle jumps on the bed and LICKS Bradâs face.
Which is better?
Their review in no way increased my appreciation for the movie.
I agree with almost everything they said. On substance, itâs probably the deepest Benoit Blanc movie. It has lots to say and says it well. And itâs really funny.
But they each start off describing the movie exactly as it was meant to be. They love that this was a fun murder mystery that surprised them multiple times, especially with the ending.
This film did not surprise me. I saw who the villain was from the beginning. I did not know the specifics of every reveal each time, but only in the sense like when Penn and Teller say to a magician no, we donât know the EXACT thing you did, but we do know your method. You did not fool us.
I donât just mean the mystery reveals. I mean on a script level. The story did not surprise me. The characters and character arcs did not surprise me. The twists did not surprise me. The ending did not surprise me. I donât mean to lean into hyperbole, but I didnât feel like the performances surprised me either.
Now I am not a person who depends on novelty in order to enjoy a story. I loved The Sixth Sense despite already being spoiled on the twist. Thereâs a quiet delight in revisiting a story often enough that the memory of it sharpens.
But with Wake Up Dead Man, the experience of watching this was not fun enough for me to simply sit back and enjoy the ride with great enthusiasm. I would not watch this again. I have seen the first two multiple times.
Iâm glad The Filmcast connected so deeply with the movie. But for me it was more of an âoh thatâs nice.â
