Movies (and occasionally face slaps) (Part 3)

@Riverman you been summoned.

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I feel like we could help this guy punch up his script.

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He posted the first three scenes.

https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/showpost.php?p=58207161&postcount=65

That is really poorly written and is incessantly breaking description rules. How would those scenes sell the script? All the characters sound like they’re coming out of one mouth.

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Riverman looked at the script, said “it’s no good and will never ever be a movie. Sorry.” Gerry said, “no need to be sorry if that’s your opinion. But I just have one question: are you a lawyer?”

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Already sounds like a better movie in the making.

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Yes!! The way KevinB deflected all available criticism set a standard even Trump can’t match.

I followed the thread at some point but it was so absurd with no put up for so long I think I tapped out around when Riverman agreed to read it.

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It existed for a long time just under the original title of “Poker Movies,” which sounded like an uninteresting enough thread that I just skipped. But I did increasingly go, “Why does this never leave the front page? How the fuck can there be tens of thousands of posts about poker movies? There’s, like, less than 10 of them!”

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It was so, so bad. Indescribably bad. In hindsight it was really stupid of me to even agree to read it.

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I wanted to be a screenwriter when I was a teenager. I am considering giving it another go. I feel like this might be a good time for it since we are moving away from the studio film (besides shitty comic book movies) and more towards streaming, stuff made by Netflix, which means that if you can write something that is filmed in a few locations with a few gotchas, it can work. I am thinking of stuff like:

Ex Machina
Companion
The Voyeurs
Better Watch Out
Blink Twice
Bodies Bodies Bodies

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Not too often does a review make me love a movie more but the filmcast review of Wake Up Dead Man does that. @RiskyFlush did you listen? Curious if it increased your appreciation of the movie?

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Way back then, I had an idea for Rounders 2, which basically makes Worm a variation of Dutch Boyd and his failed online poker site and Mike having to bail him out again.

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I listened to the first half but haven’t gotten to the featured review yet.

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Too niche

Rounders lost money in the theaters (obviously later cult classic) and Rounders 2 would probably have triple the budget just on the actors’ salaries alone. It would probably cost about $80 miillion and a poker movie ain’t ever clearing $160m as far as I know.

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Get writing and I’ll read it and try to give constructive criticism.

You should get Fade In as your script writing program.

KevinB was a perfect combo of internet troll and legitimately mentally ill weirdo. Top ten oot poster imo.

If I ever bink the Powerball I will bankroll his movie

He was serious though. He pays for IMDb Pro and has a page with nothing on it except a bio talking about his script.

Here, I’m gona re-write his first paragraph into something more acceptable. I have no idea why he has some stuff all caps that probably shouldn’t be but I’ll leave it alone.

Gerry’s Version:

FADE IN:

SUPERIMPOSE: Las Vegas, 2005

INT. BRAD AND KAREN’S BEDROOM - SUNDAY MORNING

BRAD WALTERS, is a 26 yr. old professional poker dealer who works at the Mirage Casino. Brad is currently sound ASLEEP in bed. Brad’s pretty wife, KAREN, wants to wake him, so she lets their faithful dog “DOYLE” into the bedroom. Doyle goes straight to his master’s face and starts LICKING it.

nunnehi re-write:

FADE IN:

SUPER: Las Vegas, 2005

INT. BRAD AND KAREN’S BEDROOM

BRAD WALTERS (26), deals 3-6 limit hold em poker at the Mirage Casino. He sleeps soundly. Brad’s pretty wife, KAREN (93), mischievously uses their faithful dog DOYLE to wake him up. Doyle jumps on the bed and LICKS Brad’s face.

Which is better?

Their review in no way increased my appreciation for the movie.

I agree with almost everything they said. On substance, it’s probably the deepest Benoit Blanc movie. It has lots to say and says it well. And it’s really funny.

But they each start off describing the movie exactly as it was meant to be. They love that this was a fun murder mystery that surprised them multiple times, especially with the ending.

This film did not surprise me. I saw who the villain was from the beginning. I did not know the specifics of every reveal each time, but only in the sense like when Penn and Teller say to a magician no, we don’t know the EXACT thing you did, but we do know your method. You did not fool us.

I don’t just mean the mystery reveals. I mean on a script level. The story did not surprise me. The characters and character arcs did not surprise me. The twists did not surprise me. The ending did not surprise me. I don’t mean to lean into hyperbole, but I didn’t feel like the performances surprised me either.

Now I am not a person who depends on novelty in order to enjoy a story. I loved The Sixth Sense despite already being spoiled on the twist. There’s a quiet delight in revisiting a story often enough that the memory of it sharpens.

But with Wake Up Dead Man, the experience of watching this was not fun enough for me to simply sit back and enjoy the ride with great enthusiasm. I would not watch this again. I have seen the first two multiple times.

I’m glad The Filmcast connected so deeply with the movie. But for me it was more of an “oh that’s nice.”

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