Movies (and occasionally face slaps) (Part 1)

No super great 10/10 scores for Bob’s Burgers, but positive enough to hold a 97 on RT right now. Excited to see it this weekend but not super pumped like I was with Everything Everywhere.

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_bobs_burgers_movie

The animation looks crisp and delightful though so Im happy to see the crew in some high quality duds.

Ill need some thoughts on Maverick as well once people here see it. As someone who generally didn’t enjoy the original (possibly because of the godawful NES tie-in) I need to know if there is anything about it that outright surpasses the original.

What is Tom Hanks doing with his voice here?

Whatever he wants. He’s Tom Fucking Hanks.

This looks just awful.

We get it. You hate Elvis.

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lol nothing to do with that. It just looks bad. Bio pics in general are awful and this looks like a bad version of that.

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I know, I’m just kidding. It’s funny because the earlier trailer made the movie look better. This new trailer makes the movie look worse.

I’m your huckleberry. One of the most overrated artists of all time. The anti James Brown.

Whoever approved that atrocious accent? that Tom Hanks is using probably loves Elvis.

I thought maybe Hanks was trying to mimic whatever accent Colonel Parker has so I pulled up an old video and… he doesn’t have an accent.

Lol I saw the trailer in theatres and definitely thought he was trying to be true to whomever he was portraying.

Sounds like an accent to me. A lot like one of those New York accents you don’t hear much anymore, with D’s and T’s against the teeth but with a long A that isn’t normally there. Hanks seems in the ballpark but overdoing some of it just based on those 2 clips.

Rocketman was pretty good, but that was basically due to the lead actor actually being able to sing.

In general, biopics are one of my least favorite genres, and since elvis sounds like nails on a chalkboard to me, I doubt I’ll be seeing this…

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The problem here is that Luhrmann’s Colonel Parker — Tom Hanks in a “true true” performance defined by a fat suit, a fake nose, and an accent that I can only describe as the “Kentucky Fried Goldmember” — is possibly the most insufferable movie character ever conceived. The guy makes Jar-Jar Binks seem like Elliott Gould in “The Long Goodbye.” It’s as if Luhrmann watched Hanks’ performance from “The Ladykillers” and thought: “OK, what if that, but times 100 and for almost three entire hours?”

“Elvis” — and I wish I were joking about this — is presented as the dream that Colonel Parker has before dying.

Honestly, it’s hard to say where you are or in what context during a movie that spins in circles like a roulette wheel (often all too literally) and only slows down for a small handful of proper scenes along the way. One second, Colonel Parker is waddling around a Las Vegas hospital as an old man, and the next, we’re in full “Nightmare Alley” territory as the music impresario rolls through some hick fairground and hears a hot new song on the radio while looking for his next carnival geek.

Too bad Black acts don’t sell. Wait a minute! [the camera zooms in on Parker’s neck sweat, spins 360 degrees, speed-ramps through several different frame rates, invents six entirely new aspect ratios, and then lands on the prosthetic nose that only skirts anti-Semitism because no one knows for sure if the Colonel was Jewish] “he’s whhhhyyyyyiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittteee!?” [cash registers, fireworks, time moves in 12 directions at once, you see the moment of your own birth and death unfolding on a Brian de Palma split-screen]. Cut to: Elvis playing “That’s All Right” in an oversized pink suit as a concert for some local teenage girls suddenly turns into that scene from “Scanners.”

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Bohemian rhapsody was just awful so if this is a worse version yikes.

There is an amazing video on YouTube about how awful the editing of that film is even though it won best editing at the Oscar’s. lol Oscar’s.

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Even for people that like Elvis, this is a movie that very much does not need to be made. Elvis is interesting enough as a mid century American cultural phenomenon and icon, but there is no aspect of his story that remains untold and much of his retconned mythology is at best border line offensive in it’s white washing. Who is this move for? It comes across as something made by the makers for the makers. The delight in the production, the performance, the costuming, etc., are all delights that reside in the film makers and not the audience. Those movies are seldom good.

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Prediction: the Eminem song on the soundtrack will be more interesting than the entire Elvis movie.

Yeah that was so bad. And I’m not much a fan of biopics or Elvis but this one’s Baz Luhrman though so whatever it is at least it’ll be batshit.

Phew, I thought Hanks was playing Elvis. Not that I’d watch that anyway. I’m a proud member of fuck Elvis. Then again, I hate all these safely played wikipedia movies.

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Maybe hes channeling this Colonel Parker.