I applied for 50 jobs today and have received interest for a writing position with low but adequate pay for my current needs.
WIM.
I regret to say my suicidal ideation in the morning remains strong. I don’t want to get into my plan. I am struggling to want to stick around again.
Sorry you’re struggling today. Don’t do anything. Focus on taking care of yourself and being productive if possible and then check in with us in a few days or sooner and let us know how you’re feeling. And of course seek help if you need it.
Breath and do the next right thing Risky. One foot in front of the other
The psych who’s treating me for bipolar, this morning when I told him that I was planning to quit my job, move to the Philippines, and start my own business.
Applied to many more jobs.
Had a job interview on the phone at 6am for a position as a senior editor/graphic design consultant. I am not sure if I did very well but at least I put myself out there. I thought afterward of all the things I could have said that I didn’t say.
Just going to continue submitting and will take the first offer I get. I am taking the approach of accepting any job while continuing to look for the job I want. My insurance pays for my housing for 90 days, but after then I need to be able to come up with $600 a month or I’ll be on the street.
Good luck Rugby. You are a good dude who deserves to be happy.
I do this constantly, for every interaction, and I’m sure most people here do too. The number of arguments I’ve won in my shower… Anyways, now you know the things you’ll want to say next time 
And I’ve always heard the maxim “it’s easier to find a job when you have a job” so I think your approach is good. Glad you’re putting yourself out there. Keep at it.
I’ve got a rolodex of stuff I should have said going back to the 80s.
The Jerk Store wants its Rolodex back.
Yeah well the 80s called and said stop stepping on my lines.
Anyone can create a line. You have to be able to deliver the line.
Switched one of my meds. New one seems to be working.
I am dreaming a lot every night. This is weird. I haven’t remembered my dreams for years.
I interviewed for a shift lead and customer service associate position at a drug store. The GM really liked me. I should hear back next week.
I have a phone interview on Tuesday for a seasonal position with a bookstore at a local college.
I also heard back from the owner of a gambling news website. I will write a trial article for them next week.
I also applied for every remote position available with the Kamala Harris campaign.
I am feeling better and have been talking to one of my other identities about their continued desire to complete suicide. I don’t want to but they do. While they were in control, the only thing that stopped them was that this house is FULL of people and we would likely be caught and stopped. I think it’s for the best that we are living here. We could get a subsided apartment once we have a job, but I’m scared that if we lived alone, it would just be a matter of time before we harmed ourselves.
Thanks.
Thanks for sharing.
Glad you are feeling better. Keep plugging. I am still confident your disability will come through, but you are handling this right. Keep pushing on.
Thank you. I am still crossing my fingers, but it sounded like the judge’s decision would be contingent on them seeing the hospital records for my traumatic brain injury. Unfortunately the hospital cannot locate them, so my fingers are only half crossed. I am leaving myself open to being surprised. I have a TBI, DID, and was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia. I was diagnosed with the latter as a kid but just assumed it was a misdiagnosis, but the doctor said it’s possible to have both. Would certainly explain a lot. Life has been very hard and now I have an explanation that doesn’t involve me beating the crap out of myself for being weak and stupid.
This may be the story that you tell yourself, but I am constantly reading the words of someone that is strong, vulnerable, and resilient. It seems that you have many difficult challenges in your life, but just know that you are an inspiration.
You are so articulate and smart. I hope you get a writing job.
I have attended Intensive Outpatient Therapy three times a week for a little over a month. Pretty much everyone there knows I am trans and is kind and respectful.
Unfortunately that went out the window today when the subject came up not of me but trans people in general. People were saying terrible things like, “Chaz Bono will never be a real man.” Or asking if trans people will go to hell for changing the way God made them. Or why anyone would choose to cut off their own dick. Or saying they respect trans people, but do they have to keep shoving it in people’s faces?
The therapist didn’t shut down the discussion, just let it idle and then added that in his opinion, unless you’re in an intimate situation with a person, it’s really none of your business whether they’re trans.
I took out my stuffed unicorn and hugged it until the discussion shifted to a new topic.
I think I got a writing job!
I’m so sorry you had to sit there for that.
