Zara, since you experienced childhood sexual abuse, you were a victim of this abuse, regardless of whether or not you mind the word “victim.”. Of course, nothing about this means that you need to view yourself today as still being a “victim” in 2020.
What jbro and i have a problem with is your belief that you get to speak for anyone’s experiences simply because you had a similar experience.
This comes back to my belief, that I stated a while ago, that you seem to have a difficult time empathizing with others’ beliefs and feelings when they run counter to your own beliefs.
Empathy does NOT mean having compassion for someone because of how you would feel in their situation.
Empathy is being able to place yourself in anothers’ shoes in order to try to see the situation through their eyes.
It’s funny that you think you’re getting extra abuse for those reasons, while I strongly believe that people actually go light on you for those exact reasons.
I don’t feel like I’m attacking you or asking you to change. You got heat for making a callous statement about Epstein’s victims and as Jbro responded, you should expect to get more heat in the future if you choose to do it again. Regarding misogyny, the fact that you are foreign and female affords you leeway that others on this board don’t get. You be you, but remember that confidence is food to the wise man, but liquor to the fool.
I’m not going to do it now just to be a dink. But if you keep wanting to rehash this, (I mean you brought the entire thing up again today in a post with a bunch of falsehoods and inaccuracies), and you want us all to pretend that words have no meaning, well then you’re pretty much going to be out of luck. Unless the mods want to ban a whole bunch of people just to keep you happy.
I interpreted “emphasis on the past tense” or however you worded it as a statement towards Epstein’s victims. You have every right to make such statements about yourself, even if they cause people here to roll their eyes.
Wrong. I actually helped you clarify that you were speaking only about yourself. And then I accepted your clarification. And then for some reason you keep bringing it up over and over and saying that we all think you need to throw yourself a life long pity party. I guess it all comes from you not wanting to use (the word that shall not be used) to describe the abuse situation that you experienced. Even though use of (the word that shall not be used) doesn’t in any way mean that you do not have agency and that you have to suffer pity, etc. forever.
Ok, I missed that and I apologize. I saw your post started with trying to decide where to put your post so I thought you had decided to bring it up again yourself.
I have no idea what this means. But if using words correctly per their dictionary definition is “violence” well then my hands are bloody.
I’m going to give it a break now before somebody has to tell me to shut up. (ha ha - you decided to give break at same time I made my edit. Good idea for both of us.)
You guys are debating someone that lacks basic emotional intelligence and can barely string together a coherent English sentence on the nuances of the word “victim”. It’s interesting watching the majority handle her with kid gloves as she steamrolls yet another thread with basic Republican beliefs that would be openly ridiculed coming from others.
This is still a bit uncomfortable to write about, even decades later, but still…
In my mid 20s a relationship I’d been in for a couple of years was fizzling out. It ended, but we were keen to remain good friends and stayed in touch over the following weeks.
About three months later she rang me late at night in a total mess, which was completely out of character for her, a positive and outgoing person. I managed to get out of her that she had been raped while walking through a park on her way home. I drove over there and spent the next day with her because she said there was no one else she could tell about it.
I’d never seen her in such a bad way, of course, and it was shocking, but over time most of her old confidence had returned and there’s absolutely no way she would have wanted anyone to use the word victim to describe her, even though she would recognise it as being technically correct because she was the victim of a very serious crime - because victimhood is something that is impossible to shed.
I also think that “victims” of bullying for example would probably prefer to be called something else years later which didn’t carry connotations of defeat and I think it would be better if we used an unemotional word like “target” instead itf, where possible.
If a man was here talking about an old experience where he was sexually abused and how he didn’t want to be labelled as a victim now, anyone tearing into him would be a major arsehole.
If someone actually stardtom a separate thread for someone who posts daily by stuff that is borderline unintelligible (and I understand there is a language issue ?) can someone why she needs a second blog to poster here? I get noticeably dumber with between my brain tumor and being 64 years old - I get worse and I’m going to start wearing wearing a goddam MAGA cap.
The word victim has meanings and connotations that everyone here fully understands except for a single person obstinately repeating a very basic point ad nauseum. She’s conflating victimhood with a lack of resiliency and projecting her bristling at the word on to everyone. Nobody is calling her anything.
I know and not every use of the word carries these connotations. Sometimes it’s straightforward, descriptive and not in any way shape, or form a personal attack and shouldn’t be treated as such.