TC is trying to help his white friend get off heroin, the only way he knows how… with helicopters! After getting arrested for a helicopter chase against the coast guard, it’s up to magnum to solve the mystery and get TC out of trouble. This is a classic adventure with magnum and the boys. And we get a sweet moment where magnum gives up his residence at robin’s nest in exchange for higgins’ help, and higgins respects him for it and later absolves him of the debt. nice!
s1e3 China Doll
s1e11 The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club
a1e12 Thicker Than Blood
s1e1,2 Don’t Eat the Snow in Hawaii
s1e9 Missing in Action
s1e6 Skin Deep
s1e7 Never Again, Never Again
s1e10 Lest We Forget
s1e8 The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
s1e4 Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too
magnum, in narrator voiceover, says he “can’t say” what higgins wrote in a note he’s reading. indicating the narrator knows he’s on a television show. i’m not sure if he’s a reliable or unreliable narrator. So he’s either unreliable and casually lies sometimes or he’s reliable while being somehow bound by cbs standards and practices.
anyway guy in witness protection fleeing kkk assassins dents the ferrari, leading to a big adventure and a few gunfights. they find a “gift club” where new members give a $1000 gift and at the end they all get a $50,000 gift. just for being in the club! someone should figure out a way to do this club in crypto.
s1e3 China Doll
s1e11 The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club
a1e12 Thicker Than Blood
s1e1,2 Don’t Eat the Snow in Hawaii
s1e9 Missing in Action
s1e6 Skin Deep
s1e7 Never Again, Never Again
s1e13 All Roads Lead to Floyd
s1e10 Lest We Forget
s1e8 The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
s1e4 Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too
magnum gets a job protecting a show horse, and invites his friends rick and tc to come and enjoy the show. they initially laugh (presumably because it is not macho enough for them) but rick then wonders aloud what kind of outfits they would get to wear for such an event (these two macho mfs low key LOVE getting dressed up in outfits)
notable lines:
TC [extra deep voice]: “how do you like our outfits?”
s1e3 China Doll
s1e11 The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club
a1e12 Thicker Than Blood
s1e1,2 Don’t Eat the Snow in Hawaii
s1e9 Missing in Action
s1e14 Adelaide
s1e6 Skin Deep
s1e7 Never Again, Never Again
s1e13 All Roads Lead to Floyd
s1e10 Lest We Forget
s1e8 The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
s1e4 Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too
ted dansen in this one playing antagonist to magnum. and i bet you didn’t know one of magnum’s best friends is an old blind lady. well, it’s established. she trusts him utterly.
magnum is at a tourist spot, all crowded, and meets with some dude who’s part of the mystery. dude gets shot, sniper out there. magnum is pinned, then is able to find a moment to run out to his car for a ferrari chase. i was thinking about how often this happens and how horrible it’d be to be an honest policeman in magnum’s neighborhood. there’s a new dead body popping up right next to this guy every week, and he almost never gives a statement, he usually flees. and some of those bodies are dead by magnum’s own hand! self-defense or no, the sheer number of dead at this point should be raising serious red flags within law enforcement.
disappointing that ted dansen dies being sliced to bits by a yacht engine after jumping into the water trying to flee the police. but at least that’s one death not on magnum
s1e3 China Doll
s1e11 The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club
a1e12 Thicker Than Blood
s1e1,2 Don’t Eat the Snow in Hawaii
s1e15 Don’t Say Goodbye
s1e9 Missing in Action
s1e14 Adelaide
s1e6 Skin Deep
s1e7 Never Again, Never Again
s1e13 All Roads Lead to Floyd
s1e10 Lest We Forget
s1e8 The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
s1e4 Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too
an eccentric rich girl hires people to perform semiscripted vignettes so she can feel like she’s living a grand storybook lifestyle. and it’s all fun and games until a pair of white guys in balaclavas attack her and magnum at a picnic… for real!
notable lines:
“now if that’s not good enough for you, we can fight. you’re younger than i am, and stronger maybe, so you’d probably win. but i’m richer than you are, so in the end i’ll beat you”
s1e3 China Doll
s1e11 The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club
a1e12 Thicker Than Blood
s1e1,2 Don’t Eat the Snow in Hawaii
s1e15 Don’t Say Goodbye
s1e9 Missing in Action
s1e14 Adelaide
s1e6 Skin Deep
s1e7 Never Again, Never Again
s1e16 The Black Orchid
s1e13 All Roads Lead to Floyd
s1e10 Lest We Forget
s1e8 The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
s1e4 Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too
orson welles as the voice of robin masters in this one, bros.
notable quotes:
magnum: “describe him”
cabbie: “he was short. had a mustache. slight paunch. spoke with a british accent.”
rick: “did he tip you?”
cabbie: “yeah, 20 bucks”
rick: “it’s not higgins, thomas”
magnum: “i know.”
s1e3 China Doll
s1e11 The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club
a1e12 Thicker Than Blood
s1e1,2 Don’t Eat the Snow in Hawaii
s1e15 Don’t Say Goodbye
s1e17 J. “Digger” Doyle
s1e9 Missing in Action
s1e14 Adelaide
s1e6 Skin Deep
s1e7 Never Again, Never Again
s1e16 The Black Orchid
s1e13 All Roads Lead to Floyd
s1e10 Lest We Forget
s1e8 The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
s1e4 Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too
a hillbilly hayseed from texas comes to hawaii to find his sister, who has become a prostitute. he evinces pretty much every stereotype you would expect
billyjoe in his rampage mission of revenge because he thought his sister was dead, has got a japanese gang leader with a noose around his neck ready to be lynched, the gangster says, “i have money. i’ll make you rich”. billyjoe says, “tell me all about it, partner” as he tightens the ropes. so dark. magnum shows up at the last possible moment to convince him the sister is alive, stopping the rampage and earning a favor from the japanese gangster, no doubt. classic magnum
s1e3 China Doll
s1e11 The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club
a1e12 Thicker Than Blood
s1e1,2 Don’t Eat the Snow in Hawaii
s1e15 Don’t Say Goodbye
s1e17 J. “Digger” Doyle
s1e9 Missing in Action
s1e14 Adelaide
s1e6 Skin Deep
s1e7 Never Again, Never Again
s1e18 Beauty Knows No Pain
s2e19 Billy Joe Bob
s1e16 The Black Orchid
s1e13 All Roads Lead to Floyd
s1e10 Lest We Forget
s1e8 The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
s1e4 Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too
lol I remember watching that back in the day; that was the first time I ever heard of “Ironman”! And it was not a Ironman race, it was the Ironman race; the first one was in 1978, so we see the 2nd or 3rd Ironman ever in this episode.
this is the episode that features the famous “fighting underwater in scuba gear” scene that we see in the opening credits for every season because it is so badass.
this one had some vaguely leftist theme about colonialism and how the europeans took credit for shit the natives came up with on their own. and underwater is some huge sunken cultural artifact that proves the historic hawaiians invented this thing before the spanish contacted them, and some capitalists are trying to blow it up underwater so magnum had to fight them in scuba
s1e3 China Doll
s1e11 The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club
s2e20 Dead Man’s Channel
a1e12 Thicker Than Blood
s1e1,2 Don’t Eat the Snow in Hawaii
s1e15 Don’t Say Goodbye
s1e17 J. “Digger” Doyle
s1e9 Missing in Action
s1e14 Adelaide
s1e6 Skin Deep
s1e7 Never Again, Never Again
s1e18 Beauty Knows No Pain
s2e19 Billy Joe Bob
s1e16 The Black Orchid
s1e13 All Roads Lead to Floyd
s1e10 Lest We Forget
s1e8 The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
s1e4 Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too
5 mile swim, 26.2 mile foot race, then idk how long but a bicycle part to finish. magnum got all the way to the bicycle part and solved the case! so he turned around, bicycled back to the crime scene to solve the mystery.
TC was devastated because he bet all his money on magnum winning even though he didn’t train for the race at all. but his island hoppers advertisement on magnum’s shirt caught the attention of the news anchor and it turned into a minute-long commercial for island hoppers, satisfying TC thankfully. i was worried about TC in this one, that was a desperation move
scooby doo style ghost mystery. rick gets a love story and gets to get shot protecting a ghost. she denies being the ghost until the end, which means ghosts are real in the magnum pi universe. beware.
s1e3 China Doll
s1e11 The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club
s2e20 Dead Man’s Channel
a1e12 Thicker Than Blood
s1e1,2 Don’t Eat the Snow in Hawaii
s1e15 Don’t Say Goodbye
s1e17 J. “Digger” Doyle
s1e9 Missing in Action
s1e14 Adelaide
s1e6 Skin Deep
s1e7 Never Again, Never Again
s1e18 Beauty Knows No Pain
s2e21 Woman on the Beach
s2e19 Billy Joe Bob
s1e16 The Black Orchid
s1e13 All Roads Lead to Floyd
s1e10 Lest We Forget
s1e8 The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
s1e4 Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too
cold war story about russians defecting from the ussr because the ussr is SO TERRIBLE. give me a break. i want an episode where magnum defects to the ussr because the ussr subsidizes surfing
i like that magnum repeatedly tries to talk the dude out of defecting with his girlfriend. this russian guy sucks. his dream was to see the grand canyon? eat my balls, that’s not a motivation to defect.
love that higgins effortly discusses marx to distract the russian handler. higgins goat genius
s1e3 China Doll
s1e11 The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club
s2e20 Dead Man’s Channel
a1e12 Thicker Than Blood
s1e1,2 Don’t Eat the Snow in Hawaii
s1e15 Don’t Say Goodbye
s2e22 From Moscow to Maui
s1e17 J. “Digger” Doyle
s1e9 Missing in Action
s1e14 Adelaide
s1e6 Skin Deep
s1e7 Never Again, Never Again
s1e18 Beauty Knows No Pain
s2e21 Woman on the Beach
s2e19 Billy Joe Bob
s1e16 The Black Orchid
s1e13 All Roads Lead to Floyd
s1e10 Lest We Forget
s1e8 The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
s1e4 Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too
notable lines:
[rick and tc playing blackjack heads up]
rick: “you hit 20??”
tc: “uh huh”
rick: “nobody hits 20”
tc: “i do”
this two-parter starts out with magnum seeing his dead ex wife alive on a yacht, and part 1 ends with the navy kidnapping him and impressing him in forced service. magnum is always trying to access top secret information from the navy. this is probably where trump got the idea that that kind of behavior is “cool”.
turns out magnum has had a dead wife this whole time. and she was/is a spy. war. war never changes.
s1e3 China Doll
s1e11 The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club
s2e20 Dead Man’s Channel
s2e23,24 Memories are Forever
a1e12 Thicker Than Blood
s1e1,2 Don’t Eat the Snow in Hawaii
s1e15 Don’t Say Goodbye
s2e22 From Moscow to Maui
s1e17 J. “Digger” Doyle
s1e9 Missing in Action
s1e14 Adelaide
s1e6 Skin Deep
s1e7 Never Again, Never Again
s1e18 Beauty Knows No Pain
s2e21 Woman on the Beach
s2e19 Billy Joe Bob
s1e16 The Black Orchid
s1e13 All Roads Lead to Floyd
s1e10 Lest We Forget
s1e8 The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
s1e4 Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too
notable lines:
“that man… well, he’s staring at me”
“exactly which one?”
“i’m afraid it’s the one that appears to have gone out in his underwear”
magnum can’t believe higgins is hitting it off with a beautiful woman while she rebuffs his repeated sexual advances. she’s the first person on the show to ever show any interest in higgins’ war stories. everyone else around higgins is a vietnam vet so they have their own stories and aren’t as proud to boast of their illustrious service as this englishman who fought in ww2.
well, unfortunately for our boy higgins, the magnum test was true and there was a secret plot to seduce him. in a way, good for magnum, hitting on every chick higgins likes. if they go for magnum, then you know they’re not on a deadly spy mission. it’s what bros do.
magnum has an unfortunate quirk where he forcefully kisses women who are arguing with him. enjoy it while it lasts, bucko. in 1981 time isn’t up yet, but it will be.
higgins’ idea of getting dressed up sexy is an ascot and smoking jacket. this was no doubt meant to be outdated in the 1980s but to me it looks like he’s crushing it.
well it doesn’t matter how much he was crushing it, because it was a double-cross. it was an art heist the whole time, with the thief lying to the beautiful woman to honeypot higgins. but guess what! even when the woman rebuffed magnum’s forced kiss and slapped him, he STILL didn’t believe she was actually attracted to higgins and was waiting just outside during the date/robbery! him rick and tc foil the robbers, with the main robber threatening to slash a painting as a last gambit, but magnum doesn’t care, he pulls his gun and shoots over the guy’s shoulder. magnum should have shot the painting itself, to really show he means business. but over the shoulder worked
s2e25 Tropical Madness
s1e3 China Doll
s1e11 The Curse of the King Kamehameha Club
s2e20 Dead Man’s Channel
s2e23,24 Memories are Forever
a1e12 Thicker Than Blood
s1e1,2 Don’t Eat the Snow in Hawaii
s1e15 Don’t Say Goodbye
s2e22 From Moscow to Maui
s1e17 J. “Digger” Doyle
s1e9 Missing in Action
s1e14 Adelaide
s1e6 Skin Deep
s1e7 Never Again, Never Again
s1e18 Beauty Knows No Pain
s2e21 Woman on the Beach
s2e19 Billy Joe Bob
s1e16 The Black Orchid
s1e13 All Roads Lead to Floyd
s1e10 Lest We Forget
s1e8 The Ugliest Dog in Hawaii
s1e4 Thank Heaven for Little Girls and Big Ones Too
