This didn’t seem to fit any existing topic, and I thought it would be interesting to talk about various problems that come up at work. The particular item at hand is racial, but I’m sure there are lots of difficult-to-deal-with situations in other contexts, like gender or age.
Anyway, here’s the item that prompted this. I heard about this through the grapevine, so consider this mostly accurate:
A 3rd-hand friend owns/manages an agency that hires out doulas - women who provide mid-wife type services to pregnant women. This owner has periodically received inquiries from potential clients who wanted their doula to be a particular (shared) race. The owner does not happen to employ any doulas of that race, so ends up turning these potential clients away. Recently, the owner attempted to hire a doula of that race in order to satisfy that demand, and apparently the interview went south. This is where the story gets hazy, but it seems like it came out that the owner was interviewing this doula solely because of her race, and the potential doula took to a Facebook group to drag the owner/manager for being racist.
I feel pretty confident that the owner/manager likely behaved badly in the interview, but I want to put that aside. My question is what the owner should have done in the face of those client requests. Potential options:
Tell potential clients that she has faith in all of her doulas and that she doesn’t assign doulas based on race, nor would she feel comfortable doing so. If that’s not ok with the potential client, tough luck.
Tell the potential clients that she doesn’t happen to have any doulas of that race on staff, but she would be happy to refer them to another agency. (This might involve some kind of alliance with another agency, I guess.)
Do what she did - attempt to diversify her group of doulas. The problem here (in addition to the potential for seeming uber-racist in the hiring process), is that there are often doula switches resulting from uncertainty about delivery dates - a doula might plan for a July birth but be out of town for an early delivery. In that context, a single doula of a particular race probably wouldn’t suffice.
I think this is complicated. Ultimately, I believe the owner should have taken the first approach. (I analogized it to me going to a massage parlor and demanding a white masseuse - I think they should kick me out rather than cater to me.) What gives me pause is that in this scenario, the potential clients are black and looking for a black doula. I know that black people already experience disparate medical treatment, and I know that there can be real benefits for minorities who share a background with their doctor. So it doesn’t seem completely terrible to me that a pregnant black woman would want a doula of her own race.
Curious what people here think, and to hear about other sensitive issues that come up in the workplace.
I think in this case, trying to get employees of certain races or ethnic backgrounds is attempting to be inclusive, not exclusive. Specifically, having a doula for your birth is probably very personal for many women/couples, and I don’t think it’s wrong for an Irish or Lebanese (or black) woman to request an Irish or Lebanese (or black) doula because that would make them more comfortable during the birth.
That leads to the question of how badly the owner bungled her part of the interview.
A duola is a pretty personal thing and I would expect there to be some interview/meeting. The client should be doing their own discriminating covertly. We had duolas, but they just individuals and not from some duola supply company.
Ours were good. I barely even remember the second. I think she was a friend of a friend or something. I’m not even 100% there was one the second time. Long time ago - sadly much harder to remember the second time around - and she definitely wasn’t there for the birth, we were only in the hospital like 40 mintues until birth. The first was nice though and I got plenty of inclusion and pats on the head.
I would go with one but try to convey that the clients preference will be kept in consideration.
I am really curious how they screwed up the interview so much. There was no real need to even go into the whys of it. Just interview them normally and if they qualify hire them. I really don’t get how it became racist, but because of that, that person shouid not try threading any needles and just stick to basic 1.
I wish the interview was secretly taped and leaked because I am super curious.
Yeah, this story was communicated to me by a friend of a friend of the owner (as told by the owner), so I’m also very curious about the actual conversation. I expect that the owner handled it extremely poorly. My median expectation of the conversation is that it went something like this, “I’m trying to expand the number of minority doulas because we get a lot of potential clients who are asking for someone of the same race.” I believe the phrase “baby daddy” was used, if that gives you an indication of how bad the conversation might have been.
The point is that both reduce to shared culture and experience. It’s pretty obviously not only about the “plumbing” given that a trans woman would be accepted as a doula in most cases.
It’s not only that it’s a stereotype, it’s generally meant to be an attempt to imitate Black speech. It’s mocking. I don’t necessarily mean that it’s a forbidden phrase, but absent other context the chances are it is condescension if not disdain.
Because the justification offered by the guy in that thread doesn’t apply in the case of whites, imo. Minorities, especially minorities working in skilled professions and care work, will be well used to dealing with white people and will understand the ‘codes’ etc.
