You’re doing the right thing, and you know it. The rest is hard to take. Sorry.
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Microdaughter gave blood yesterday and that comes with an antibody test. Results not in yet. Nanodaughter and I just made an appointment to give blood on the 16th.
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I’m sorry for your loss Jbro. I hope you’re holding up ok.
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I mentioned before my next door neighbor house where a kid a little younger than my kids tested positive. Her father also tested positive now for antibodies. He didn’t have any symptoms that I know about.
My daughter recovered quickly, and is now done with her quarantine. None of her roommates caught it, good new there. The bad news is she now has zero remaining roommates for the upcoming term (Colorado, live classes through Thanksgiving). One is going to school in her home state, and the other is taking a year off. Of her college-aged cousins, one is probably taking a year off, and the other is going to attend live as a freshman. She’s planning to fly home for a few weeks at the end of this month.
Meanwhile, my wife (autoimmune disorder, high-risk) is on a relative socializing and shopping spree. She’s pretty much sick of it, and doesn’t want to hear my negativity. We’re far from out of the woods in Massachusetts , but so far, we are only seeing people who have been careful to very careful.
My son got the 600/week in extra unemployment, and he immediately started ordering food. That stimulus really works! He also built a gaming PC, and seems happy to interact online with his friends
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I have a milestone birthday coming up. In pre-covid times, I probably would have planned a big trip or a big party to celebrate. Because 2020 is the year where we can’t have nice things, no big celebration is happening. It sucks, but I had accepted it.
A few days ago, I’m talking to my Dad and he mentions that he and my stepmom are going on vacation for a week and they’ll be driving back on the weekend of my birthday and they want to know if they can swing by to take me out to dinner. I literally have not had a sustained in person interaction with anyone in 6 months, so I’d obviously love to see them. At the same time I’m also concerned both about contracting the virus from them if they pick it up on vacation (I don’t expect them to go crazy, but they will be sharing a house with several other couples and will definitely be dining in restaurants as well) and about all of us possibly picking it up at the restaurant we go to. Also, given that it will be my first extended period of time around strangers since covid, I’m concerned about my ability to actually relax and enjoy the experience.
The best plan I can come up with is early dinner at an outdoor spot within walking distance of my place (so we wouldn’t have to share a car or other transport).
I don’t really know what I’m looking for other than (a) I guess I needed to get my anxieties out in written form and (b) a sanity check on whether I am being too cautious/not cautious enough, etc.
[Thanks for taking my call, going to hang up and listen]
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Tell me if I am not hearing you right, but what I hear is that this is a milestone birthday and you want to manifest the experience of a celebration. You can do this within new social distancing guidelines. I’m not sure what that looks like for you, but think of it less as doing the specific things you associate with a celebration and more about the kind of experience you get from a celebration. This may help you identify stuff y’all can do to manifest that same dynamic that you otherwise might not have considered or realized is what matters the most to you at a celebration like this anyway.
What about getting takeout and meeting in a park or field? Everyone can remain socially distanced within their pods. You on one side, parents on the other.
I’d be good removing masks and accepting the distance as a new personal space boundary. We encounter those all the time outside of COVID, so it doesn’t bother me to insist people sit that far away. Are you worried how they may react if you say you’d love to if they’ll agree to conditions like this?
My concern about eating at a restaurant, even outside, is you don’t have control over the environment and who comes into your space. The server will be in and out. Other patrons will cross your path. You are agreeing to whatever standards for social distancing the restaurant is willing to enforce, not what you prefer.
Yeah, you nailed it. I think I’ve been hypervigilant because at least that is a bright line that I can control. Once you start taking some risks beyond absolutely essential stuff, and putting things more in control of other people, navigating what risks are “acceptable” becomes tricky, and I’m not great at it (it’s why I’m so good at poker :) ).
I like the picnic idea. I don’t think they’ll have any problem with it (when he raised the idea of stopping by, he even said that he understood that I have been taking the virus very seriously and he wanted to do something that I felt comfortable with, so he’s flexible).
I guess I just have this nagging sense that I’m not really going to enjoy anything because I have been so locked down and anti-social for so long that any interaction is going to produce some anxiety. I hope and think that a lot of that will go away once I actually get to see them, but I’m just a natural worrywart and over planner.
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Oh that sounds great! I’m glad your dad is already encouraging your boundaries even if different than theirs.
I hope it goes well. I think you’re right that once you’re in the middle of it, you’ll enjoy yourself in the way you hope will happen.
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Just bumping because I am curious how it went?
It want really well, actually. We met up at a little park with big picnic tables. I walked over and they drove and brought a few dozen steamed crabs (one of my favorite foods and something I haven’t had in ages). We sat at opposite ends of the table and everyone had their own pile of crabs, so I think it was about the safest way to share a meal in person.
It was great to see them, and we’re all well outside of the incubation period now, so I give it a 10/10 :)
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I love crabs so it sounds heavenly. I’m glad you had such a fun and safe celebration.
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Thanks! It was definitely the highlight of what has been a dreary few months. That birthday was not the rowdiest, but it will always be one I think of fondly.
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Good luck. Seems like there is a high likelihood of you guys all being ok but it still would be scary to me.
Hope people have continued to stay safe from this awful disease. On a positive note, I received my second vaccination shot this last Wednesday , which I am grateful for as a frontline healthcare worker. My wife also finagled her way into getting vaccinated because she volunteers as a healthcare worker at an organization that takes care of migrants but can’t do so until she’s vaccinated (her day job would not qualify). The only other person I know outside of work who has gotten the vaccine is my crazy aunt who lives in Brooklyn…one of those people who manages to make their own good and terrible luck at the same time. I assume the other members here who work in healthcare have gotten or will be getting their vaccinations soon and hopefully they will be available to everyone sooner rather than later.
On a more sour note, the mother of a good friend of ours is currently admitted at my hospital and her status is declining. Our friend is a single mother of three girls whose husband passed away from leukemia around the time their third child was born. Before COVID we spent a lot of time with them and the oldest child in particular forged a strong bond with our daughter, basically acting as a big sister (during my FMLA she would come over once a week to help me). She’s been wanting to come visit in person but we’ve been resisting, although shortly before Christmas we met with them to exchange gifts outdoors and with masks on. Apparently they had a small family gathering for Christmas (like 2-3 people as far as I understand) and everyone ended up positive. Her mother was admitted some time in the last week and has required progressively more oxygen and a higher level of care; today the doctor said she might need to be put on a ventilator and might not make it out. The whole situation is honestly heartbreaking but it free like there’s nothing we can do except continue to treat her and hope it turns around.
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To finalize my story here… my dad went onward nine weeks ago. He was 92 and had late stage Alzheimer’s. What I feel I can be proud of is this: I was able to keep him in his home right up to the very end, and he never caught covid (for which he was tested).
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condolences, it is never easy losing a parent, no matter what age
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Not looking forward to when that day comes for me.
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Welcome back to the forums.
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Sabo, my condolences. Being able to keep your dad home must have eased his transition. But it’s a brutal time, regardless.
It’s been awhile. Welcome back.
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