Biggest Assholes of All Time Draft

Politics & News
259

I dont have a Sports guy yet, so how about Orenthal James Simpson. One of Americas most beloved sports stars, a legendary ad spokesman and a surprising comic actor. And oh yeah, also a thief, abuser, rapist, and double murderer. Add that to the fact that he held the country’s airwaves hostage for a year, and rilled up a whole new level of racial tension because he couldnt be arsed to turn himself in, leading to the push that 24/7 news needed to actually become a thing, and you’ve got grade A asshole meat.

And dont get me started on “If I did it” ugh, what a piece of shit.

4 Likes
260

@eyebooger

261

Btw you have now sniped me on Jesus and Ailes.

Considering we are encompassing all of history and the entire world, that’s pretty impressive

262

Still alive last I checked.

1 Like
263

Fuuuuuuuuuuu

264

Fine. Chris Benoit. Murder suicided his wife and kid.

265

Damn it. So dumb

266

Will have my pick in before the end of the day.

267

Wichita gunning to get added to your list in a worst-case scenario. Now that’s the long game, friends.

268

Benoit isn’t even the biggest asshole who suffered from CTE. Huge reach imo.

It does give me an idea for my next pick though (if there is one).

269

If Josef Mengele is worth #2 overall, surely this guy is a high value pick late in Round 4.

Shiro Ishii

image

It doesn’t get nearly the press in the West that the Holocaust does, but the Japanese did some fucked up shit in World War 2. The most cruel and notorious were the activities that occurred in Unit 731 under the direction of my fourth pick, Shiro Ishii.

Unit 731, located in modern day Harbin, China, subjected its prisoners (mostly Chinese political dissidents, common criminals and mentally handicapped) to unimaginable torture.

These human testing activities included:

  • Tying prisoners to stakes in order to test pathogen bombs and chemical weapons.
  • Using grenade launchers and flame throwers at various distances.
  • Forced sex acts between infected and non-infected people to observe the spread of diseases such as syphilis.
  • Live frostbite testing.
  • Injections with sea water.
  • Forced withholding of food and water to see how long it would take for the person to die.
  • Experimental surgeries of all kinds on a variety of people including children, infants and pregnant women.

And of course there was all kinds of other various physical, psychological and sexual abuses.

Here is one such account of one of the guards, which I’ll put behind spoiler tags because it’s gross and awful:

One of the former researchers I located told me that one day he had a human experiment scheduled, but there was still time to kill. So he and another unit member took the keys to the cells and opened one that housed a Chinese woman. One of the unit members raped her; the other member took the keys and opened another cell. There was a Chinese woman in there who had been used in a frostbite experiment. She had several fingers missing and her bones were black, with gangrene set in. He was about to rape her anyway, then he saw that her sex organ was festering, with pus oozing to the surface. He gave up the idea, left and locked the door, then later went on to his experimental work.

Obviously there are many assholes that contributed to the atrocities in Unit 731, but when you’re the head it for 10 years, you get top billing, so fuck you asshole.

Oh, and as a not-so-fun follow-up, this fucker didn’t even get prison time. Yeah, he got immunity from war crimes as the United States military officials thought that the data would be valuable.

7 Likes
270

@FuncrusherPlus is up now in Round 4.

271

Pretty insane value. Totally forgot about Unit 731.

272

I know. I was feeling pressured after I screwed up and picked an alive person. I think Benoit is more of a personal one to me, but it’s an obvious punt.

273

I almost took Shiro over Fred Trump to corner the mad scientist market.

I thought you were gonna take him after your Mengele oversight.

I will get my pick in by the end of the day.

1 Like
274

All in with GG Allin.

275

So, Reagan.

I was surprised at the tepid response — Reagan was chiefly responsible for many of the ills in society we rail against on this very forum. Foremost among them:

  1. Union-busting. Despite spending years with the Screen Actors Guild, and professing to be in favour of the right to unionize, Reagan kicked off an as-yet uninterrupted erosion in the power of organized labour when he fired striking air traffic controllers outright. This unprecedented act of dismissing skilled union workers over a labour dispute showed the private sector that, hey, we should probably start doing that too! The drastic slide in union membership and the draconian “Right to Work” laws had their genesis here.

  2. Reaganomics. Reagan had been preaching this garbage since the fifties, when he signed a million-dollar contract and lamented how little of the money he got to keep, as well as pointing to his actor friends who weren’t motivated to make more than a movie or two a year because of the high tax rates in the largest income bracket. Somebody, think of the millionaires! Somehow, he managed to con the entire Republican Party into thinking this was a good idea, with huge tax cuts and massive deficits becoming SOP for any incoming R government.

  3. ”The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, ‘I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.’” Again, something Reagan had been advocating long before he became president — he fostered his own deep distrust of government in the American people starting with his support of [redacted] in 1964 and outspoken criticism of “socialized medicine” (sound familiar?) and continuing through his run as governor of California and early shots at the presidency. He was fervently anti-regulation, made cuts to important social programs like Medicaid and food stamps, and generally laid the groundwork for the dismantling of effective governance under the right. All the selfish cries of “MUH FREEDUMZ” we hear today, as well as people like Paul Ryan’s desire to drown the government in a bathtub, are echoes of Reagan’s deeply destructive rhetoric and policies.

I could go on!

  • Though he was sceptical of the committee itself, he worked with the FBI to pass names of suspected Communists to the House Un-American Activities Committee.
  • As governor of California, anti-big gubmint Ronnie worked with the feds again to violently put down student uprisings at Berkeley. (Look up Bloody Thursday.)
  • He frequently catered to racists in his campaigning (See: Starting his 1980 campaign in Starkville, MS with a “states’ rights” message; “Welfare queens”; vetoing an anti-apartheid bill).
  • He had no problems supporting brutal dictators (Saddam Hussein chief among them, along with many, many undrafteds).
  • He ignored the AIDS epidemic, only the biggest public health crisis of his presidency, due to latent right-wing homophobia.

And, last but not least, I feel like his election pretty much set the foundation for electing the blithering idiot currently parked in front of a TV in the White House residence.

Yes, I feel very ok with this pick.

15 Likes
276

Is this still a thing?

@smrk4

277

I’m not participating in this, but I’d like to nominate Ashli Babbit.

4 Likes
278

FU and your faster pony. I was just coming to post that yesterday brought a new eligible.

:cowboy_hat_face:

1 Like