Am I up? I am ready to pick but can’t do the writeup today.
You come after me I think. EB, Then me and you
I’m not selecting the first US president of this draft, but I’d say he’s the biggest asshole.
Andrew Jackson
This guy is a dick for many reasons even before he got to the presidency, but I’m just going to focus on that part of his life.
Now it’s well known that the political structure in the United States didn’t exactly treat the natives well. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson among others thought that the best way to handle the native tribes was to “civilize” them in the ways of the white man. These civilization steps included the acceptance of Christianity and learning to read and write English. As absurd as these requirements were, some of the natives actually did adopt these customs and became known as the “Five Civilized Tribes” in exchange for being considered largely autonomous from the federal government.
But that wasn’t good enough for my 3rd round pick. These tribes of the southeastern US controlled a lot of very valuable farmland that white settlers could use to grow cash crops, with the (I guess we’ll call it) assistance of some black people that they owned.
So Jackson had an idea: Move the tribes to Oklahoma.
He got the Indian Removal Act (great name, huh?) passed in 1830 and the forced relocation process began. The Cherokee fought this act all the way to the Supreme Court, and even earned a few victories. In response one of these cases (Worcester v Georgia), Jackson’s response was “(Chief Justice) John Marshall has made his decision; now let him enforce it”.
Despite some resistance, such as the Seminole Wars, the relocations continued throughout the 1830s. In what is now known as the Trail of Tears, up to a quarter of these tribes died in their march westward, mostly from disease. Those that survived found the climate of Oklahoma much different from that of their lands they had occupied for centuries and struggled with their agriculture.
And while there’s not a continent-wide admiration for Jackson like there is with Columbus, his name still graces many parts of this country, including a state capital, the largest city in Florida and counties in 21 states. And to this day, he’s still on the fucking $20 bill.
And if any of this didn’t convince you that he’s an asshole, I’ll leave you with one last fact: Andrew Jackson is Donald Trump’s favorite president.
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Bah, I was taking him next. Nice pick.
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Ill take Jim Jones
He won’t have the biggest body count, and he wont be the most outspoken of the assholes on this list, but the things he did to his cult members are barbaric and sickening, even to the leadup of the massacre at Jonestown.
Nearly 1/3 of the people killed in Jonestown were under 18.
What most people don’t know is that 70% of people’s Temple members were black. Jones preyed upon the weakest and most vulnerable sectors of our population, funding his projects through stealing social security and welfare checks of his members.
In the end, they had a chance to survive. To get out. Jones was sick, very sick. Instead of dying off and the people getting out, he did what every great asshole does. He decided to take everyone with him.
And who were some of the only people to survive the massacre? If you guessed his immediate family members, you’re right! Specifically his three sons.
Also, who wears sunglasses like this?
What an asshole
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I’m taking Lee Atwater. Gotta have a US political figure to round out the squad. Writeup later. Cliffs are Southern Strategy, Willie Horton and pretending to be born again when he got terminally ill at 40. What an asshole.
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Andrew Jackson is a great pick. Huge value no matter what round you take him.
I take Ronald Reagan. I’ll write it up later because I want to keep this moving and I need time to do his complete and utter assholery justice.
@LFS is up.
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Nobody deserves that!
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That’s like taking Newt. Except Lee is DEAD.
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Reagan is a good choice, though a lot of his assholery is centered around other people taking advantage of a demented old fuck
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That’s not really assholery.
Yea Reagan was more senile than asshole.
Nah he was a complete asshole too. Nowhere near the list of biggest assholes of all time imo, but definitely an asshole.
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This may be spew, but I’m taking Jerry Falwell Sr. Just such a fucking asshole.
Christopher Hitchens — ‘If you gave Jerry Falwell an enema he could be buried in a matchbox.’
Falwell on AIDS: “AIDS is not just God’s punishment for homosexuals; it is God’s punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals.”
Falwell on feminism: “I listen to feminists and all these radical gals – most of them are failures. They’ve blown it. Some of them have been married, but they married some Casper Milquetoast who asked permission to go to the bathroom. These women just need a man in the house. That’s all they need. Most of the feminists need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home. And they blew it and they’re mad at all men. Feminists hate men. They’re sexist. They hate men – that’s their problem.”
Falwell on the ACLU: “The ACLU is to Christians what the American Nazi party is to Jews.”
Falwell on global warming: “The whole global warming thing is created to destroy America’s free enterprise system and our economic stability.”
Falwell on civil rights leaders: “I do question the sincerity and nonviolent intentions of some civil rights leaders such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mr. James Farmer, and others, who are known to have left-wing associations.”
Falwell on Brown v Board of Education: “If Chief Justice Warren and his associates had known God’s word and had desired to do the Lord’s will, I am quite confident that the 1954 decision would never have been made. The facilities should be separate. When God has drawn a line of distinction, we should not attempt to cross that line.”
Falwell’s take on 9/11: “I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say ‘you helped this happen.’”
Falwell on unions: “Labor unions should study and read the Bible instead of asking for more money. When people get right with God, they are better workers.”
@superuberbob is up.
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“To see those, those monkeys from those African countries—damn them, they’re still uncomfortable wearing shoes!” - Reagan
He was always a racist asshole.
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Yea I should have worded it better. He doesn’t really belong on a list like this. There are A LOT of bigger assholes out there.