Did he drop because of a torn ACL? I expect a full dissertation on Animal Farm and the rise of Stalin and the Soviet system in the write-up.
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It’s ok that Stalin wasn’t picked earlier. He was hot when he was young. We all know hotness is a mitigating factor.
A too-quick reading made me see this as “temporarily cruel.” Quite a hot take!
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Lol same.
Stalin was my #1 guy but after reading about Columbus, he’s now #2.
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Name the man who:
-Is directly responsible for murdering 11% of the world’s population?
-Conquered 15% of the Earth’s land, creating the largest contiguous empire in human history?
-Has 16 million male descendants currently alive today due to his rapacious behavior towards his estimated 500 concubines?
-Was so psychotically evil at such a young age that he killed his half-brother over a fish as a 14 year old?
-Is adored by his countrymen despite the above?
Team Superuberevil selects
Temujin (a.k.a. Genghis Khan)
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Definitely a first round pick. His evil was monstrous.
Forgot this was a snake draft. Got some thinking to do.
Guys don’t go too hard on these fellas otherwise Trump starts looking like a decent person.
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Look, there are limitless options for murderous dictators out there. And sure, they’re all assholes. But this draft isn’t about body count, its about the essence of the subject’s true personality. See, you all but have to be a sociopath in order to become a butchering dictator. Which arguably partially excuses the ensuing behavior. Getting mad at a sociopath for not having empathy is like getting mad at an infant for crying.
This person does not appear to be a sociopath or have any advanced personality disorders. He is, of course, a baby boomer, born in 1943 in Harrisburg, PA. In what should have been a warning sign, his first wife was his high school math teacher, whom he started, uh, seeing while still enrolled as her student. He then received several deferments from the Vietnam War on account of being a white guy who didn’t feel like going, though decades later he said “given what I believe, a part of me thinks I should have gone.” Profiles in courage.
While I could detail this man’s early political career, lets focus on his personal life instead (though the two intersect). After marrying the aforementioned math teacher, he began cheating on her. With everyone. When his wife, got cancer, this person saw an opportunity. Take it away Wikipedia:
Throughout his congressional campaign in 1974, DRAFTED was having an affair with a young volunteer. An aide who worked with DRAFTED throughout the 1970s stated that “it was common knowledge that DRAFTED was involved with other women during his marriage to Jackie.” In the spring of 1980, DRAFTED filed for divorce from Jackie after beginning an affair with Marianne Ginther. Jackie later said in 1984 that the divorce was a “complete surprise” to her.
In September 1980, according to friends who knew them both, DRAFTED visited Jackie in the hospital the day after she had undergone surgery to treat her; once there, DRAFTED began talking about the terms of their divorce, at which point Jackie threw him out of the room. DRAFTED disputed that account. Although DRAFTED’s presidential campaign staff continued to insist in 2011 that Jackie had requested the divorce, court documents from Carroll County, Georgia, indicated that Jackie had in fact asked a judge to block the process, stating that although “she has adequate and ample grounds for divorce … she does not desire one at this time [and] does not admit that this marriage is irretrievably broken.”
Following the divorce, Jackie had to raise money from friends in her congregation to help her and the children make ends meet; she later filed a petition in court stating that DRAFTED had failed to properly provide for his family. DRAFTED submitted a financial statement to the judge, which showed that he had been “providing only $400 a month, plus $40 in allowances for his daughters. He claimed not to be able to afford any more. But in citing his own expenses, DRAFTED listed $400 just for ‘Food / dry cleaning, etc.’—for one person.” In 1981, a judge ordered DRAFTED to provide considerably more; in 1993, Jackie stated in court that DRAFTED had failed to obey the 1981 order “from the day it was issued.”
DRAFTED immediately married another woman and immediately began cheating on her, including with an aide 20+ years younger. Predictably, DRAFTED divorced wife #2 shortly after she was diagnosed to MS (and after refusing an open marriage), and while sanctimoniously leading legislative efforts to impeach then President Bill Clinton for extramarital affairs.
DRAFTED later said, literally, that he cheated on all his wifes because “There’s no question at times in my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate.” If that’s not an asshole quote, what is!?
NEWT
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Wait, Newt’s dead? Time to celebrate!
Newt is still alive, no?
They HAVE to be dead? Oh shit.
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I tried to tell them to call this the biggest dead assholes of all time draft!
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[redacted] lol
I’m dying. Is that a troll??? We waited all that time for a pick that’s not even eligible?
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Newt’s been dead to me for a long time!
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The #1 pick of the currently living assholes for reference
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Chuckles did an excellent write up on Newt in the previous draft. No hate at all for Riverman reiterated what a raging asshole this guy is.