It’s not my thread, and I’m not telling you to leave or anything. But a common baseline theme of AA / recovery is a desire to quit. Just my .02
I’m not really sure that’s true. A lot of people are court ordered to go to AA, a lot of people go because their families make them go. I think the common baseline is “having been told to quit”, not “a desire to quit”, but I could be wrong.
From the twelve traditions
“ The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking”
But yea. When I attended the most, it was court ordered.
Why is it wrong to want to talk about your relationship with alcohol if you don’t want to quit alcohol? Seems like there is a whole stigma about that. Can I talk about my relationship with alcohol without expressing a desire to quit?
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If you don’t have a desire to quit, do you at least have a desire to get better?
I ask this as someone who does drink but has never been viewed as or shown any signs of being an alcoholic. So I don’t completely understand that side of things, but I’m trying to understand yours. It’s why I brought up the addictive personality and possibly seeking out a psychologist, because interest in that would show at least a desire to be better.
I think usually, alcohol is a symptom, not a cause. It’s pretty easy for me to go around saying “I’m an alcoholic” as a little hidey hole for all the things I’ve actually fucked up. Take that for what it’s worth.
That’s not what he said tho. He said, “in a recovery thread.”
I assume you can understand with that distinction.
Society is filled with people glorifying alcohol use without expressing a desire to quit. I don’t think there’s an actual stigma to do so, it’s just a matter of setting. (And I know with your life experience what you’re speaking about has validity compared to society as a whole.)
I assume jwax doesn’t realize you were invited here from others in the mod thread. I thought about that, whether there should be a similar but separate thread for this discussion. This being a legacy thread makes it a little unique in terms of community moderation and @LFS might want to chime in if possible.
LFS can reply but typically there haven’t been rules for posting in this thread vis a vis intentions, it’s a place for people to discuss the possibility of reducing or eliminating alcohol intake rather than a recovery thread per se.
This is well understood in the recovery community FWIW. I can never remember where I read this little saying but, paraphrasing, the difference between a problem drinker and an alcoholic is that for a problem drinker, stopping drinking solves their problem. For an alcoholic, it’s step one in solving the underlying problems. You could regard alcoholism as an executive-function disorder of which excessive alcohol intake is one manifestation.
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I can also highly recommend the r/StopDrinking subreddit, which also doesn’t require that you intend to quit to post there, although it is against sub rules to post while intoxicated. I can’t remember but it might be required that you at least have the intention to reduce intake.
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This is not AA. d2 is welcome, as is anyone, to come in here and discuss their relationship with alcohol.
Even if this were AA, you need to want to stop drinking to complete step 1, not to attend a meeting. Otherwise, every meeting I’ve been to welcomed all comers (with the exception when a meeting is specified as “closed”).
Often the first step to being ready and willing to stop drinking is in finding a safe place to discuss your relationship with alcohol among others focused on the same thing. You have to be able to take an honest look at your relationship before you can decide whether you want to do anything about it, and then what your options might yet be to make amends and start a new path.
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Just speaking for me. I understand the title is specifically “Quitting” and will respect others wishes if the will of the people is to keep this thread only for those who are engaged in Step One.
I fixed the title, cheers
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When I was about 6 or 7, my family was stationed in Germany and we lived in a German house with a German couple who’s grown kids lived in the house next door. They had a cherry orchard in the backyard and we lived on the top floor where a couple of bedrooms were. My memory of the place is pretty limited because of my age. However, I remember getting my first and only spanking in this house. Also we had dinner with the German family one night and there were brandied strawberries as the dessert. I had the strawberries and my family laughed at me being obviously drunk. I don’t remember when the next time was but probably around 13 or 14. I was at a neighbors house and his dad kept liquor on top of their fridge. I didn’t usually hang out with this neighbor but we had a couple swigs.
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It was what I was supposed to do. I went to FSU when we were the #1 party school and I never left Tallahassee. It was just what we did. Everyone goes out to bars. Everyone goes to parties. It is expected that you drink. If you don’t drink then you aren’t normal. I started to go to church a few years back and I remember going to a football game at my sunday school teachers house. It was the first football party I had ever been to in Tallahassee with no drinking. I was probably 37 or 38.
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It basically dominated everything about my life. I’m glad its gone. I can be myself, sans a small feeling of normalcy and I probably wasn’t going to feel normal anyway.
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This feels a bit like I’m talking “at” people, not “to” people, but here goes.
I watched “Orange is the new black” recently. Empathy is not usually my thing, but fuck, what a show. I actually empathised with the characters. Obviously, the lesbian sex scenes didn’t hurt, but the dialogue was amazing.
I kinda binged it and got so shitfaced that I had to re-watch the last 3 episodes, because I couldn’t remember what happened, for which my friends took a lot of fun out of of me.
Also, why am I posting this in this thread? Oh yeah, I remember, it’s because I get shitfaced and forget what is appropriate and where and when. Ok, well, gl, I’m your problem now.
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This post is amazing, I literally can’t stop re-reading it.
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Glad to see reading all this has interest to you.
It was the same for me. I always knew I had to quit drinking, it was going to be a matter of when. I started reading the same thread on 2p2 a couple of years ago. I haven’t done so religiously but it was one of the initial catalysts to eventually get where I needed to get. Not being presumptuous long term but my intake has been drastically reduced over the time I’m talking about, which is what has allowed reluctant acceptance coupled with encouragement at home. My improving act was wearing extremely thin tho.
Bottom line is that LFS is going to have quite the list of souls he’s helped save along the way. Which probably puts additional pressure on him personally (may be a good thing, I don’t know) but regardless of what he does from here, great work has been done.
Also, Chris, if you read this: you were right, I was wrong. Mariah’s biggest whatever the discussion was is objectively the xmas song. My argument of how it wasn’t even on her greatest hits album (ftmp) still has merit tho.
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Dude, it was a good post, The fuck is up with all the people deleting their own posts in this thread? Almost like a bunch of alcoholics having second thoughts about everything they say, or something.
It was a good post, dude. Let it stand.
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K, thanks. I’m neurotic by nature.
Never phrased that before. Sounds like a Weird Al styled, rap cover band.
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You do strike me as a bit White and Nerdy, but it’s ok, you can go back to your Irish Paradise.
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You rethink things twice and thrice living in an Irish Paradise
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