Attack of the Clones is better than The Force Awakens? King George has called to ask why you have set sights on his crown.
It feels to me like the plans for TRoS were greatly hampered by the death of Carrie Fisher. Thatās something that had to be worked around.
If I were to approach this as a writer, I would guess that my marching orders are to include the return of Palpatine, the redemption of Ben Solo, and Rey taking on the last name of Skywalker, so I would treat those as non-negotiable points that I would be obligated to include. Letās also say my goal is retain as much of the old movie as possible. This is a quick first draft outline of what such a movie might look like.
Iād open in media res with Poe, Finn, and Rose leading a raid to obtain a McGuffin. In the process, someone on the team somehow witnesses a holo-conversation between Kylo Ren and Palpatine. Realizing that the return of Palpatine is news that must be brought back to Leia, the team fights its way out at great cost. We can include General Hux as a spy in this part of the story, explaining how they are able to escape.
Once back, it is determined that the key is the mention of the planet Exegol. Rey recognizes the name from her studies. We can keep the fan service return of Lando, the search for the Sith Wayfinder, and the battle among the ruins of the second Death Star here in some form, along with Rey healing Kylo Ren and his change of heart.
Meanwhile, on a parallel mission, Poe and Finn lead a raid on a data mining planet, meant to provide an avenue for social commentary about Facebook/Google/Twitter, to search for additional information about Exegol. They reluctantly bring along DJ, who will do anything for money, because his skills are needed, but successfully anticipate his willingness to save his own skin and use that to create a decoy that allows them to escape, while DJ ends up in the hands of the planetās authorities.
Rey, Poe, and Finn share information via holo. Figuring out that Palpatine is building some sort of massive fleet that will be operational soon, Rey decides that she needs to head for Exegol right away while Poe and Finn determine that they need to mobilize some sort of fleet in support of her. There should probably also be some sharing of information about physical barriers to getting to Exegol to make Poe and Finnās mission seem necessary.
Instead of Rey being the grandchild of Palpatine, the risen emperor reveals to her that she is an anomaly in the Force. There was one like her before, but he ruined himself as a potential vessel before Palpatine could take full advantage of him. Now, there is Rey, who burns so brightly, as if she is a gift from the Force itself for him. Maybe she exists because she was meant to stop him, she counters. We can keep some sort of fight between Rey and Palpatine, Ben Solo entering the fray after fighting through the Knights of Ren, and Ben sacrificing himself to revive Rey.
The epilogue can have Rey going to Tatooine to bury the lightsabers of Luke and Leia. When Lukeās force ghost appears and asks her where she will go, she says that she is nobody, an orphan with no last name, and she will find some place where she can fade away in peace. Luke tells her that she is somebody, that names donāt matter, but if she really wants one, she can have his because heās not using it anymore. The Force moves and the universe moves with it. There is no such thing as true peace in life. She can take time to rest, for now. Use his place on Ahch-To, since no one is using that either, but she will eventually feel restless and the Force will lead her to whatever else she is meant to do.
After he disappears and Rey thinks about it, a passer-by asks for her name. In that moment, she chooses to adopt the last name Skywalker.
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Iāve got 5>8>6=4>3>2=7=9>1
What puts Rise above Menace? Or what puts Menace below Rise if thatās the meaningful way to ask.
I appreciate you writing this out and will look forward to experiencing it with my morning coffee.
A lot of The Phantom Menace just seems non-essential and not something worth re-watching as mindless fun the way Solo is. The only part that feels re-watchable is the ending fight against Darth Maul, which has relevance if you watch the Clone Wars cartoon. If youāve heard of the Machete Order for watching Star Wars, it even leaves out Episode I entirely. The Rise of Skywalker at least has large segments that are still salvageable, as seen in my re-write, and remains essential to the overall storyline.
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Iāve recently finished the animated Clone Wars and Rebels series and itās too bad those creative minds didnāt get the chance to do the latest Trilogy. A lot of the same group responsible for Mandalorian. And if people are going to get the most out of some of upcoming series, Clone Wars and Rebels will become must see.
I bet they could even re-cut I, II, III into 2 legitimately good movies.
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Never thought anyone would ever say this after Episodes I, II and III but the mistake with TFA and the subsequent mess was ignoring Georgeās treatments that he sold to Disney with the franchise. There are a bunch of different summaries of what Lucas had in mind, and they read miles and miles more interesting than the tired and lazy retread we were subjected to.
Hereās one of many,
Trying to rescue this turd by the time IX rolls around was futile and academic. The driod Rey would have been as reasonable as anything.
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I mean youāre right to a certain extent, of course. But Iām just telling you how I felt watching TFA ā exhilarated. And I donāt think Abrams was contemptuous of Star Wars, if anything he was kind of obsequious in his fan service. Which he did because I donāt think he actually understands Star Wars, just like he doesāt understand or care about Star Trek. He was just, like, I want to make a fun movie that evokes certain nostalgic feelings. And he did.
Yeah for sure
Itās not a complete ranking of SW movies if you leave out the Wilford Brimley movies.
The only ones I will re-watch through are 4-5-6 and R1. The rest if I catch certain set pieces like the pod racing or Anakins full turn to the dark side.
7 is such a remake of 4 as to be ridiculous.
Totally concur someone should take a new swing at 7-8-9 and ignore the ones already made.
Too bad, Daisy Ridley I think had the ability to carry a story with Poe and Finn but they set it up and then pfffft. Iād rather start at a point where the Republic is in charge and the remnants of the empire are the terrorists trying to get back in power.
Oh wait. Thatās the Mandalorian.
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???
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Yeah I donāt think Iāve rewatched any of the movies in their entirety other than those four. I think ROTS would probably be a solid enough rewatch but I honestly just havenāt ever felt a crazy need to seek it out again, which is pretty damning in and of itself. At some point the wife and I were thinking about subjecting ourselves to a full 9-movie rewatch on D+ just to say we did, and maybe get a fresh perspective on everything.
Pod racing scene is utter trash IMO and I think Iād like TPM better if I just skipped it lol.
I think the real mistake was waiting 30-40 years after Episode 6. Lucas should have continued 7 immediately.
Just spitballing, but you could have killed Solo off in E7. Harrison Ford wanted the character to die anyway. E8 could have been Leia going down the dark side in anger/revenge over Soloās death and E9 could have been Luke/Leia fighting each other.
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I guess if the prequels had been better received, itās possible Lucas would have dove right in and started working on 7 after 3 came out. Among other things, youād get 7-8 years younger versions of the main actors, which I think would have helped a lot in terms of giving them bigger/meatier parts than they had. And while I love Carrie Fisher and think itās a damn shame she didnāt survive to film TROS, I just got a huge āgrandmaā vibe from her in 7/8 and felt like she was a few years too old to be playing an active General (or whatever her title was).
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Fwiw Topher Grace got bored one weekend while his wife was out of town and edited all ten movies (made before Rise of Skywalker) into one supercut trailer called Star Wars: Always. The trailer uses a variety of deleted scenes, alternate takes, and magical footage to make you experience the movies the way they could have been.
It. Is. AMAZING.
The music choices are inspired.
Youāll watch it and be like holy shit, I forgot the prequels were so awesome!!! And who knew there was a way to frame TFA/TLS so as to be unimpeachable? Seen amidst the grand scope of just how long the Skywalkers have been at war with the dark side of the Force, Lukeās weary angst suddenly feels normal and expected.
Itās five minutes youāll be glad you spent watching this.
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Youāre all just better off letting go of Star Wars. Go watch The Expanse instead.
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You might be right there, especially if heād been able to continue with the same creative team. Keep Irvin Kirshner as director and Lawrence Kasdan as screenwriter to help shape Georgeās silliest creative decisions.
I sort-of understand though why it didnāt happen. When Return of the Jedi released, George had just turned 39. He could see the impact the decisions he would now make would have on the next ten years and, thanks to the galactic success of Star Wars, well beyond a decade or even his lifetime. He wanted MORE than Star Wars.
And he got it. For the next fourteen years, he contributed to massive achievements (and occasionally massive failures) that still live with us today. He worked extensively as a writer, producer, and technology engineer reminiscent of Steve Jobs.
(The parallel to Steve Jobs has a neat synergy: the animation studio Pixar was founded in 1979 as the Graphics Group, one third of the Computer Division of Lucasfilm, resulting in the groundbreaking special effects used in movies like Star Trek II: the Wrath of Khan.)
From the time Star Wars took off to the end of the 90s, Lucas delivered an astonishing amount of non-SW content. Iāve included a couple of SW pieces for context.
More American Graffiti (1979)
Kurosawaās Kagemusha (1980)
The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
The Return of the Jedi (1983)
Ewoks: Caravan of Courage (1984)
Ewoks: Battle for Endor (1985)
Willard Huyckās Howard the Duck (1986)
Jim Hensonās Labyrinth (1986)
Godfrey Reggioās Powaqqatsi (1986)
Willow (1988)
Tucker: The Man and His Dream (1988)
The Land Before Time (1988)
The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles (1992ā96)
Radioland Murders (1994)
THE RETURN OF THE GEORGE
Now this gets us to 1994, and do you know what happened then? Star Wars was a flagging franchise. It was a loser. It still sold okay but had dramatically dropped in favor after the release of Return of the Jedi.
But then two stories were released to massive acclaim.
- The Timothy Zahn trilogy, whose beloved characters are now sort-of being introduced in The Mandalorian
- Dark Horseās acclaimed run of Star Wars comics
And so Lucas returned to Star Wars. He began his controversial revamping of the original trilogy. The first theatrical Special Edition came out in 1997, a mere three years after he took a break from his insane volume of non-SW projects.
And around that time he also began production on Episodes I, II, and III, with The Phantom Menace releasing in 1999. He remained heavily involved with all Star Wars properties until 2013, when he turned 70 and realized if he wrote/directed/anything in the sequel trilogy, that would be the last major project of his life. Did he want to do something else?
Could he have poured all of that energy into Star Wars as soon as RotJ ended? Sure, but think of all of the other things weād have missed out on from him. We at least got three pretty amazing Star Wars movies. The rest are varying qualities of fan fiction, and Iām okay with that.
We all get a limited amount of time on this planet. George Lucas has given us more good Star Wars than anyone expected when A New Hope first released. So he hand picked JJ Abrams, participated in story discussions, handed over his outlines for the sequelsāand then decided to let others serve as stewards. He canāt even lay too much criticism at their feet. Heās gotten Star Wars wrong plenty of times, too.
ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS
FWIW1: Despite Lucas hand picking JJ Abrams, he decried The Force Awakens as āretroā and said selling Star Wars to Disney was like selling his ākidsā¦to the white slavers that take these things." Jesus Christ, George!!!
They wanted to do a retro movie. I donāt like thatā¦ When Star Wars came out, everyone said, āOh itās just a silly movie with a bunch of space battles and stuff. Itās not real. Thereās nothing behind it.ā And I said ā¦ āThereās more to it than that. Itās much more complicated than that.ā But nobody would listen. So the spaceships and that part of the science fantasy, whatever, got terribly abused. And of course, everybody went out and made spaceship movies. And they were all horrible, and they all lost tons of money.
FWIW 2: All of you George Lovers/The Last Jedi Haters can STFU. George said TFA sucks but TLJ was ābeautifully made.ā
FWIW 3: Think too about what was happening in Georgeās life in 1983, the year he decided he needed a break from Star Wars. Thatās the year he and Marcia divorced. It was a costly separation, but more than money, it brought into stark relief his creative limitations.
If Iām being honest, I think George got scared. George has always sucked at telling Star Wars stories. He has! The original cut of A New Hope was fucking TERRIBLE. Like, it was nigh unwatchable. Boring in every way you donāt want to imagine. Marcia had already helped turn a terrible script into a potentially great script, but the movie didnāt come together until she took an abomination and recut it into the well-paced, hilarious, inspiring movie we all remember.
This is possibly the single greatest editing contribution Marcia Lucas made to Star Wars . Although the film has two other credited editors, Marcia Lucas focused on editing the final ātrench runā on the Death Star. Many say she saved the entire final act by adding a sense of urgency. In the book The Secret History of Star Wars , author Michael Kaminski says āThe Death Star trench run was originally scripted entirely different, with Luke having two runs at the exhaust port; Marcia had re-ordered the shots almost from the ground up, trying to build tension lacking in the original scripted sequence.ā
Marcia almost never talks about Star Wars publicly, but a couple of years ago, we got a rare treat.
BONUS FWIW: Anyone wondering why season 8 of Game of Thrones sucked so hard can stop blaming Benoiff and Weiss.
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In the usual fashion, āThe Believerā included concept art from the episodeās biggest moments that played out over the credits, and Oscar Isaac appears twice in the place of pirate aliens. The concept art reveals a couple of looks at the pirate attack on the Juggernauts (including Din Djarin and Mayfeld in their normal clothes and not the transport crew disguises strangely) and a close look at the barges they fly to attack the convoy. In place of the distinctive aliens, however, the artists have included the very familiar figure of Oscar Isaacās swash-buckling Rebel leader.
