2023 LC Thread - It was predetermined that I would change the thread title (Part 1)

You can’t even buy one car in 30 min. Too much paperwork. I guess if you’re allowed to make a verbal contract with the sales person for a bunch of cars and that counts as “buying them”, then that would be a good strategy.

That’s because everyone is answering the follow-up question, “Ok, but assume that’s not allowed”.

This is a question for proles.

Need a ruling on this because that would be my plan I think. Maybe a diamond wholesaler type place if you’re in a big city? I would imagine plain diamonds are better than buying jewelry.

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Step 1: Call one of my attorney friends, tell them to meet me at the US Mint in 20 minutes.

Step 2: Walk to the coin store at the Mint, tell them I want to buy $750k worth of gold, in whatever form is easiest for them

Step 3: Start filling out the inevitable AML paperwork

Step 4: When my friend arrives, give them $250k as retainer for helping me fill out the paperwork, and to advise me in case of tax or other legal issues that may arise from this transaction.

I’d buy my mom a car and spend the rest on PCP.

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Hookers and blow. And the rest I would squander.

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Serious answer though. I think people are massively overestimating how much you can do in 30 minutes.

You need to form a plan, search for a place, walk/drive, engage people and convince them you arent nuts, AND complete a transaction.

Theres an expensive bike store outside my condo. I reckon I could get in there, place an order for 1 million worth of bikes and hand over the cash in 30 minutes. But will be tight.

The other option is the wine store across the road.

Ya you pretty much need to get a store fast that sells expensive big ticket items with no/minimal paper work. So if you can get to a jewelry store quick enough that would be the best option. There are a couple within 10 to 15 minutes of me so that’s what I would try.

Of course a forum filled with experienced poker players is going to look for every angle they can shoot on this.

What if we changed the parameters. You get $1 million in cash. You now have six hours (during normal business hours). You get to keep anything you can get back home before the six hours are over. (Only goods, no services, nothing digital.) You lose any cash you don’t spend. You can’t return anything for a refund and get the cash value later, but you can resell it.

A jewelry store probably would give you the jewelry without checking the cash wasnt fake and/or stolen. You’re gonna get delayed I would guess.

I think you want to place an order for something and pay cash.

What would have the best resale value? I’m guessing expensive jewelry actually does pretty poorly second hand

6 hours is easy. And you could even deposit to the bank and avoid the cash issues.

No depositing. You must exchange cash for physical goods and have them home by the time the six hours are up.

Best resale value would be if you have a Rolex store in your city. I guess that’s why there are so many in Vegas, so people can turn cash that they don’t want to carry with them into watches that hold their value.

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Maybe second hand cars?

Given where I live, not having a car, and having fucked up my ankle the other day best I can do in 30 minutes is buy up everything at the tiny liquor and tobacco store outside my apartment community and if there’s any extra time hobble to the small convenience at the corner of the block. I don’t think either shelves any foreign booze, just cheap domestic Chinese stuff.

Might end up with 5 figures of resale value, assuming storage isn’t an issue.

Wait, no, 100 x $10 isn’t 10 grand. Damn.

Buy a house for cash, have an attorney draft a quitclaim deed.

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Buy a bunch of Trump NFTs, ldo.

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When we say “cash” do you mean an actual brief case full of bills? I think it would be very hard to get someone to take that much in physical money in 30 minutes, I would imagine many vendors would spend more than 30 minutes consulting with their banks on whether there’s any policies against large cash transactions.

A sketchy jewel dealer might be happy to give you $500,000 of jewelry for $1 million cash on the spot.

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