Need to hear more about both these takes
I don’t feel strongly about the one I posted, I just think it’s gotta be worse than online dating sites.
The general argument on the porn one is that it fosters unrealistic expectations. Also addictions are a problem, which I’m sure can’t be great for real relationships.
What do you have that beats these?
Nothing I was just curious, I could see porn but hard for me to see online dating as bad, it seems like it allows for much better matches than you would find before randomly
Yeah, I agree with that. It’s hard for me to buy that online dating is even net negative, but I can imagine that argument. “Worst thing” ever seems impossible to swallow.
Facebook truly the WOAT
I tried online dating prepandemic, but it wasn’t for me. I’m too sensitive to things like ghosting, etc. Made me feel like crap.
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Online dating has increased the number of top-level dating outcomes but also increased the number of nut-low dating outcomes.
My hot take is that online dating is fine, I’ve known a few married couples that met that way.
Online dating is great. Haven’t had much luck, but a lot more than offline.
Met my current gf more than 10 years ago using OkCupid. I have no idea what the kids are using these days but am a big fan of interweb dating considering how much fun I had at the time and how well it worked out for us.
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The good thing about online dating is kinda also the bad part.
Good: Exposure to more people theoretically makes it more likely to find a match. Also the algorithms should in theory serve up better matches than random (but people who believe that opposites attract or that partners should be complementary rather than similar might dispute that).
Bad: Access to lots of people can make people too picky and willing to bail and the first sign of trouble instead of sticking around and actually working on the relationship/learning how to compromise (a skill that comes in pretty handy in long term relationships).
I wouldn’t say it’s the worst thing that’s happened to dating, but the apps have definitely changed dating, and not all of the changes are positive.
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Glad I just met my future wife at work and never had to deal with the online dating scene. Sounds like a goddamn nightmare.
My guess is that online dating and social media has made it better for LBGT and other people who are looking for something non-traditional and made it harder for people looking for a very traditional relationship because people have more options now and can draw upon a wider pool of possible matches.
Yeah I might try it again this winter. I don’t really get myself into situations as a 30yo+ anymore to meet new people outside of work right now.
I also don’t really care that much if I meet someone which does provide inertia
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I met my current gf of 3 years on Hinge and had pretty good success using online dating for about a year leading up to it (and I mean success as in it was a reasonable way to meet cool people, not as in I was getting a bunch of sex).
I think expectations are key–I used the dating apps as an ice breaker, rather than a conversation, and if we hadn’t scheduled an in-person meet-up within 10 or so messages I’d just move on. The result was like an improved version of meeting girls at bars because we were still mostly strangers but we’d both already expressed some sort of interest in each other before meeting.
Still, I had tons of shitty first dates, got ghosted a couple times (not as many times as I thought I’d be), and had a handful of decent 2nd, 3rd, and more dates before meeting my current partner. My goal was one date a week, whether it was with someone new or was a repeat date with someone I’d met before. I probably ended up doing more like one date every other week, but that was fine.
Edit: should mention that this was as a ~30yo primarily dating women in their late 20s in a major metropolitan area. Ymmv
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Outside of my personal experience I can see a lot of negatives with online dating, like I get all the frustration people have with it. I think backlash against it tends to get a little incel-y though. The positives outweigh the negatives.
Also sorry for the triple post but I forgot about this thread! You all gave me some good advice in here maybe a year and a half ago. Good stuff.
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Porn addiction doesn’t exist. It’s right wing Christian made up bs. There is no actual research to support its real.
Online dating is great is you just accept rejection is part of it. Like suck outs in poker. It’s built in. It’s the PLO of social interactions. 
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Really? I admit that I know nothing about it, but I have heard it discussed and it seems plausible, so I assumed it was a thing.