https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1292886763690745859?s=20
Listen here you little shit
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Well twitter works from the bunker.
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Heâs back. Secret Service shot someone.
Hes back!
Apparently I was wrong and there was a shooting. Source: Trump, so could be completely made up.
Oh no.
Today, he became President!
God the press is so insufferable. Theyâre willing to interrupt him for this bullshit, but never, ever when hes spewing bullshit for hours at a time?
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Too bad this shooting is gonna give him the adrenaline he needs on a day it sounded like he was maybe gonna drift into a snowbank. Oh well, next time!
Not sure if you know, but have you ever downed a bunch of coffee and then tried to drive home from the bar? We could be in for some fireworks 
Everything he says is a lie. Everything. Every single statement is untrue.
âA lot of plants are being built in Michigan and Ohio.â
âName one.â
Odds he gets asked about his âtwo weeksâ health plan: +1900
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He sounds extremely bored.
âresolvementâ
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Capital gains tax cut! lolololololol
Nor is he giving a DNA sample ever.
LOL I have bad news for you. Unless someone takes him by force, he isnât doing shit.
âYouâll be hearing about that in a few weeks.â
They need to keep a log of the âin a few weeksâ statements and ask him about every single one. They wont because theyre terrible at their jobs.
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Me: Iâm taking another news break.
2020: Shots fired at the White House.
Me: 
2020: LOL fuck you, hereâs Daddy back at the podium.
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Iâm sure it will all be resolved in two or so weeks
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âMr. President, why do we have 25% of the worldâs COVID deaths?â
This is a very simple question. Ask it.