The 2024 Hurricane Season - Helene’s History; Milton’s Menacing

I think if you are careful you are fine. I have a Jamaica story that would take some typing from a wedding just a few years ago where I really legitimately thought I was going to die for a bit.

Like, I’m never following some dude down a dark alley for weed when tits are out on the strip. Sell it to me here asshole.

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Redacted for privacy.

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Nailed it.

I’ll go during jazz fest if people I know are there any year after COVID. My friends all have kids and therefore more responsibilities and less money so my usual issues are getting people to go with me.

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He said he wanted to go with cool people.

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I’d hang with anyone here anytime. Even InsoO. I think cuse would be great to party with. He gets into his arguments though but I can always tune that out. I’d force a convo with InsOO if we were out. I’m that guy, so I get cuse’s actions. Because I do cuse in real life and don’t let shit rest, I probably should have been beat up several times but somehow it works.

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my buddy did this last year but he was buying coke, i think it was an alley behind some pizza joint on Bourbon, feel like it wasn’t the greatest idea in the world. He can be anywhere and somehow end up with whatever drugs he wants, a skill I defintely don’t have.

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I said I got robbed by a stripper for $7, how much cooler does it get?

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I’d hang out with Inso0 in New Orleans, but only to take him for a walk on the other side of Rampart St and wish him the best of luck.

Yeah dude, I’ve always done drug deals right in bars in foreign cities. Or the smoking area outside or something public. Any dealer asking you to go to an alley is going to fucking rob you.

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I’ve been offered the opportunity to buy coke in some really weird places that left me scratching my head. I’ve never even tried it, but I must give off some kind of vibe.

I edited that because I’m a psychedelic pothead and usually never buy coke. I’ll do coke though if it’s good. It usually isn’t. I’ve had several hundred more weed deals than coke in my life and none of the coke deals have been with people I don’t know. Except Jamaica where you buy 8-balls on the beach. Different game there.

I feel like you are going to tell me it was Jamaica or a Caribbean beach where you got offered coke. They do that to every single person that walks by and you can get it at half price if you haggle a bit. I’ve never had bad Jamaica coke yet though.

That reminds me of Barcelona. We were walking up the beach and some dudes offered us coke, when we said no they offered us sandwiches lol… Then a hooker approached as we neared the casino. I had some extra cash in my pocket in case I hit up the poker room.

I kept saying “No, gracias,” but she was not taking no for an answer. She started walking next to me and tried to grab my hand, so I put my hands in my pockets to protect my wallet and cash, as there are a lot of pick pockets in the touristy areas of Barcelona. “Lo siento, no gracias.”

She then linked her arm through mine and slinked right up next to me and told me how much fun we’d have. I wanted to gently push her away but I was afraid to take my hands out of my pocket and get pick pocketed. I shot my buddy the “Help!” look but he was cracking up at the spectacle.

We walked a block with our arms linked, in this sort of awkward stand off before she gave up and left and my buddy started laughing his ass off.

The weirdest place was the Ocean City, NJ boardwalk when I was like 17. I’ve also been offered it randomly on the street in areas I wouldn’t expect it. Once in New Orleans with a cop about 20 feet away. I said no, laughed and gave the drug dealer a head nod toward the cop like WTF?

Either the world’s dumbest dealer or the world’s worst undercover cop.

Alright, I’m drinking Pinot and watching skinny Knofler and this is related to my Jamaica story so here goes. Give me a minute to type and refill.

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After a wedding on the beach I went to a bar on the beach with my other friend and his wife.

Some rasta dude sat next to us and had a spliff of better weed than we had seen.

We got high and then my friends started fighting and stormed off down the beach back to Beaches.

Dude and I started chatting and he kept acting like just a normal rasta broke bro at the beach with a joint. I bought him a warm Guinness or two while we hung out until the band started.

Once the band started I moved closer to the show and after hanging out for a bit I turn around and he’s right behind me. I eventually move back to the back of the area and we talk again a bit and I buy him another warm Guinness.

At some point here a bus of prostitutes walk in and though they are obviously not instructed to talk to him or look at him I quickly realize he is a pimp of at least 1 bus load of prostitutes he delivers to bars. I started trying to get away from him and shit. I went to the other side of the bar and had 2 or 3 red stripes and turned around and he was standing behind me over there too. Now, I’m kinda worried at this point and tell the bartenders that I don’t trust the person. They give him eye signals. Fucking obvious he’s paying off the bar to run prostitutes through there. So, at that point I just wanted to get home alive and got a taxi as fast as I could. He still owned the taxi driver and had a prostitute insist on riding with me and trying to get me to fuck her. I ran to the security gate at Beaches and neither the taxi driver or the prostitute were allowed in and he told them to fuck off and leave.

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Went to jazz fest the year Tom Petty headlined right before he passed. Very low key but awesome music fest.

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Speaking of attempts to rob/mug me, on that trip it’s like our first night out and we’re walking through Plaza del Sol in Madrid, which is a very touristy night life area with clubs and all. Lots of promoters trying to get tourists to go pay cover.

So we walk through the plaza and this beautiful Spanish girl walks up to us. My radar is immediately going off because:

  1. Single girls don’t usually approach two guys.

  2. We’re obviously American and I don’t think Spanish girls are eager to hang with random American dudes.

  3. Most of all, she’s gorgeous and we’re two average looking dudes, at best.

She asks us to come party with her and her friends. We are asking questions and she’s being evasive, but she says they’re hanging at this awesome club just up this side street that looks pretty deserted. My buddy seems interested in going, but I’m still feeling sketched out.

I asked her what club and she pretended not to understand, so I asked her in my broken Spanish. She said she didn’t know the name of it, so I asked what street. She didn’t know, she just pointed, and said there were a couple.

We bailed and went to some other spots, and I’m pretty sure we dodged getting mugged or something because all the dozens of club promoters trying to hook us in after that worked for specific places, and we passed by her later trying to get some dudes to go down a different side street to a different spot.

The taxi company was literally paid off. I told them not to let the prostitute in the cab (van) and he insisted she was fine and she tried to rub my junk until we arrived at Beaches in which she tried to come inside too even though I said she wasn’t with me. I know that just sounds like prostitution solicitation at that point but I had been telling the pimp moron about how ballin’ my business was and shit. He called me to get Blue Mountain Coffee with him the next morning too after I told his prostitute and taxi to fuck off. I’ve been in many situations but was legitimately scared that night.

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