I think setting chapter goals might work better, and that is fine for me if it is for you. Seeing how Hyperion is broken up what do you think about trying to get to the end of “from the Journal of Father Paul Dure” by the end of next week?
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Yeah sounds good!
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I’ve decided to change this to a monthly review format, but may add some more blog-type entries in during the month if inspiration takes me.
All in all I am getting on ok. I think everyone is dealing with a sense of loss at the moment. For sure some people are dealing with the ultimate sense of loss which is the passing of someone they care deeply for, but everyone is dealing with the loss of normalcy and some degree of personal freedoms. This last week in particular I have been feeling really flat. I also feel some guilt when I think about how much easier this situation should be for me than most people. I have no children that I have to home-school. I have a great job I can do remotely. I am fortunate enough to be able to get groceries delivered to our apt building. I’m also an introvert which makes the feelings of isolation note as acute as what I would imagine extroverted people must feel. But, I know that guilt is pointless and doesn’t help me or anyone else so I dwell on that feeling a lot less now than I would have 12 months ago.
In terms of my daily habits, meditation has completely disappeared. We moved to a new apartment at the beginning of July and I never re-established a “meditation spot”. This is silly of me since I know the upside of this habit for me is probably really really high, so I am going to fix that.
On the bright side, I have started physiotherapy via telemedicine, and started doing related exercises between the weekly appointments. So I kinda dropped one important habit, but restarted another one. I am trying to motivate myself by setting the goal of being able to restart some sports in 2021.
Anyway, on with the numbers
Monthly review - July
Weight: 231 (was 233.2)
Still able to keep things moving in the right direction with this, though momentum has slowed a lot. I still have my hopes set on getting under 220 by the end of the year.
Sleep
Averaged a bit over 8hrs in July, which should be great. But I was still feeling fatigued and having trouble focusing for long periods. I went back to taking some Modafinil, a wakefulness drug I have been prescribed previously. It really doesn’t seem to have a notable impact on me so I stopped again after a few weeks.
Deliberate exercise/Stretches
18/31. I am proud of myself for getting back to work on this one. It is back to dealing with the same long-term issues - core strength and mobility. My main exercises at the moment are bridges, bridge-marches, clamshells and a kinda reverse crunch where I lay on my back and have my knees at 90 degrees, then extend a leg out and lower it, then do the alternate leg. I have also started adding in some kneeling pushups to see if I can build that area up. Cat/Cows are a good one for me to try and loosen up my spine.
Meditation
0/31.
Reading/Podcast
12/31. Not great, but at least getting better. I am currently reading Hyperion, which so far I am finding really excellent. I am quite in awe of the scope of the world Dan Simmons imagined. Definitely one of those books where I don’t even try and remember 90% of the names of people/events and hope he shows me how the most important pieces fit together along the way.
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stay inspired, bro!
what’s the work week ahead have in store?? go to the park and shoot some hoops with the kids
I understand this blog is yours and you should proceed as such but I would personally l I very if you would update it more often. On a personal perspective I think you would probably be a bit more vigilant with meditation if you posted more often
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Howdy!
First thanks to all for the ongoing encouragement in this thread. I am glad I started this blog, even if I kinda feel bad at times that I am not posting something more interesting.
Rexxie - thanks for your suggestion about more frequent updates! I really do appreciate the thought and the logic makes sense. I did want to try this different approach where I updated less frequently but might have a bit more to say. Based on my results below I think I had my best overall month in quite some time, so I am going to try this approach again for September. But, as a general rule, I think more frequent updates should usually help with habit formation and compliance. I don’t think my better results had anything to do with updating this blog less by the way, I think it was more a result of me just getting more momentum and doing a better job of taking spots of time where I was “hitting the wall” with work and using the time to tick off some of my habits and try and change my state.
In general life is good. The anxiety and self esteem struggles continue and likely always will, and I am thinking of finding a therapist again just to keep myself on the right path, but I am still way ahead of where I was even 12 months ago and try to remind myself of that.
Monthly review - August
Weight: 226.8 (was 231)
Genuinely amazed this is still moving down. The last 3 weeks or so we started ordering food in again, which I kinda felt would lead to an increase. I was ok with it, because we hadn’t ordered any food in at all since February and I was happy for the change and prepared for a short term weight fluctuation. I am commonly now having either two meals, or 1 meal and a snack. I used to eat 2-3 meals and snacks.
From everything I understand about diet and nutrition this seems to not be the best approach. I think I should actually be eating more than what I am. But, for whatever reason, my appetite is just a lot lower than what it was and if I am being honest I am finding it easier to just eat less on account of a lower appetite than to spend more time preparing food. I’m making a calculation at the moment that this is “working”, and at some point it will stop and I will rebound a little and need to change my approach. But the more weight I lose with the current approach the easier exercise becomes, and the lower weight I will rebound from when that inevitably happens.
I also haven’t ruled out that there could be something else causing the loss of appetite. I had a video consult with my PCP last week and will be getting bloodwork taken soon to see how everything is looking. Hopefully all is fine, with a significant lowering in my previously super high cholesterol levels. But if there is something else going on hopefully there would be some indicators.
Sleep
Averaged a bit over 8.5 hours in August, which is my best in some time! I think sleeping with an eyemask on is probably helping here. With that said I also did start taking wakefulness medication again last month after consulting with my sleep doctor. I was still feeling tired during the day, even with getting that much sleep. The wakefulness medication really helps, but we also still want to do more work to understand root cause. Of course I do have severe sleep apnea but I wear a CPAP every night and the sleep studies I did indicate that it is all working as expected. We have some more tests we are considering having me do.
Deliberate exercise/Stretches
14/31. I did these activities close enough to once every other day. I am pretty happy with that, and I am seeing progression in all the exercises I am working through.
I have added pushups into the mix, and gone from pushups on my knees to “proper” pushups, and am able to do a set of 12 then a set of 10 as of now. Its not a lot but it’s not nothing! I am still doing video physiotherapy sessions once every other week.
Meditation
19/31. This is great seeing as though I had zero sessions in July. I am not pretty much exclusively using the Insight Timer app and doing unguided meditations. One of the really cool things is that you can set a noise for intervals within your session, which for me is a good way to get a reminder to come back to focus if I am wandering. So I am doing a 12 minute unguided session, with a noise at 3 minute intervals. I wouldnt say I have got any “better” but I think progressing to this unguided format is in itself a step.
Reading/Podcast
22/31. So really this was all listening to podcasts. Im not really sure if I should count this in the same way I would count reading a book, but for the most part I am listening to educational podcasts and I see that as conducive to self-improvement. One thing I want to try more of in this month is listening to a podcast first thing in the morning. It may help with motivation levels during the day.
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Thanks! Yeah, in a lot of ways they are like training wheels I guess, and I kept mine on for far too long. I just kept seeing the guided meditations as like coaching that would make me “better” at meditating in the long run, hoping I would learn new techniques that would benefit me. But I have been listening to different guided meditations from different instructors for so long now that there isn’t anything new out there, so it’s time for me to cultivate my own practice based on everything I have tried.
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How’s it going?
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Thanks for checking in :-)
I had some pretty difficult personal stuff come up some weeks back and haven’t been in the right mental space to participate here. I’m still not really, but I did want to at least drop in and say things are better than they were.
In broad strokes I have lost a little more weight and am now under 220, which is a great milestone. Meditation is happening on and off, and the exercise routine I was developing has disappeared but I am slowly trying to pick my base habits back up again.
I might post a little in Walrus threads when I feel in the right headspace, and hopefully later this year can get back to posting a bit more.
Peace and love to all my unstuck homies.
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Keep your head up, bud. You’re a good one.
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Have been missing you. Hope you’re feeling better soon mate.
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Just popped in to say hello 
Hope you’re doing ok , would love an update when you’re feeling like it.
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Thanks all 
Ive written some kinda long posts and then deleted it three or four times.
The short of it is that I am reckoning with some pretty deeply rooted personal challenges right now, and while I stayed pretty glued to the political threads over the last week or so I have just muted the entire politics category here for my own mental well-being. I know I’ll be ok, I just need to do some introspection, work, and healing.
It’s been a rough year for all of us. I hope the election result brings some hope back into peoples lives. Today is a beautiful day.
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Catching up a few months. Things asploded in September, so I am kinda surprised I ticked off as much as I did.
I take it as a positive that some of these habits didn’t fall completely off the radar in recent times. And while some of the weight loss over this period of time wasn’t healthy (it was the result of not eating much at all for weeks) at least I have kept most of it off.
Monthly review - September
Weight: 222lbs (was 226.8)
Sleep: about 7hrs
Deliberate Exercise/Stretches: 4
Meditation: 18/30
Reading/Podcast: 10/30
Monthly review - October 9/30
Weight: 219.8
Sleep: About 8hrs
Deliberate Exercise/Stretches: 0
Meditation: 17/30
Reading/Podcast: 8/30
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Great to see you 
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Monthly review - November
Weight: 221.8
Sleep: About 8hrs
Deliberate Exercise/Stretches: 2/30
Meditation: 9/30
Reading/Podcast: 8/30
Monthly review - December
Weight: 221.8
Sleep: About 8hrs
Deliberate Exercise/Stretches: 4/31
Meditation: 18/31
Reading/Podcast: 21/31
Reflections
Weight: Probably one of a few positive things for me this year. I lost 40lbs. I fit differently in all my clothes, and just feel a lot happier about where I am at in that respect. I am still overweight, but this is the lightest I have been in about 10 years.
Sleep: Well, I think tracking this metric a lot more closely this year really helped me understand the importance for me of getting 8 hours average at minimum. This is really helpful for me to be more in touch with and tracking more consistently. I expect I will be tracking this for the rest of my life.
Deliberate Exercise/Stretches: This fell way off compared to 2019. That said, I have been living in a studio apartment with by wife all year, with both of us working from home. I spent 4 months of the year not even leaving the floor of my apartment building. I expect much more in 2021.
Meditation: I meditated 205 times in 2020, vs 60 times in 2019. I think its fair to say I stopped short of making the habit of it that I wanted to, but its still a massive improvement and I am sure it is beneficial to me. As I have mentioned previously in this B/Log I think this is something that can really be transformative for me if I can go to the next level and meditate for longer periods/more frequently.
Reading/Podcast: I completed this habit 203 times in 2020, compared to 216 times in 2019. It’s close enough to call it even. With that said, I think I tipped the balance towards podcast a lot this year, and realistically I don’t think it gives me as much benefit as a reading habit. I’ll try to course correct on that this year.
All in all you could take the pandemic out of it and 2020 was still by far the most difficult of my life in terms of what was thrown at me. As much as that sucks, I think I have held together a lot better than I would have say 5 years ago. I’m proud of the work I’ve done to make that possible.
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Yo @seities how you shaping up this year?
Also, I swear you had a ‘good news’ thread somewhere, but can’t seem to find it?
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Hello miliboonily!
You can find the Good News thread at Good news
I haven’t updated it recently. To be honest it just didn’t seem all that valuable to people and even though it didn’t take that much work to copy in new content it didn’t feel worth it.
Things are challenging for me at the moment but I am doing the best I can and know that the days will start to get easier. We all have our rough patches. I just try to remind myself that I am a work in progress and am learning more every day 
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Thanks for the linky seites, nfi why I couldn’t find the thread on my own.
It’s not easy being a ‘half-full’ kinda guy all the time (as your online persona portrays imo), so stay as strong as possible and don’t beat yourself up if you have an off day or three.
Whenever I was having a half-empty day I’d peruse your Good News thread and the world seemed a better place again. Gonna suscribe to the newsletters you’ve linked previously, so thanks!
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Thanks Mili. Let me know if you ended up subscribing. If you didn’t, I would be happy to add some more content into that thread. Just knowing you actively went looking for it on a half-empty day makes it feel worth updating a bit more regularly to me :-)
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