Merrick Garland: What would you say you do here?

And can we officially retire the phrase “nobody is above the law.” Lots of people are indeed quite obviously above the law.

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Just think about all of the credit the Biden Administration continues to reap from this nomination and confirmation.

Every time someone has accused Biden of being too liberal or too far left, they are always met with “But Merrick Garland, a former Republican is Attorney General” and they immediately say “Oh that’s right, the Biden Administration actually isn’t too liberal, I change my viewpoint.”

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I’ve been assured by lawtwitter that he is signaling DOJ is on the case. Trust him.

Lemme guess: They’re going to announce the indictments when JFK and Elvis show up at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave in a DeLorean. Do I have it right?

https://twitter.com/JohnWDean/status/1478179194647445504

“Measured and judicious.” LOL. Like we’re supposed to be in awe just because he speaks publicly and will essentially say nothing. From the article:

Rather, Garland, the nation’s top law enforcement officer, will offer broad remarks about “the department’s solemn duty to uphold the Constitution, follow the facts and the law and pursue equal justice under law without fear or favor.”

Nothing inspires me more than legal pablum like this. Get em Merrick! It doesn’t sound like this will be some event where he could take questions. When I picture Merrick pursuing his “solemn duty” it’s just his palms to his eyes, scrubbing his face like an otter, nose bridge pinch and wince, stomach roiling with ulcers, like his whole body curved and consumed by cowardice in a sweat-through-your-grey-govt-suit way. Prove me wrong MG! :dap:

EDIT: Removed some of the already quoted article I got re-mad at

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This is in the same genre, it’s like Lawbro Jazz, where you’re supposed to draw great meaning from the spaces BETWEEN the words or whatever. Fucking die.

Do people not know this?

https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1478818653734719490

People who have never been arrested/had family members arrested probably don’t.

Of course people know this, at least people here. I think I unfollowed Abramson for some reason but this thread seems to do a pretty good job of summarizing my problems with the DoJ’s handling of J6:

https://twitter.com/SethAbramson/status/1478822419175456773

Especially these points:

https://twitter.com/SethAbramson/status/1478823757967941640

https://twitter.com/SethAbramson/status/1478824150366138371

https://twitter.com/SethAbramson/status/1478825037729878020

https://twitter.com/SethAbramson/status/1478825413581455361

In addition to them being handed obstruction counts on a silver platter by LOL Mueller. The House J6 committee members have said they’ve seen absolutely no evidence DoJ is investigating the J6 plotters. If Garland just karaoked “Faith” by George Michael it might have been more effective

DOJ just still out there defending Trump.

https://twitter.com/mkraju/status/1484667093442248709?t=kSgXgjNnu1IOzWOInAON0w&s=19

So nothing

https://twitter.com/roblegare/status/1496175264946081797?s=21

Does that guy do ANYTHING?

Seriously, what is his day-to-day schedule?

He takes many calls and meetings throughout the day, or whatever Trump’s lazy fake schedules always said.

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The same as me when I get a task at work that I don’t want to do. “That looks tricky but I’ll look into it” then hope people forget about it. They usually do.

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Infuriating

Garland is almost definitely thinking “If I show the Republicans how even handed and unbiased I am here, maybe I can get that SC seat with their support!”

My guess is that he’s generally hands-off on cases and spending more time on fixing administrative stuff wrecked by Trump that doesn’t have much of a direct influence on policy.

This is called navel gazing, and its not a compliment.

https://twitter.com/JoyceWhiteVance/status/1496201158964260872?s=20&t=-9BAUra77SEdj0tgaV66uw

WEGOTHIM.JPEG

LOL WE ARE SIX YEARS INTO THIS SHIT