Had to phone the police at the weekend for 2 kids playing across the road from me with a battery & fireworks, after the police had left they informed me that 1 was charged & 1 let off.
Phoned the boss there as I needed a day off
Me “I got a wee cough, need a day aff”
Boss “What? You’ve got a wee cough”
Me “Ahh thanks, I was only going to take the day”
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a UP original
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https://mobile.twitter.com/offtheballbbc/status/1161334303608967168
Found out the answer to this joke…
https://mobile.twitter.com/MarshallJulius/status/1362736691149234182
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…isn’t it “shat”? 
Based on the last 70 years I’d say it’s not all that well prepared for war either.
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Feature or bug.
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Considering how many it starts or get involved with I’d say it’s a pretty big bug to be consistently terrible at them.
1 Like
Other countries have more WIM
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If you win the war you can’t keep paying for the war
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2 Likes
7 Likes
https://mobile.twitter.com/TracybBeaker/status/1363933525066539012
https://mobile.twitter.com/connormcleod_/status/1359201917851889665
https://mobile.twitter.com/ChiChi_tivation/status/1359106129150754819
https://mobile.twitter.com/Scottish_Tweets/status/1357109049351929859
https://mobile.twitter.com/bridohingwy/status/1353762553466396672
https://mobile.twitter.com/Scottish_Tweets/status/1353469073078824961
https://mobile.twitter.com/Scottish_Tweets/status/1351147430037893125
https://mobile.twitter.com/ryanstirling76/status/1349082460466896896
7 Likes