This is a great point, if it comes to a head, check your lease and make sure this is accurate and then you can say:
Karen,
I have carefully reviewed my lease to confirm that I am not breaking any rules. If there is an issue between my lease and the HOA rules, you’ll have to take that up with my landlord. My lease was signed on DATE, and is a legally binding contract, not a set of suggested guidelines.
That said, I will be sure to be careful not to admit any criminals into the building, and to continue being a safe and responsible neighbor.
As far as i can tell, my state has laws saying that if rules are approved by the homeowners and they are formally registered with the government then they become binding on everyone, including renters.
Of course, they then still need to be enforced and are subject to the “lol no” defence.
Seems a reasonable system.
However as Karen points out these are just guidelines.
My options now.
Something short and dismissive. “Ah. Understood. Guidelines only”
Ignore completely and carry on doing my thing.
Some kind of attempt to give her a gracious way out.
“Karen. I absolutely understand the work you do, especially the recycling. That was something I was really happy to see introduced. I will take these guidelines under advice, but I can assure you that we won’t be letting anyone into the building who we haven’t invited. Just to be clear. I now consider this matter closed.”
I like either 2 or 3. One seems a little petty and is likely to keep the back-and-forth going at least one more round. If you think it’s unlikely she’ll confront your partner, I prefer 2.
The fact that you’re spending time researching nonsense like HOA regulations and figuring out if they’re actual rules or just bullshit she wrote down, and draining your emotional well worrying about this bullshit, means the game is already over and you lost. You have to put people like this on defense. Passive aggressive bullies bank on your sense of decency to get away with abusive behavior. If you ignore her completely and pretend she doesn’t exist, what is she really going to do? Absolutely nothing.
Just to emphasize Riverman’s point - you do not have a contract with this woman. You are not obligated to talk to her, and your well-intentioned efforts to be civil are not benefitting you at all. The only thing you should be figuring out is if your lease contains a general clause obligating you to follow all HOA rules and guidelines. If the answer is no (and it almost certainly does not obligate you to follow “guidelines”), just ignore her.
I don’t think this is the best advice in some cases. Here we can assign monetary fines for not following HOA rules. We can go so far as to put a lien on the property if not paid. Some jurisdictions allow the HOA to force a sale if not paid!
If these are actual HOA rules (which isn’t clear yet) the owner of his unit could suffer consequences if not followed.
Yeah, I think inviting her to take it up with the owner of your unit could be a mistake. She seems the type to relish that challenge. Think of the barren hours you’ve invited her to fill. Why, without this distraction, she might have had to entertain some introspective thoughts!
And your landlord definitely isn’t going to want the hassle. They’ll likely not extend your lease, rather than deal with her thrice-weekly phone calls.
“Here’s a word doc I just make up. Just guidelines. I can add a date” email answers this question.
I have what look like official rules attached to my contract. Her rules def aren’t in there.
This may of course prompt her to get her rules ratified, but a) that’s gonna take time to do b) take 29 days before they come into effect and c) I can still invoke the “who’s gonna make me” rule.
No risk of landlord not renewing. I’m a good tenant and the rental market is way down because of Covid.
I think you’re doing great so far. Much better than the ignore her completely line.
However, now you’ve got many options. Including ignoring her at this point.
Couple of questions:
After reading the real rules have you noticed her breaking any?
How sure are you that she can get these rules ratified? I would think that being able to take your bike up to your apartment and allowing uber deliveries would be supported by most owners. It’s likely she’ll try, but it only works if she has support to make it official.