Are we not allowed to peek into the future? There’s a Thread Temporal Prime Directive or something?
Tasha comes back in an alternate timeline. She understands her death in the mainline was meaningless (thanks, Guinan), so she decides to go out in style. But not really, ofc. When the alternate timeline is undone, she is temporarily alive in the past, but then is somewhat ingloriously killed while trying to escape the Romulan General that made her his consort. So the actual dying bit still sucks but Crosby was partially redeemed and Yesterday’s Enterprise is a good episode imo.
hey i’m just glad they didn’t kill dr crusher when gates mcfadden fought with the showrunner and got fired/quit
the tasha yar/dr crusher leaving is a lesson for if i ever get into show business. if i’m quitting because the writing is terrible, and i’m open about that fact, then the writers may kill my role permanently because they’re mad at me for insulting them. but if i’m quitting because i’m fighting with the writers’ boss, then they can leave an opening for me to come back when the problematic showrunner is eventually fired
Kind of embarrassing but I didn’t realize until fairly recently that Pulaski was played by Diana Muldaur, who was a two-time guest star on the original series.
the woman picard stood up 20 years ago shows up on the enterprise, and her husband is a scientist who just ripped a hole in time. the ship skips around time slightly a couple times. data patches the hole in the timestream and picard sees the life he could have had if he had chosen family over career. career’s better. you’re captain of the federation flagship! they’re jealous of you, bro
Summary
s1e17 When The Bough Breaks
s1e1, s1e2 Encounter at Farpoint parts 1 and 2
s1e22 Symbiosis
s1e20 Heart Of Glory
s1e8 Justice
s1e10 Hide and “Q”
s1e21 The Arsenal Of Freedom
s1e9 The Battle
s1e13 Datalore
s1e18 Home Soil
s1e11 Haven
s1e6 Where No One Has Gone Before
s1e19 Coming Of Age
s1e12 The Big Goodbye
s1e15 11001001
s1e7 Lonely Among Us
s1e23 Skin Of Evil
s1e14 Angel One
s1e4 Code of Honor
s1e16 Too Short A Season
s1e5 The Last Outpost s1e24 We’ll Always Have Paris
s1e3 The Naked Now
picard’s oldest friend, another captain, lets him in on a grand conspiracy that threatens the entire federation. picard only has two friends: wesley’s dad (deceased) and this guy who is alive and healthy except his ship explodes hours after telling picard about the conspiracy, killing him. so picard is the only one who knows that high-level federation officials are being replaced by duplicates.
turns out it’s brain slugs. and they give the human hosts extra strength. this fat elderly admiral whoops riker’s ass one on one, throws geordi through a wall, and even bests worf in a boss battle that lasts like 5 seconds. crusher shows up with a phaser and stuns his ass into submission. holding him in med bay, she discovers the slug.
meanwhile, down on the planet (the planet is earth, they’re at federation hq in sunny san fransisco) picard is having a very tense meeting with the higher ups, who are all controlled by brain slugs and eat individual bowls of crawling maggots for dinner. he’s unarmed, but then riker shows up! to reveal that he too is being controlled by a brain slug.
they’re all so happy with themselves, they encourage riker to eat up some live maggots. riker’s like, ‘hell yeah lemme just grab a big ol handfull of… PHASER’ and starts blasting. when they get phased, the brain slugs crawl out and move around using clay stop motion photography. they lead picard and riker to the main host human and the two of them phaser him so much that his whole torso is blown apart, and a monstrous dog-sized brain slug crawls out of the bloody torso to howl at them, and picard and riker blast it to smitherines too. i think david cronenberg directed this episode.
Summary
s1e17 When The Bough Breaks s1e25 Conspiracy
s1e1, s1e2 Encounter at Farpoint parts 1 and 2
s1e22 Symbiosis
s1e20 Heart Of Glory
s1e8 Justice
s1e10 Hide and “Q”
s1e21 The Arsenal Of Freedom
s1e9 The Battle
s1e13 Datalore
s1e18 Home Soil
s1e11 Haven
s1e6 Where No One Has Gone Before
s1e19 Coming Of Age
s1e12 The Big Goodbye
s1e15 11001001
s1e7 Lonely Among Us
s1e23 Skin Of Evil
s1e14 Angel One
s1e4 Code of Honor
s1e16 Too Short A Season
s1e5 The Last Outpost
s1e24 We’ll Always Have Paris
s1e3 The Naked Now
three 21st century dead americans were cryonicly frozen, sent into orbit and forgotten for 360 years until the enterprise stumbles on it. dr crusher is able to revive them easily, giving us an opportunity to compare and contrast an unrecognizable future through the eyes of relatively modern americans.
Data notes that television stopped being a thing around 2040. a preposterous assertion in 1987 but from here i think they’re likely to end up pretty close.
the undead financier is being very annoying, thinking he needs to talk to his lawyers about his wealth and business. picard tries to let him know that they live in a post-scarcity society and hoarding wealth doesn’t increase personal freedom anymore. his capitalistic tendencies are so annoying when you look at his behavior within the context of a society where anyone could have a gold crown and jewels if they wanted, they would only need to ask.
the B plot underneath all this an investigation into multiple attacks across outposts in the neutral zone. enterprise goes to investigate and they’re met with a romulan warbird, also investigating attacks on their outposts. when the romulans find out the federation doesn’t have any intel for them, they start with the threats and posturing and fly off.
Summary
s1e17 When The Bough Breaks
s1e25 Conspiracy
s1e1, s1e2 Encounter at Farpoint parts 1 and 2
s1e22 Symbiosis
s1e20 Heart Of Glory
s1e8 Justice
s1e10 Hide and “Q” s1e26 The Neutral Zone
s1e21 The Arsenal Of Freedom
s1e9 The Battle
s1e13 Datalore
s1e18 Home Soil
s1e11 Haven
s1e6 Where No One Has Gone Before
s1e19 Coming Of Age
s1e12 The Big Goodbye
s1e15 11001001
s1e7 Lonely Among Us
s1e23 Skin Of Evil
s1e14 Angel One
s1e4 Code of Honor
s1e16 Too Short A Season
s1e5 The Last Outpost
s1e24 We’ll Always Have Paris
s1e3 The Naked Now
that guy annoyed me too, what part of you’re on a flying spaceship going at apparently faster than the speed of light and you haven’t figured out yet you’re not in 1987 or whatever year you f’ing moron. Picard should’ve said they’re dead and your money is long gone you f’ing moron instead.
looks at the thought process of the average person, oh right
bro was doing compound interest math and thought, “i must be the wealthiest man in the whole world! alert the newspapers!” nah bro your wealth was appropriated by The People shortly after the bell riots
a lot of changes. wesley is working on the bridge in uniform, dr crusher is gone but not dead, riker has a beard and counselor troi is pregnant. she claims it’s immaculate conception via ghostly presence. she goes from finding out she’s pregnant to giving birth within 2 days. a few hours later the child looks about 8 years old and is speaking english
the new doctor assures the crew and us in the audience that troi’s vagina is in perfect condition, as if no pregnancy had ever occurred. guinan and wesley have a heart-to-heart in 10-forward and she lies to him claiming she never met picard on a mississippi steamboat in 1864
the child stops ageing at about 8, tries out some stuff, and dies. troi psychically senses its message that it was a space energy intelligence trying out biological life for a lark. but like the doctor said her vagina is fine so nbd
Summary
s1e17 When The Bough Breaks
s1e25 Conspiracy
s1e1, s1e2 Encounter at Farpoint parts 1 and 2
s1e22 Symbiosis
s1e20 Heart Of Glory
s1e8 Justice
s1e10 Hide and “Q”
s1e26 The Neutral Zone
s1e21 The Arsenal Of Freedom
s1e9 The Battle
s1e13 Datalore s2e1 The Child
s1e18 Home Soil
s1e11 Haven
s1e6 Where No One Has Gone Before
s1e19 Coming Of Age
s1e12 The Big Goodbye
s1e15 11001001
s1e7 Lonely Among Us
s1e23 Skin Of Evil
s1e14 Angel One
s1e4 Code of Honor
s1e16 Too Short A Season
s1e5 The Last Outpost
s1e24 We’ll Always Have Paris
s1e3 The Naked Now
the enterprise becomes trapped in an MC echer dimension as a powerful being performs diabolical experiments on them. this is the source of an all-timer gif as the entity decides it is going to kill half the crew one by one so it can learn about death
picard reasons the only thing he can do is destroy the enterprise. him and riker enter the self destruct and decide to give the crew a half hour to cope. picard spends his final minutes on earth listening to music and reading a book alone in his room. troi and data come in to wax philosophical but it’s the entity fucking with him. picard implies he’s agnostic and is fully ready to blow up the whole ship and die. athiests and agnostics were the radical islamists of the 1980s.
the entity releases them as the timer counts down. picard lets it tick longer than it needs to just so he can feel something. riker is glad to avert self destruct; he loves his life. picard rips on riker for being too eager to keep living wtf get some help jean luc
Summary
s1e17 When The Bough Breaks
s1e25 Conspiracy
s1e1, s1e2 Encounter at Farpoint parts 1 and 2
s1e22 Symbiosis
s1e20 Heart Of Glory
s1e8 Justice
s1e10 Hide and “Q”
s1e26 The Neutral Zone
s1e21 The Arsenal Of Freedom s2e2 Where Silence Has Lease
s1e9 The Battle
s1e13 Datalore
s2e1 The Child
s1e18 Home Soil
s1e11 Haven
s1e6 Where No One Has Gone Before
s1e19 Coming Of Age
s1e12 The Big Goodbye
s1e15 11001001
s1e7 Lonely Among Us
s1e23 Skin Of Evil
s1e14 Angel One
s1e4 Code of Honor
s1e16 Too Short A Season
s1e5 The Last Outpost
s1e24 We’ll Always Have Paris
s1e3 The Naked Now
geordi and Data are friends, and they both love sherlock holmes so they arrange to play out a classic mystery in the holodeck. but Data is highly autistic and has a perfect memory of every aspect of every sherlock story, so he blows the big reveal within the first 10 seconds. the new doctor mocks him for his lack of humanity and geordi reprograms the holodeck to create a unique mystery with an opponent capable of defeating Data. the new doctor is immediately kidnapped and brent spiner is delightful playing Data playing sherlock
professor moriarty very quickly takes control of the holodeck and critical aspects of the ship. picard enters the holodeck with Data to negotiate. they accept morariarty is a conscious being, but they don’t have the technology for him to exist off the holodeck. they agree to save the program tho and maybe in a couple hundred years who knows. morariarty accepts this with grace, releases his hostage and bids the crew goodbye.
Summary
s1e17 When The Bough Breaks
s1e25 Conspiracy
s1e1, s1e2 Encounter at Farpoint parts 1 and 2
s1e22 Symbiosis s2e3 Elementary, Dear Data
s1e20 Heart Of Glory
s1e8 Justice
s1e10 Hide and “Q”
s1e26 The Neutral Zone
s1e21 The Arsenal Of Freedom
s2e2 Where Silence Has Lease
s1e9 The Battle
s1e13 Datalore
s2e1 The Child
s1e18 Home Soil
s1e11 Haven
s1e6 Where No One Has Gone Before
s1e19 Coming Of Age
s1e12 The Big Goodbye
s1e15 11001001
s1e7 Lonely Among Us
s1e23 Skin Of Evil
s1e14 Angel One
s1e4 Code of Honor
s1e16 Too Short A Season
s1e5 The Last Outpost
s1e24 We’ll Always Have Paris
s1e3 The Naked Now
This was one of my favorite tropes when pulled off where
things hinge on someone having used the wrong word and the mistake is hidden in casual conservation that would slip by unnoticed. It was especially good being in a Sherlock epsiode, a guy whose deal is solving the clues that are obvious but mean nothing to the undiscerning mind
a libidinous rogue is found drifting in space alone in a broken ship. all the women love him. he’s there for like 5 minutes, spends 4 of them goofing on data for being socially rigid and asexual and walks straight into a gorgeous woman’s bedroom (teri hatcher, uncredited). Data is STUNNED and spends a significant chunk of the episode trying to quantify rizz
two ships are both pursuing okona, one captain claiming okana stole some jewels, the other claiming okana impregnated his daughter. both these ships are massively undergunned against the enterprise so despite their aggressive demands and protestations the situation has low stakes. and it turns out that the two ships are rival families and they’ve got a romeo and juliet situation going with the pregnant daughter and jewel-borrower son on the other ship.
Summary
s1e17 When The Bough Breaks
s1e25 Conspiracy
s1e1, s1e2 Encounter at Farpoint parts 1 and 2
s1e22 Symbiosis
s2e3 Elementary, Dear Data
s1e20 Heart Of Glory
s1e8 Justice
s1e10 Hide and “Q”
s1e26 The Neutral Zone
s1e21 The Arsenal Of Freedom s2e4 The Outrageous Okona
s2e2 Where Silence Has Lease
s1e9 The Battle
s1e13 Datalore
s2e1 The Child
s1e18 Home Soil
s1e11 Haven
s1e6 Where No One Has Gone Before
s1e19 Coming Of Age
s1e12 The Big Goodbye
s1e15 11001001
s1e7 Lonely Among Us
s1e23 Skin Of Evil
s1e14 Angel One
s1e4 Code of Honor
s1e16 Too Short A Season
s1e5 The Last Outpost
s1e24 We’ll Always Have Paris
s1e3 The Naked Now
the crew meets an alien diplomat who is deaf and never speaks, and is shadowed by three companion aliens who psychically translate his thoughts into speech. they all look perfectly human. the king immediately starts hitting on troi but she’s put off by the translators.
at the first peace conference, one of the representatives murders all three translators before being killed by his companion. it’s an all-is-lost moment for the peace talks, but then Data learns the long lost art of american sign language, which this psychic alien is coincidentally proficient in. and convince him to spend several months teaching the diplomats from the two warring factions to use sign language, followed by official peace negotiations.
Summary
s1e17 When The Bough Breaks
s1e25 Conspiracy
s1e1, s1e2 Encounter at Farpoint parts 1 and 2
s1e22 Symbiosis
s2e3 Elementary, Dear Data
s1e20 Heart Of Glory
s1e8 Justice
s1e10 Hide and “Q”
s1e26 The Neutral Zone
s1e21 The Arsenal Of Freedom
s2e4 The Outrageous Okona
s2e2 Where Silence Has Lease
s1e9 The Battle
s1e13 Datalore
s2e1 The Child
s1e18 Home Soil
s1e11 Haven
s1e6 Where No One Has Gone Before
s1e19 Coming Of Age
s1e12 The Big Goodbye
s1e15 11001001 s2e5 Loud As A Whisper
s1e7 Lonely Among Us
s1e23 Skin Of Evil
s1e14 Angel One
s1e4 Code of Honor
s1e16 Too Short A Season
s1e5 The Last Outpost
s1e24 We’ll Always Have Paris
s1e3 The Naked Now
