Dodger's spot to kill the time: All interloping interlocutors welcome!

Sundry Chitchat
71

Oh, I (shockingly) digressed.

Issue for the past year and half is that I reach out (~every 6months) and she just dgaf. I then melt down when drunk within a few days, still don’t say anything heinous and I stand by it but it’s emotional.

I texted today just apologizing again and letting her know I’d like a relationship whenever she would. She replied with a diatribe. I apologized again and said moving forward she’ll just need to work through whatever herself but I’ll be here (bc she told me I need years of help and to reach out to her after I’m a good person). Love you, Dad.

She replied to my wife (bc I had her send the same text as I didn’t know if I was blocked) and she stated she didn’t appreciate her using me as a proxy, that she was cutting off all communication with Dodger, but she loved her and appreciated her support.

72

Well, glad some things are great. Hope your daughter and you can resolve things as she gets older.

I’ve essentially never been to church, but I like this one:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

73

Yeah I didn’t grow up in it.

I always had a thirst and a preoccupation with the afterlife and a general curiosity about way, way back history. Prehistory and the ice age.

Started going to church with ex, started having sex, didn’t want to be a hypocrite so stopped going. Went when married for a year.

74

One thing I’ve been telling myself for a while is similar. Don’t worry about the things I can control, bc I can control them. Don’t worry about the thing I can’t control, bc I can’t control them.

It’s obvious but the obvious things are the only truths. Takes a while to embrace it.

75

Does sound very painful. It sounds like she wants to hurt you and knows how to do it. Hopefully at some point she won’t want to hurt you.

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76

Right, she used my name intentionally.

That’s the only thing she can have power over, refusal to accept me as dad. My wife is at a loss why all these people seemingly hate me.

I understand why, it’s all cause and effect. The answer is to be very selective about who you procreate with (at least in this age).

77

She has to love herself first.

She hates me bc she knows I’m right. She always wants to be the smartest person in the room. It’s the thing she takes pride in, that I shake (she was a successful debater). She loves being a big fish instead of swimming with me. She prefers to shame Trump supporters and surround herself with those she can judge, than to agree with me on anything and feel love.

She holds onto her ego so badly that she can’t just be.

82

I don’t need to be informed on things that I can google.

Sometimes I take this place like it’s talking too much. And by sometimes…

84

I gotta go to sleep, but if you want you can PM me about whatever and I’m pretty confident I won’t be judgmental about it.

85

If I bounce, everything is fine.

I could’ve deleted all posts but I left the substantive ones. The other ones are indicative of how I just sit here and waste nights. It’s like all or nothing and it doesn’t feel all that productive.

I’m really fine. I’ll pm you to redundantly say thanks tho.

1 Like